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Result page:    2  3  4  5  Next  (90 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-16 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159772
Caption: Cool shirt. You gonna watch the new Star Trek tv show? No way! It's a horrible show and it's going to fail! What? Why? All the angriest people on the internet agree with me. It looks to much like J.J. Abrams' J.J. - Trek nonsense … It's a scam to distract from CBS suing fan film creators ... O ... K ... it looks too advanced to be a prequel, the bridge is on the bottom of the saucer and not the top, the Klingons look stupid ... O ... K ... I guess I can ... There are too many minorities on it ... it's on CBS All Access instead of on broadcast or Netflix ... Wait ... What?! I shouldn't have to pay $6 month and watch it where they want me to watch it. They should give it to me how I want it! Didn't you just get all racist for a second? It should be free. It shouldn't force "diversity" down my throat. I should be able to see it on the channel I want to see it on. There! Right there! You just did it again!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-03 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-03 Pub. Date: 2017-05-03
Image Number: 157547
Caption: Why erebody always say "think of the children"? How'd that get all flipped 'round? When we was kids, no matter what crazy, deranged #@$% we saw, our mommas said "don't mind that, that's grown folk's business." When they all of a sudden decide that grown folks have to all be "Mister Rogers" instead of kids havin' to mind they business? It's apparent you're not a parent. You tell one more "dad joke" an' I won't be held responsible for my actions.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-10 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-10 Pub. Date: 2017-03-10
Image Number: 155383
Caption: When did you know you were in love with Vancouver? It happened one night over Skype … I said "we must be double-planets, because our barycenter is somewhere between us in space, outside of either of our bodies … and because in our orbit around it, we're tidally locked, unable to turn away form one another." When she bit her lip and told me "that was so sexy" instead of slowly backing away from her computer, I knew it was true love. Dios mio.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-02 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-02 Pub. Date: 2017-02-02
Image Number: 153974
Caption: Dick, I just got an angry call from Mr. Trump. He said I blew off the meeting. Didn't I tell you to reschedule the meeting for next week? If you're responsible for us losing a multi-million dollar account, Dick, you're … I'm not, ma'am. You told me not to reschedule the meeting. In alternate fact, you told me to take the afternoon off instead of making that call. "Alternate fact" is not actually a thing, Dick Fink. It's not my fault you don't watch the news, ma'am.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-01 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-01 Pub. Date: 2017-02-01
Image Number: 153973
Caption: There must have been a moment long ago when it all could have done differently, Rosencrantz … When the living could've chosen to be cooperative instead of predatory. Kind instead of cruel. Selfless rather than self-centered. It was probably when the first fish emerged from the sea to walk on land. If only it had been Lucy the fish instead of Sadie. Lucy never should've trusted that Sadie.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-22 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-22 Pub. Date: 2017-01-22
Image Number: 152909
Caption: I'm so over 2017. Dr. Noodle. I was looking forward to it, but now it can't end too soon for me. I thought it was going to be like old times. I thought I'd get to see what she could do. With her talent and strength, there was so much she could have accomplished. Instead, we're left with a lot less light and a lot more darkness. Now who's going to save the republic from that spoiled little angry, narcissistic baby-man? I miss Carrie Fisher too. General Leia Organa was our only hope.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-08 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-08 Pub. Date: 2016-11-08
Image Number: 150713
Caption: Exit polls in a couple of key states are showing surprisingly strong support for Donald Trump. American Pub. Let me guess, you're covering the election for the Candorville Post instead of hooking up with the lady you came to Canada to visit. What?! How'd you -- I'm you from an alternate reality where all this already happened. Oh. So ... how'd your election turn out? World War III Vet.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-26 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-26 Pub. Date: 2016-09-26
Image Number: 149025
Caption: Step in to the machine please, sir. Ted Striker Memorial Airport. Candorville/Canardville. Isn't that the machine that shows me naked? You don't have to go through it. I can have Agent Crotchgrabber pat you down instead. Just make sure this doesn't end up on the internet. No promises.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-24 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-24 Pub. Date: 2016-09-24
Image Number: 148766
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Paying 30% interest on the bus ticket you helped me buy 20 years ago is more important to me than survival. So I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy bundling all my cash to send to you instead of using it to feed my child, pay my rent and keep my lights on. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm done making money appear out of thin air. Beep.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-23 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-23 Pub. Date: 2016-09-23
Image Number: 148765
Caption: "Fraud: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesn't. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "Prison: A building in which people are legally held as a ... " Never mind, it was just an idea.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-30 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-30 Pub. Date: 2016-08-30
Image Number: 147920
Caption: That trailer for Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Church" don't look like nothin' but "Driving Miss Daisy Part 2." It look like it literally a film about a brotha who spend decades serving white people an' tryin' to be part of they family instead of makin' his own. I was willin' to look the other way when he was talkin' to animals, and when a tree made him shut up for a whole movie, an' when he played a donkey. But when he play a black man who want nothin' outta life but to cook grits for two white women, I draw the line. It's a true story!!! That makes it ok.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-26 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-26 Pub. Date: 2016-07-26
Image Number: 146471
Caption: What'd you think of my article about why our country's waged so many wars? I thought it had a few typos. You wrote "Philistine" instead of "Philippines." You wrote "Manicure Destiny" instead of "Manifest Destiny." And I'm pretty sure "First Barbershop War" is not a thing. I mean what do you think of my point? I think you should stop trying to write articles with your iPhone.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-28 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-28 Pub. Date: 2015-11-28
Image Number: 135627
Caption: I've been thinking about how you want to really pursue this romance with that Vancouver chick. Maybe you should focus on other parts of your life instead. Maybe channel all this passion you're feeling into that book you've been writing. Maybe you're right. That would probably really impress her.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-30 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-30 Pub. Date: 2015-09-30
Image Number: 133084
Caption: Where do you think we'll be 3,000 years from now, Susan? Do you think we'll even be recognizable as human beings? Will we all have nanites coursing through our bodies repairing damage and connecting us all to a hive mind? Will we have no bodies at all, and instead me sentient programs uploaded to the cloud to escape some global catastrophe? Will we still like pizza? Pizza is eternal.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-30 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-30 Pub. Date: 2015-07-30
Image Number: 130317
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. @Candorville - I read your interview with your old roommate who joined ISIS. It was heart-breaking, cuz it reminded me of my own daughter who also ran away to join terrorists instead of staying home and ordering the brand new cotton flavored grizzly bear treats from tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. The pope is right, Capitalism is getting out of control. Twitter. Oh, how I loved my daughter.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-03 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-03 Pub. Date: 2015-04-03
Image Number: 124961
Caption: Last night, I dreamt that you and I were married. Only instead of a hat, you wore a mohawk. And instead of being into science fiction, you were into Harleys. And instead of being sweet, you were a jerk. And instead of having a two-year-old son, you had no kids at all. But other than that, it was totally you. Dream-me is a very lucky jerk.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-08 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-08 Pub. Date: 2014-11-08
Image Number: 118500
Caption: When you think about it, AMERICAN CHEESE is very appropriately named. It comes in several different colors, and it's almost always "processed cheese food" instead of authentic cheese. The only thing that'd make it MORE American is if it paid way more for its cellphone bill than European cheese did. Hey, I LIKE American cheese! It also has a very low melting point.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-18 instead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-18 Pub. Date: 2014-09-18
Image Number: 116481
Caption: "FRAUD: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesnt. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "PRISON: A building in which people are legally held as a punishment. Never mind, it was just an idea.
     
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