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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-12-05 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-12-05 Pub. Date: 2017-12-05
Image Number: 165933
Caption: Good thing we voted for Trump. See how the stock market is higher than ever! Stocks are goin' through the roof! How much stocks we got, pa?
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-28 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-28 Pub. Date: 2017-10-28
Image Number: 164592
Caption: $300 Million Contract Awarded to 2 Person Company from Interior Secretary Zinke's Hometown … hmmm … We love Puerto Rico! So … how long have you worked for the company? Well … let's see. What's today? Tuesday?
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-18 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 164087
Caption: I want you to know how hard this is for me.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-27 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-27 Pub. Date: 2017-09-27
Image Number: 163284
Caption: Trumps Stump in Alabama. We wanna invite y'all over to dinner at the farm. Y'kin git to know the real Trump base. How about that, dear. Want to get to know the real Trump base? No.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-23 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-23 Pub. Date: 2017-09-23
Image Number: 163250
Caption: Turndown Service for the Mnuchins. So … where's the chocolates? Don't forget the chocolates. We are important people, very important, and we are very rich. Doing the country a favor by even being here. You know how much my clothes cost? Hmm? A lot … so don't forget the chocolates. Sam. Housekeeping Staff.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-19 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 163073
Caption: Off to Afghanistan. How do you feel? Like a campaign worker. US.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-07 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-07 Pub. Date: 2017-09-07
Image Number: 162554
Caption: How DACA will Work. Ok, you kids stop your dreaming and get out.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-08-06 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-08-06 Pub. Date: 2017-08-06
Image Number: 161457
Caption: That's right! I won the most stupendous vote in the history of the world, and you can't believe the lying media. They don't even speak English … and Hillary is a Russian spy, of course, you knew that … by Gumphrey Daniels … Ain't that nice for the president to come and tell pa how things are ... Why, of course, ma, we his people ... The Base.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-05-22 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-05-22 Pub. Date: 2017-05-22
Image Number: 158505
Caption: Extended Chin Stroke with Mr. Pence. The question arises: What's a loyal vice president to do when the president seems to be on the road to self-destruction? How best to help and show loyalty while so many others are criticizing? All the while trying to do what's best for the country. A path to self-destruction. Yes, well, self-destruction. What to do ... What to do ... Hmmm ... Self-destruction. The path is clear. Loyal support for everything the president wants to do. Forward!
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-05-06 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-05-06 Pub. Date: 2017-05-06
Image Number: 157980
Caption: FBI Director James Comey's Passion. I can't tell you how much I struggled. To tell or to conceal? I struggled, I strained, I feel on my knees and prayed! My conscience was racked with pain, my soul raged … Never before has a man faced such a world-shaking decision ... excuse me ... (Sob!) (Snort!) Where was I? Oh, yes ... my soul ... did I tell you about my soul?
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-31 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-31 Pub. Date: 2017-03-31
Image Number: 156458
Caption: Ivanka On The Job. Look! My new office … Right down the hall from daddy's. I can get some ideas about how to get more votes from women! Daddy's Li'l Girl. Ivanka. I can't wait to try out some ideas on that nice Mr. Bannon! He's so smart! Let's see … something for women ... Ivantalot. I'm surrounded by idiots ... Oooh ... Free panty hose for all women ... Ivantabankalot. Idiot number one ... Well, well, hard at work I see ... Yup! And listen to this idea, Steve ... Ivantabank.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-14 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-14 Pub. Date: 2017-03-14
Image Number: 155877
Caption: Agent Kellyanne Conway Shows How Your Microwave Can Spy on You. Obama voters, no doubt … Mom! Pop corn.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-11-22 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-11-22 Pub. Date: 2016-11-22
Image Number: 151489
Caption: Ivanka and Jared Kushner, Adviser to Presidents. Look, darling, the last print issue of the New York Observer, your newspaper you paid ten million dollars for. Ha-ha! I'd love to see it, but I must go advise the president on how to manage the economy. NY Observer. Fail ... Gov't for Dummies. The Art of the Deal.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-28 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-28 Pub. Date: 2016-10-28
Image Number: 150423
Caption: Pentagon Demands Signing Bonuses Back From Soldiers After they Return From War Zone. Well, yes, it was our mistake. But think how much more patriotic you look to the folks back home. Pento.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-06 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-06 Pub. Date: 2016-10-06
Image Number: 149594
Caption: Mrs. May Explains How Brexit Will Work. England expects every man will do his duty! Well, I was going to take the wife for a holiday in France. She can meet you there, then!
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-04 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-04 Pub. Date: 2016-10-04
Image Number: 149537
Caption: Soldiers' Pay. Hey … if Donald Trump doesn't have to pay taxes, how come I have to? 'Cause you're not a genius.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-27 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-27 Pub. Date: 2016-09-27
Image Number: 149200
Caption: Hey! How About a Career in Politics? Let's Ask Kellyanne Conway. Good lord, Kellyanne … why don't you get a better job? What? Get out of show biz? Caution.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-18 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-18 Pub. Date: 2016-09-18
Image Number: 148944
Caption: Dd. Ef. Ff. Gg. Hh. Ii. Kk. Obama not born in US. Trump Staff. Actually Hillary said that. How could she do such a thing?
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-10 how 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-10 Pub. Date: 2016-09-10
Image Number: 148657
Caption: How American Youth Changes Over the Summer. Early in summer we are embarrassed by fatness and whiteness from a winter of eating frozen pizza. May 25. Then we get over our self-consciousness. June 15. And get active in summer fun. July 15. We do some summer work. July 30. We get some summer sun. August 15. We play some summer games. And finally ... September 1. We are tanned, slender, and got muscles everywhere. Just in time for six more months of frozen pizza. Pizza.
     
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