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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-14 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-14 Pub. Date: 2017-09-14
Image Number: 162841
Caption: Mr. Bannon Instructs the Republicans. Why do we keep buying him drinks? We're hoping he'll pass out … Oh yeah, and the Chinese are coming, and no real American is safe. DACA is an evil plot and Hillary controls the flying monkeys. Hey! You listenin' to me?
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-08-20 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-08-20 Pub. Date: 2017-08-20
Image Number: 161959
Caption: Mr. Bannon Plans. Tomorrow is a new day! I come out guns blazin'. No more White House losers! I'm on fire! Hey! You listenin'? I'm gonna blow up the whole Republican party! Bam! I'm destroyin' the stupid Senate. I'll dynamite the House of Representatives! That'll show 'em! Then I'll take over the whole country! Just me! Running everything! Pow! Hey! You listenin'? Why doesn't anyone listen to me? You wanna drink?
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-08-04 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-08-04 Pub. Date: 2017-08-04
Image Number: 161276
Caption: Trump Advises (Jokes) that Police Should be Rough with Suspects. Well, don't be too rough … Right, he might not be guilty. Hey … heard any good jokes? Police.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-13 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-13 Pub. Date: 2017-04-13
Image Number: 157172
Caption: NATO No Longer Obsolete. Obsolete? This fine vehicle? Who told you that? Some cheap politician? Don's Used Cars. Hey! Your credit stinks? So does mine. Cream puff! Money talks, nobody walks. 1993 NATO. No longer obsolete. Amazing.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-08 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-08 Pub. Date: 2017-04-08
Image Number: 156903
Caption: Jared Kushner in Charge of Lots of Stuff. War. Hey, it's gonna be great working with you, Jarry … benefitting from your wealth of experience. And you went to Harvard. Well, well … Say, my old friend went to Harvard. Ever know him? Henry Kissinger? Mom. H.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-27 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-27 Pub. Date: 2017-02-27
Image Number: 155230
Caption: Did Reince Priebus Try to Secretly Influence FBI Chief Comey? Hey … um … about that Russian investigation … Psst! Ixnay the Ussiaray Robepay … Whoopee! For you … extra sauce! Out! Well, the boss ain't gonna like this.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-10 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-10 Pub. Date: 2017-01-10
Image Number: 153292
Caption: Julian Assange Calls. Julian! Buddy! My man! You still in the Ecuadorian embassy? Hey! Do you a favor? Just name it! Can I talk to the prime minister to get you out of there? You bet. Not a problem, pal. Done! For you, anything! You just pack up your stuff and walk out the front door. And if anyone tries to stop you, punch 'em in the face. I guarantee it. What are friends for? Attention! Julian Assange escapes! May be armed and dangerous. Shoot on sight. Yes. What are friends for?
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-04 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-04 Pub. Date: 2016-10-04
Image Number: 149537
Caption: Soldiers' Pay. Hey … if Donald Trump doesn't have to pay taxes, how come I have to? 'Cause you're not a genius.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-01 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-01 Pub. Date: 2016-10-01
Image Number: 149472
Caption: Hey! Look! One of the Trump Boys in Uniform! (Knock! Knock!) Junior! The fuhrer, I mean dad, wants you! Acme Costume Co. Realistic.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-27 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-27 Pub. Date: 2016-09-27
Image Number: 149200
Caption: Hey! How About a Career in Politics? Let's Ask Kellyanne Conway. Good lord, Kellyanne … why don't you get a better job? What? Get out of show biz? Caution.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-20 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-20 Pub. Date: 2016-09-20
Image Number: 148946
Caption: Sean Hannity with the Latest. My God! This is news! Ladies and Gentlemen, Barack Obama actually was born in this country! Look, even Donald Trump says so now. Trump News Service. I lied. So what? Hey! We're Fox. He decides, we report.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-23 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-23 Pub. Date: 2016-08-23
Image Number: 147843
Caption: Future Co-Pilots. Can you push the "bombs away" button? Well, of course Hey it's better than sex. Cpt. Putin.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-11 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-11 Pub. Date: 2016-08-11
Image Number: 147372
Caption: Good News! Marco Rubio I Back in the Game! Hey! Good news! I am back in the game! I am running again for the Senate from Florida! I know I said I was through with politics, but, holy frijoles, the country needs me. Li'l Marco. So if Trump gets the boot, I'll be ready to step in with the leadership we need. Oh boy, I can sense how relieved you are. And another thing ... (glug!) if they dump Pence ...
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-08 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147284
Caption: A-Rod Leaves the Yankees. Hey, can a couple of you guys help me get this out to my car? Could I get a little cooperation? A little teamwork? Hmmm? Anybody else? Good-bye party for A-Rod. Please sign if you intend to go.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-26 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-26 Pub. Date: 2016-07-26
Image Number: 146661
Caption: Hey Kids! How about a Career in Politics! Like Debbie Wasserman Schultz!! Young Debbie. Non-stop - Florida. Recent photo. Next bus any minute. I (heart) politics.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-06-30 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-06-30 Pub. Date: 2016-06-30
Image Number: 146013
Caption: Regular Republican waiting for Donald Trump to pivot into a more presidential mode. Hey! Tugboat! Yeah, you! Can we get some freakin' food here? What is this? A freakin' fat camp? And I want some classier waitresses. Like some with really great boobalulus, ya know? Like some bodacious tatas, cause that's what I like. But don't touch me.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-04-26 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-04-26 Pub. Date: 2016-04-26
Image Number: 142607
Caption: Sexual Straightening in North Carolina. Hey! Hey there, young feller! I seen ya'll staring at that there young man's gluteal protuberances. This here is North Carolina. You wanna think impure thoughts, you do it about women. That's the law, son Welcome. Now git.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-01-04 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-01-04 Pub. Date: 2016-01-04
Image Number: 137525
Caption: Bill Is Back. Hey! I'm back! Didja miss me? Um yes and I never thought I would. Hey! It's me. The big dog! I'm back! Whoopee! Parrrteee!
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-11-29 hey 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-11-29 Pub. Date: 2015-11-29
Image Number: 136061
Caption: Trump Says He Would Never Mock Anyone. So here's this guy, this reporter, and he's all like this! Ha! Ha! Here's a fat guy, watch with this pillow! Ha! Ha! Ha! Trump Hotel. Here's a blind guy! Ha! Ha! He can't see! Where am I? Hey, help! Ha! Ha! And here's this Mexican guy! Ha! Ha! Ha! Gimmie some tacos! Mamacita! Maana! Ha! Ha! Bueno joke-o! Hola! And look, a Jewish guy! Air is free! Lookit my schnoz! Ha! Ha! Ok, now everyone apologize to me!
     
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