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Rudy Park

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41. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-23 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-23 Pub. Date: 2017-06-23
Image Number: 159404
Caption: Where's my nephew, Rudy? Haven't seen him in weeks. He just texted me a minute ago. He said "the elf army let us go. I ran into my old buddy. Russian contact arranged boat to motherland … Please feed all my Sims." If that's not his idea of guy-code for "don't bother me, I'm getting lucky," he's probably had a stroke or something. Oh no, then it had to be a stroke!
     
42. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-12 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-12 Pub. Date: 2017-06-12
Image Number: 159163
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? What's up? Let's say you're delivering your usual enormous campaign contributions to the members of the city zoning board to ensure no potential competitors can open a café within 50 miles of our own. And let's say you realize you've fallen madly in love with one of the cronies you're bribing. Does it violate any sort of guy code to pursue a romance with you own crony? Very long talk ahead.
     
43. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-08 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-08 Pub. Date: 2017-06-08
Image Number: 158834
Caption: Sir, we're not going to be flying over the North Pole. But isn't that the fastest way to Russia? Yes, but as you may know, the North Pole is a totalitarian dictatorship embroiled in a bloody civil war between state forces and elfin rebels. I don't follow the news. Anyway, my ticket says we transfer to a connecting flight there. Didn't you guys already know about this war? That's not why we're avoiding it. Santa International just melted. @#$% global warming.
     
44. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-05 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-05 Pub. Date: 2017-06-05
Image Number: 158831
Caption: To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check on him ... Tap tap tap. Um ... that wasn't Ken. That as me. That great guy who could always take a joke ... Tap tap tap tap.
     
45. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-01 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158615
Caption: You've reached Randy, the Dating Doctor. What ails you? I'm friends with this girl … She's all I can think about. I treat her way better than the guys she dates, but she doesn't even know I'm alive. Of course she knows you're alive. You're the potted houseplant in the corner of her life. Do you understand what I'm telling you? That it's only a matter of time til it's my turn? You're more like a Venus Flytrap.
     
46. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-29 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-29 Pub. Date: 2017-05-29
Image Number: 158612
Caption: Sir, please stow your personal electronics. How come he gets to keep his out? Who? That guy over there, with the stylus and the analog tablet. "Stylus and … analog tablet"? You mean "pen and paper"? You say "tomato," I say "disposable power cell for smartphone operators."
     
47. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-07 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157127
Caption: I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... my phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
48. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-06 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-06 Pub. Date: 2017-05-06
Image Number: 157563
Caption: Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in word or in deed?
     
49. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-30 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156856
Caption: Sadie, I just saw that the "great flood" myths are based on reality. You "saw"? On Youtube. It was a video called "The Advanced Pre Ice Age Civilizations that Vanished from Earth." The guy pointed out that the last ice age ended 12,000-ish years ago. And when it ended, huge ice caps that were two miles deep melted and flooded much of the world. And then he laid out a bunch of other evidence having to do with maps and artifacts and something or other. "Something or other"? Well, yeah, at around the 12:57 mark, I sort of tuned out. I've gotten used to taking in information in 9-minute video increments ... 10 max. So this was a personal record. I'm pretty proud of it. You're deliberately trying to push my buttons. I think I'll start watching nine minutes of "Roots" every week till I'm done.
     
50. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-21 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157028
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been dating this man for 17 years. How do I get him to pop the big question? Which "big question" is that? "Hey, how come I'm not getting any lovin'?" … or "Hey, where are you going with all your luggage?" ... or "Hey, who's that guy and why are you riding him piggyback and kissing on his neck like that?" Get a clue, lady, he doesn't want you. Move on. Maybe I should give him more time.
     
51. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-24 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154817
Caption: Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making role, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.
     
52. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-16 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154553
Caption: You know, replacing Rudy with a robot isn't going to go over well with us customers. Why not? Some customers come in just to see what he'll say next. Some come in 'cause he makes them feel better about themselves. And some of us come in because we actually like the little guy. Well you'll all be happy to hear I'm not replacing him. That was just a scurrilous rumor. Something's different about you. Exterminate!
     
53. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-10 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-10 Pub. Date: 2017-02-10
Image Number: 154259
Caption: You're a hard man to read, Randy. At times, you seem like a cad. A Don Juan. A scoundrel. But at other times, you seem wise. Mature. Supportive. Ladies are most responsive to a "bad guy" to "good guy" ratio of 7 to 6.3756892. My findings have been published in the Oxford Journal of Lovin'.
     
54. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-07 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-07 Pub. Date: 2017-02-07
Image Number: 154256
Caption: It's fine to hate Congress, little buddy, but you have to have a reason. The ladies dig a guy who has reasons. Well … they won't fix that pothole in that street I never use. That got fixed last year. Then they're pouring my tax dollars into holes! What a waste! Keep trying.
     
55. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-02 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-02 Pub. Date: 2017-01-02
Image Number: 152861
Caption: Rudy, would you mind ordering your uncle his usual oatmeal? Why can't you just order it? Because I don't want to be stereotyped as the old guy who always orders oatmeal. In my day, I ate a wide variety of foods. Every day it was something new and adventurous. It's not fair that I be judged only on what I eat in my golden years. You order the oatmeal, I'll order the Cream of Wheat, and we'll switch when no one's looking. Too adventurous for me.
     
56. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-08 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-08 Pub. Date: 2016-12-08
Image Number: 151822
Caption: I found the most amazing Youtube show. It's about an angel who helps people. Oh yeah? Yeah. And he drives around with some burly guy with a big beard. They wear '80s clothes and don't have any special effects. It's a perfect period show. Wait … are you talking about "Highway to Heaven"? That's not a period show, that was made in the '80s. Even you have to know that. Thanks for ruining it for me.
     
57. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-05 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-05 Pub. Date: 2016-12-05
Image Number: 151819
Caption: Donald Trump's brilliant. Every time horrible news about him breaks, he distracts us will all the tweets. Like when he appointed a guy who wants to privatize Medicare. He distracted us all by tweeting that people who burn flags should lose their citizenship. That did seem to come out of nowhere. People barely ever burn flags these days. HOJ. Whenever he tweets, we'd be wise to check the back page of the newspaper. What's a "newspaper"?
     
58. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-16 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-16 Pub. Date: 2016-11-16
Image Number: 151038
Caption: I've always been the good, law-abiding, non-threatening guy. And that's gotten old. Maybe it's time for me to be an outlaw. Maybe it's time to grow big mutton chops and long hair, let my skin get all grizzled and leathery, and ride a Harley into infamy. You can't just change your persona like you change your underwear. Say that to my mutton chops, you punkish ... punk.
     
59. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-24 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-24 Pub. Date: 2016-09-24
Image Number: 148784
Caption: Last night some people brought a screaming baby to the movie theater. My date spent the whole time complaining about that. I saw the guy in front of us texting someone to complain about how my date wouldn't stop talking during the film. Then someone complained to the usher about the guy texting. Most perfect hat-trick of grousing I've ever seen. I wonder what that baby was complaining about.
     
60. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-20 guy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-20 Pub. Date: 2016-09-20
Image Number: 148780
Caption: The economy's been recovering for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy … which means we still have time to get in on the despair action. "Despair action"? We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more "sale" items, debt consolidation loans ... Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -
     
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