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Rudy Park

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161. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-06 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-06 Pub. Date: 2014-11-06
Image Number: 118566
Caption: I don’t know, man, I think you've taken it a little too far, divvying people up like this. Nonsense. It's a delicate balance. A little depression is good for business. Stimulates the sale of comfort foods. But too much depression, and half of my patrons won't even get out of bed, let alone buy anything. What do you mean "stop"? All I said to that democrat was "nanny-nanny-boo-boo." Yes, but you're in the non-gloating section.
     
162. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-18 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-18 Pub. Date: 2014-10-18
Image Number: 117702
Caption: I'm not going to vote because there aren't any televised debates. What? Debates are pretty much the only good thing about election season. You get to watch the politicians hate each other in person. And you get to watch the panic in their eyes when they mess up an answer and realize they've just ruined their entire political career. If they're not gonna bother entertaining me, why should I bother giving them my vote? I love casting ballots. Any opportunity to flex is worthwhile.
     
163. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-29 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-29 Pub. Date: 2014-09-29
Image Number: 117138
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote? Wink wink wink. … And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend, Patsy Marionette, for city council? Wink wink wink. I would never ORDER you to DONATE to Patsy's campaign fund either, as if your job depended on it. Wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink. That's good to know. I believe we're on the same page here. Wink.
     
164. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-12 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-12 Pub. Date: 2014-09-12
Image Number: 116262
Caption: Did you hear Sadie's show today. DID I. My favorite part was when she made that construction worker who called in cry. She's a rare talent. It's amazing how she can peel grown men and women like an onion, find what makes them tick and squash it like a bug. Is she still around? Smile and assume she is, if you know what's good for you. Sadie sure topped herself today.
     
165. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-04 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-04 Pub. Date: 2014-08-04
Image Number: 114698
Caption: Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.
     
166. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-04 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-04 Pub. Date: 2014-07-04
Image Number: 113255
Caption: I want to know there's something valuable about me that won't ever pale in comparison to someone else. Really? That's the kind of desire that makes a lot of people turn to religion. Do Not Disturb. … Y'know, so they can feel like they have some unique role to play in some grand machine. Sounds good. Which religion is the best. I like commercianity. It has lots of games and movies and stuff.
     
167. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-15 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-15 Pub. Date: 2014-06-15
Image Number: 111864
Caption: I'll have a coffee. One coffee coming up. No wait! Make that one mocha. Mocha. Ok. No wait! Make that a jasmine tea. Ok. No wait! I can't decide. Why don’t you choose for me? You work here. You know the menu intimately. I'm sure you've tried it all, so your opinion is very important. The iced vanilla latte is pretty good. I'm not sure I'm even thirsty. Give me a fish sandwich. No wait ...
     
168. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-29 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-29 Pub. Date: 2014-05-29
Image Number: 111861
Caption: Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.
     
169. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-12 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-12 Pub. Date: 2014-05-12
Image Number: 111304
Caption: Farewell, coffee man. I've decided to stop spending $120 per month on fancy coffee. Ok. If I save that money instead, I'll have nearly $26,000 to pay for my newborn's college education. I see, well, I can't argue wi. Good point. My kid can't even say his own name, he's not college material. I'll have the Himalayan Mocha. Might want to save up for your child's therapy.
     
170. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-23 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-23 Pub. Date: 2014-03-23
Image Number: 108952
Caption: I will never vote for Hillary Clinton for President. Huh? Why not? Because "see a woman elected President" is right there on the list, just under "see a black person elected President." … And just above "torment a young good-for-nothing slacker for years until he sons like a baby." What're you talking about? My bucket list. As long as there are still items on it, I have reasons to keep on living. Can you help me Photoshop an image of Hillary choking an endangered polar bear by feeding it a baby? I would need it uploaded to the interwebs before 2016. Is this why you keep tickling me after you insult me? I'll be immortal if it's the last thing I do.
     
171. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-22 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-22 Pub. Date: 2014-03-22
Image Number: 108951
Caption: There's an old-school barbecue guy in "House of Cards" who always has a plate ready for the main character. … And the main character's evil. Look, I'm sorry I don’t remember your "usual order." It doesn't pay to be good.
     
172. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-02 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-02 Pub. Date: 2014-03-02
Image Number: 107549
Caption: Rudy, do you think you're ready to take on more responsibility here at the café? What do you mean, boss? I'm just making contingency plans. I'd like to know the café's in good hands if something happens to me. Like what? Oh, the usual … the flu, or a car accident, or exhaustion, or I get stuck out of town ... ... Or I go up on a 20-year bid for bribing federal regulators into declaring the cafe an independent nation for tax purposes. ... Hypothetically speaking. Are you sure it's just hypothetical? Why do you ask? Are you wearing a wire? The sovereign of Ferenginar commands you to lift your shirt. I'm not wearing a wire!!!
     
173. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-25 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-25 Pub. Date: 2014-02-25
Image Number: 108050
Caption: Hey, Randy. It's Rudy. I'm on a date … Hey, you're not driving are you? I'm not the guy you can call to keep you awake while you're driving. Just pull over. No I'm good. I can make it. Just tell me a story or a joke of some … zzZzz. Once upon a time, Randy hung up on you.
     
174. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-21 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-21 Pub. Date: 2014-02-21
Image Number: 107785
Caption: You're always chastising Rudy for using the web, yet here you are. How do you explain yourself? Something magical happened. I saw a small child break into tears at this computer and run away. I came to see what happened. That's when I discovered it. The comments section beneath a news article. A wonderland of mockery, bitterness and good old-fashioned blood feuds. Is that Sadie hugging that computer? Let's talk about something else.
     
175. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-02-07 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-02-07 Pub. Date: 2014-02-07
Image Number: 107188
Caption: You're a hard man to read, Randy. At times, you seem like a cad. A Don Juan. A scoundrel. But at other time, you seem wise. Mature. Supportive. Ladies are most responsive to a "bad guy" to "good guy" ratio of 7 to 6.3756892. My findings have been published in the Oxford Journal of Lovin'.
     
176. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-26 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-26 Pub. Date: 2014-01-26
Image Number: 106962
Caption: Rudy, I'd like to apologize. For what, Uncle Mort? I'd like to say I'm sorry for leaving you a world full of hatred and war. I'd like to say I'm sorry for leaving you polluted skies and rivers. On behalf of my generation, I'd like to apologize for leaving you with such a mess ... BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY MY PARENTS' FAULT!!! That speech has been handed down through seven generations of our family. Take good care of it ... Someday, you'll give it to your own nephew. I usually like less sarcasm with my cereal.
     
177. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-18 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-18 Pub. Date: 2014-01-18
Image Number: 106948
Caption: It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.
     
178. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-16 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-16 Pub. Date: 2014-01-16
Image Number: 106946
Caption: Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Well, first of all, he can't find anything, ever. I have to find the man's socks, his toothbrush … And he'll tell me he's hungry in the morning. Then he'll go to the other room, and in the evening he comes back and tells me he's starving. It's like as soon as we got married, the man became so stupid he can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker. No, I said tell me his good points. Those are his good points. Foul!
     
179. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-01-05 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-01-05 Pub. Date: 2014-01-05
Image Number: 106935
Caption: One latte? That'll be $4.50. That apple fritter sounds good. I'll have that too. Ok. Anything else? No, that's it. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. That's all. That'll be $9.00 even. Ooh, are those macaroons fresh? I'll have a macaroon too. One latte, one apple fritter and one macaroon, and that's it. Well what are you waiting for? I don't have all day.
     
180. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2013-12-18 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2013-12-18 Pub. Date: 2013-12-18
Image Number: 106918
Caption: Holiday Poem Week. I met a girl I like quite a bit. But we can all hang together. I assure you not to worry a whit: my affection for you is not fair weather. Okay, we good? I give you my vow! Please don't go acting all like Hal. You're scaring me with that look right now. You messed with the wrong iPhone pal. More good cheer tomorrow!
     
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