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Rudy Park

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101. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-28 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-28 Pub. Date: 2016-04-28
Image Number: 142430
Caption: I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie. It just sounds horrible. It takes all the best parts of it: Seeing someone for the first time … blushing at the thought of holding her hand … Working up the courage to approach her … seeing her pretend to answer her phone and talk so you won't say hello ... Maybe the technology would be good for some people ... taking five years to work up the courage to approach someone new ...
     
102. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-26 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-26 Pub. Date: 2016-04-26
Image Number: 142428
Caption: I heard your band's latest album the other day, little buddy. Thanks. I mean … "Oh. Ok." … I mean, "I'm glad." … I mean, "All right." You can't just say you "heard" something, you have to say whether you liked it or not! … I mean, "That's good." I noticed your haircut.
     
103. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-21 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-21 Pub. Date: 2016-04-21
Image Number: 142133
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 4am, minion. I'm hoping it's good news, boss. I notice you haven't supported the café on Kickstarter yet. I work here. You're supposed to pay me, not the other way around. I saw something interesting on YouTube the other day: A robot that walks, performs manual labor, never complains, never sleeps, never calls in sick ... Kickstarter accepts all major forms of payment. Very bad man.
     
104. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-17 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-17 Pub. Date: 2016-04-17
Image Number: 141249
Caption: What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.
     
105. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-05 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-05 Pub. Date: 2016-04-05
Image Number: 141526
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Movie critics. "Batman V Superman" was a good film. But the critics tore it apart. A lot of the criticism was petty. Like this one critic who said "Henry Cavill is the sexiest log to ever star in a movie. And Zack Snyder isn't fit to direct traffic." Hey ... I call it like I see it. Did you see it? That's beside the point.
     
106. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-28 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-28 Pub. Date: 2016-03-28
Image Number: 141145
Caption: "Batman V Superman" was amazing. Not good. Not great. It. Was. A … may … ZING! It's so amazing, I spent all weekend rewriting history. I found all my old posts about Zack Snyder's Superman being the worst thing ever, and replaced all the negative words with the word "amazing." What an amazing thing to amazing your weekend on, you amazing amazing-head. It's important to retroactively be on the right side of history.
     
107. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-20 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 139970
Caption: What can I get you? I'll have a mocha, a scone, and an explanation of Beyonce's "Formation" video. Ok. Would you like that for here or to go? Here would be good. Ok. Last month, Beyonce released a music video that expressed pride in her black heritage. Pride in black culture, pride in black physical features, pride even in the Black Panther movement. The reason this is ok is, for centuries, mainstream culture has been telling black people to be ashamed of all that. They've been told to straighten their hair, talk differently, and even lighten their skin if they want to look "professional." When the world tells you to be ashamed of who you are, it's ok to say "No, I'm proud of it." That'll be $14.95. Can I also get a side of explaining why it's important that scientists finally discovered gravity waves?
     
108. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-16 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-16 Pub. Date: 2016-03-16
Image Number: 140523
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming an architect, now that you don't have to know math. You don't? I read an architect's blog. He debunked the "good at math" myth. He said he never went past algebra 2 and doesn't really need to know any more than his 5th grade kid does. I think I'll go in on the ground floor. Maybe design suspension bridges before working my way up to skyscrapers. HOJ. I am never driving or going inside a building again in life. If I need to find the hypotenuse of a bridge thingy, there's probably an app for that.
     
109. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-24 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-24 Pub. Date: 2016-02-24
Image Number: 139580
Caption: I wonder who the next Supreme Court justice will be. Well, the president has a habit of disappointing liberals, so we can be sure of one thing … It won't be a radical Socialist ideologue who'll swing the court back to the left. Are you sure? I have it on good authority. How can you just sit there slurping coffee while the president isn't returning my calls?!
     
110. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-23 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139579
Caption: How many people do you think will mourn for you when you're dead, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I live out loud. I've ridden a motorcycle across five continents, making countless friends along the way. I've conducted passionate love affairs in six languages, and taught the ancient art of seduction to sold-out crowds in two hemispheres. As a youth I delivered pizza to lonely housewives, for whom I host an annual reunion in Vegas. A man who lives his life out loud will leave thousands of mourners when he dies. What about a man who lives his life on mute?
     
111. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-21 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-21 Pub. Date: 2016-02-21
Image Number: 138713
Caption: Rudy, I'd like you to broaden your skill-set. What for, boss? You have a real flair for making coffee. House of Java Cybercafe. But the era of the specialist is over. These days, workers must be able to perform the duties of several people. A lot of political cartoonists are now expected to also draw bar graphs and write articles covering the local car wash openings. I fired my long-time dentist so I could hire one who'd agree to also paint my bathroom. Workers specializing in just one thing is a historical aberration, anyway. For most of human history, people had to catch their own food, make their own clothes, dig their own graves ... and give offerings to their overlords. How good are you at painting bathrooms and performing root canals? How hard can that be? I'll go see if there's a root canal on Youtube.
     
112. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-26 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-26 Pub. Date: 2015-12-26
Image Number: 136907
Caption: Well, another year is coming to a close. I'd like to thank you for a job well done, nemesis. I just serve coffee. Yes, but you do it so poorly, as if you have the coordination of a two-year-old. And every word out of your mouth is vapid and narcissistic. Day in and day out, you have provided me with a slovenly example of youth that makes me feel very, very good to be old. So ... good job. That you for being you, loser! I love being important.
     
113. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-24 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-24 Pub. Date: 2015-12-24
Image Number: 136905
Caption: Akron, OH, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great great grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept plowing.
     
114. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-19 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-19 Pub. Date: 2015-12-19
Image Number: 136618
Caption: Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie "studio fees" for operating her radio show in the café? Well, I've got good news and bad news. What's the good? She's agreed not to resort to violence. I see. And the bad news? On today's "Sadie Cohen Radio Show": Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers.
     
115. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-17 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-17 Pub. Date: 2015-12-17
Image Number: 136616
Caption: Tomorrow's the day. I've been waiting in line for "Star Wars" for two months now. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? Well, it's not exactly me. It's a kid I paid, he's holding my spot. Wait … please tell me you didn't pay a kid to not go home for two months. It doesn't sound so good the way you say it.
     
116. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-12 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-12 Pub. Date: 2015-12-12
Image Number: 136284
Caption: Play the last presidential debate. Playing … Hold on … first take out all the lies and stuff. Processing … Ok, ready. Playing … Hello, and welcome to the presidential primary debate. Thank you for joining us. … Thank you again for joining us for that debate. Good night. Wait ... what just happened? I obeyed your command.
     
117. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-09 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-09 Pub. Date: 2015-12-09
Image Number: 136281
Caption: Hi, this is Jeb Bush. Who? I'm just calling to remind you I'm still running for president. Oh. Ok, now. You have a good time. I'm also calling to remind you I'm available for speaking engagements at your large rally, small rally, bar mitzvah, or assorted car wash openings. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Would you like me to speak at your function? Oh no, that's all right. Don't worry about it.
     
118. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-07 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-07 Pub. Date: 2015-12-07
Image Number: 136279
Caption: What's wrong, little buddy? Some stupid kid called me "old." I'm young! I've been young all my life! I'm good at it. I know all about being young. I've been young since way before he was even born. He's just jealous that I'm more experienced at it than he is. Might be time for us to have a little talk.
     
119. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-22 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-22 Pub. Date: 2015-11-22
Image Number: 134803
Caption: Good morning, Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you. I like licorice. It's time for your annual performance review. In short, you've done very well this year. Thank you, boss. You're friendly, punctual, and well-groomed. You follow direction acceptably, you've shown initiative, and you brew a fine cup of coffee. Those are the pluses. There's only one negative, really. Only 1.3 percent of your social media posts and comments have been about me or the cafe, and of those only 94% have been positive. An overwhelming 6% have been neutral. The only thing keeping me from firing you is, 0% have been negative. Just thought of a negative. I'm also not thrilled about that cute kitten you re-tweeted in February. I'm more of a piranha man.
     
120. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-21 good 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-21 Pub. Date: 2015-11-21
Image Number: 135393
Caption: I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest. Very good, little buddy. I see you've read chapter 7 of "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper. I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed.
     
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