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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-04-07 good book 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-04-08 Pub. Date: 2014-04-07
Image Number: 109990
Caption: Get Your Words' Worth. John Roberts on campaign finance: The government may no more restrict how many candidates a donor may support than it may tell a newspaper how many candidates it may endorse. Like, duh! So, dollars are equivalent to words, which makes exactly as much sense in reverse. That'll be three pronouns, please. As the owner of a large book collection worth billions of words, would you consider donating some to my campaign? Vote me. Of course, Roberts isn't very good at recognizing absurdity. I'm just saying money talks, so it's not corrupting. What's so hard to understand here?
     
2. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-12-13 good book 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-12-13 Pub. Date: 2010-12-13
Image Number: 89601
Caption: Slowpoke. Mr. & Mrs. Perkins go gift shopping 2010. This year, the Perkinses skip the mall. I hope Auntie Perkins likes her Englebert Humperdinck retrospective. So what CDs would you like? Oh, don't bother. I can stream them online for next to nothing! Maybe a subscription to Modern Dandy magazine? I just read their website for free. That's good enough! How about a recipe book? I Google recipes now. A calendar? I use the one on my phone. Sigh ... a puppy? That reminds me - It's time to feed my virtual Shih Tzu!
     
3. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-03-16 good book 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-03-16 Pub. Date: 2009-03-16
Image Number: 91007
Caption: Slowpoke. Madoff and Stanford must have been HIGH to ever get caught by those government goons! But they'll never catch me, the greatest swindler of all! MWA HA HA! BZZT! The SEC investigator is here! Send him in! Perkins Capital Partners. Sorry to disturb you, sir! Just need to check your books, you know. But of course! Let me tell you about our biggest fund - "Perkins' Own" New Zeniths Investments! Cool name! You'll see it has an innovative cash flow structure. Oh, yes indeed. Very symmetrical! You might also be interested in another fund of ours, the NIGERIAN PRINCESS INHERITANCE INDEX ... No need! I trust you! Good day! MWA HA HA! What was that? Oh, nothing.
     
4. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2005-01-01 good book 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2005-01-01 Pub. Date: 2005-01-01
Image Number: 92670
Caption: Slowpoke. Leave Your Child Behind. Hey, parents! Are you concerned that your child will grow up to be an intellectual elite? "Then urge your school district to adopt the Leave Your Child Behind curriculum! There's no fancy book-learning … Except for literal reading of the Good Book." NASA research proves that the sun really stood still in the sky!* *Actual lesson being taught in 300+ school districts. "High-falutin' critical thinking is discouraged, as students are told everything they need to know. European settlers in America liberated the Indians! But I heard ... You heard WRONG! 3x4=34. "We've also retooled the traditional grading system." Oh no! I got an "Arrogant!" I got a Freedom-plus!" "In the end, all of our graduates receive social DUH-grees!" Congratulations, young lady! Aren't you glad you decided against that career in science? Duhhhh ... Enroll your child today ... Because freedumb is on the march! Duh ... Duh ... Duh ... Duh ...
     
5. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2003-01-01 good book 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2003-01-01 Pub. Date: 2003-01-01
Image Number: 92655
Caption: Slowpoke. Crox News. Good evening, and welcome to Punditspew. I'm your host Foxy Chromelock. With me tonight is Democratic Congressman Dan Doormat, and Chairman of the Archaic Values Coalition Mr. Perkins. Hello. LIBERALS DIE! Gentlemen, let's begin with your thoughts on the economy. Well, it seems to me that it could be better ... Liberals are cloven-hoofed, piglet-sodomizing hellserpents in the great dragon's army of darkness. DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! Very interesting point, Mr. Perkins. Now Senator Doormat, What are you feelings on the situation in Iraq? Well, when I voted for the war, I didn't realize it would be so messy. As terrorist-fellating, grandmother-impaling spawn of Satan, the LIBERALS would plunge America into the stygian abyss of the DAMNED! Well put, Mr. Perkins. I understand you have a new book out, by the way. Yes, it's called SLANDERIOUS, TREASONOUS BETRAYAL. It's about Liberals. Um ... That's all the time we have. Stay tuned to Crox News, the "Just and Evenhanded" network! Crox News.
     
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