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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-15 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-15 Pub. Date: 2017-12-15
Image Number: 166005
Caption: Ok, I'll go with you to see "Star Wars." But I'm not dressing up as Princess Leia this time. Too painful. I don't want to go to the ladies room, catch a glimpse of my Leia hairbuns, and start crying. I know exactly how you feel. I'm not dressing as Han Solo this time, either. Harrison Ford is still alive. Han Solo wasn't a real person, Lemont. It's not the same. Yeah, but Carrie Fisher's the one I'll see onscreen. In a way, she's still alive too.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-14 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-14 Pub. Date: 2017-12-14
Image Number: 166004
Caption: Tyrone, I think the key to being happy is to consider oneself part of a play written by another. Oh, I do. I once glanced offstage, Rosencrantz. There, in the shadows cast by the red velvet curtains, lurked a little weasel of a man, frantically muttering and scribbling upon a tattered notepad. He was the writer, Rosencrantz. And he was making it all up as he went along. As I said, the key to being happy is to never glance offstage. I looked again years later, and he was asleep. Spare change?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-13 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-13 Pub. Date: 2017-11-13
Image Number: 164870
Caption: The ultra right wing's frantic warnings saved this country from an ANTIFA apocalypse back on November 4th. (Sigh) No, they didn't. ANTIFA was going to try and overthrow the Trump government by violently taking over every street corner in America. (Sigh) No. They weren't. Right. That's 'cause they must've found out we were on to them. I personally showed up with my rifles just in case they tried anything, and that's why none of them tried anything. We stopped it. You're welcome. You didn't stop anyth -- ... They were never going to overthr -- (Sigh) ... Oh, never mind. Show some respect, you're talking to a veteran of November the fourth.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-02 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-02 Pub. Date: 2017-11-02
Image Number: 164418
Caption: All this talk about "Mars" is so stupid. We should fix the planet we already have before we go somewhere else. Talk about "stupid." Going to Mars could be the only thing that'll enable us to "fix" earth, because "necessity is the mother of invention." The technologies we develop to keep a Martian colony habitable could be applied here to clean up our own environment ... Um ... I lost you at "talk about stupid," didn't I? I'm warming up to the thought of going to Mars.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-31 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-31 Pub. Date: 2017-08-31
Image Number: 162090
Caption: I got into a Twitter feud wit @joanwalsh. @davidshuster asked her and @joyannreid to apologize for using the term "alt left." I backed him up. When they and @govhowarddean used the term against progressives, they helped validate it. And that helps @realdonaldtrump neutralize the toxicity of the term "alt right" ... which makes it harder to fight white supremacy. I think I won. I'm going to give @govhowarddean a piece of my mind too. Are you @trying to @change-the-subject because you're @losing the @argument about @josswhedon's @divorce? It's just @joss. And I'm @changing-the-subject because it's @none-of-our-business.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-11 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-11 Pub. Date: 2017-08-11
Image Number: 161295
Caption: What we gotta go anywhere else for? Y'all can have your Norways an' Canadas an' Denmarks … if you need to be "happy" an' "educated" an' "health-cared" an' not shot or locked up in a private prison. All y'all soft bruthas can move if you want to, but C-Dog ain't 'fraid of hard-livin'. I'm not running away, Clyde, I just want us to measure up to every other civilized country. You want a unicorn with that, or just a pony?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-26 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-26 Pub. Date: 2017-07-26
Image Number: 160759
Caption: Wait … did you say someone is bullying my song? Yeh, but I took care of that while you was gone. I taught little bruh to man up an' overcome it exactly the way you did back when we was kids an' a bully was clownin' you. You taught him to stand toe-to-toe with the bully, look him in the eye, and deliver a stirring speech that won his respect? What? That ain't even close to what happened. Well that's how I remember it. You also 'member Sinbad playing a genie ins some '90s movie, but that ain't never happened neither. Yes it did!!!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-20 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-20 Pub. Date: 2017-07-20
Image Number: 160504
Caption: Where are you going? You didn't cheat on me. I know that now. We're ok, Vancouver. Don't "Vancouver" me, Lemont. We are not "ok." We are over. What we has was beautiful and pure. I thought you felt it too. But if you could doubt it just 'cause I had dinner with someone else ... then I was wrong about us. Goodbye, Lemont. Just kidding. I think you're cute when you're jealous, Candorville. Don't do that!!!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-24 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-24 Pub. Date: 2017-06-24
Image Number: 159393
Caption: What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-24 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-24 Pub. Date: 2017-05-24
Image Number: 158342
Caption: We don't suspect you of helping Russia blackmail the president. It's your college roommate, Rudy Park. He's the mole. Ithee. Thn hwcm imn hur? You and I go way back, Lemont. Of all the journalists I've monitored, you're by far my favorite. Mmble. Huh? I said "Untie me and let me go, you fascist, jack-booted thug!" Anyway, you've heard of "Deep Throat," right? Well ... first thing we need to do is come up with a good code name for me.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-18 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-18 Pub. Date: 2017-05-18
Image Number: 158079
Caption: I had a weird dream last night. Some blond chick showed up, and then our earth crashed into another earth. Weird, no? That's funny. I dreamt that DC Comics' "Harbinger" showed up and warned me about some huge calamity. She's blond … and when she did that in the comics, all the parallel earths ended up collapsing into one. With my luck, I'll end up like Psycho Pirate at the end of "Crisis on Infinite Earths." ... You were supposed to laugh. Never go full-geek, Lemont.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-27 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157287
Caption: Clyde, if something ever happens to me … Don’t worry, bruh. I'll take you kid an' raise him up for you. I'll teach him all he need to know about life. He'll be the baddest two-year-old on the block. Ain't nobody gonna mess with him. I'll also teach him erethang you woulda taught him: I'll make him watch Star Track an' Doctor Boo an' some @#$% like that. Long as he ain't a snitch, we'll be cool. I was just going to say "call Susan."
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-26 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-26 Pub. Date: 2017-04-26
Image Number: 157286
Caption: Tell me again why you ain't gone to the doctor 'bout your heart, Big L? I lost my health insurance. I've saved all my life for a down payment on a house, so I'll have something to leave to my son. If I go to the hospital, I'll probably lose it all and he'll inherit nothing. But I have life insurance, so if I die, he'll inherit my savings and $2 million. This country be messed up, bruh. I've recorded 18 years' worth of advice and dad-jokes for him.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-17 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157012
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her to forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-17 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155656
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A man laughed at me when I asked for help. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-24 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154805
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-21 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-21 Pub. Date: 2016-12-21
Image Number: 152371
Caption: Ok … but what actually happened when you and Vancouver saw each other again? I want details! Well, after we spent a few days making up for lost time … After we were convinced that our entire lives led us to this point and we were meant to be together ... Oh wait, my pants are vibrating. I'm getting a call. For some reason, I'm starting to sense it all went horribly wrong. Y'know, what I just said to you would've made no sense at all when we were kids.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-19 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-19 Pub. Date: 2016-12-19
Image Number: 152369
Caption: So how'd Canada go, Lemont? How'd it go when you and "Vancouver" saw each other for the first time in a year? It went horribly. When she opened the door, it was fireworks all over again. The evening was pure magic. The next few days were even better. That does sound horrible. It was as if the great author in the sky were setting me up for a soul-crushing plot twist.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-15 go up 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152113
Caption: Maybe I should just go back to America and forget about "Vancouver." If I cross this street, walk up that hill, and knock on her door … I'll ruin it for both of us. In-person romance is way different from Facebook. In person, you can't delete or edit your comments before hitting "send." You can't send perfect photos with perfect lighting and perfect angles. I would say "Stop being a punk #@$%," but we don't cuss in Canada.
     
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