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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (36 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-07 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-07 Pub. Date: 2016-12-07
Image Number: 152021
Caption: Chinese Leaders Consult Sources Trying to Figure Out What the Hell is Going On. Saturday Night Live.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-08 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-08 Pub. Date: 2016-09-08
Image Number: 148466
Caption: The Plan. So, if you're elected we are going after ISIS? We? Well, you actually. Hi, fellows! Look Out ISIS! Trump. US.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-08 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147284
Caption: A-Rod Leaves the Yankees. Hey, can a couple of you guys help me get this out to my car? Could I get a little cooperation? A little teamwork? Hmmm? Anybody else? Good-bye party for A-Rod. Please sign if you intend to go.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-17 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-17 Pub. Date: 2016-02-17
Image Number: 139491
Caption: The Military Solution. Bomb! Destroy! Wipe Out! Possible Commander-In-Chief Who goes there?
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-11-06 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-11-06 Pub. Date: 2015-11-06
Image Number: 135142
Caption: Contemplating Thanksgiving Dinner at the Bushes, Family and (?) Friends. Rinse, Jeb, Rumsfeld, Barbara, 41, 43, Uncle Dick and others ... Pie, George? Potatoes? Dick Cheney! Got out of here! I'll carve. W. Gravy, Jeb? Oh, hi. Condoleza. I'm going to be president next. It'll fun. Neil Bush ... What are you doing here?
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-23 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-23 Pub. Date: 2015-08-23
Image Number: 131738
Caption: Firefighters. Too bad Trump isn't here. He could solve our problem in a minute. It would be wonderful, fantastic, beautiful, huge. He would whine until the fire went out.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-23 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-23 Pub. Date: 2015-08-23
Image Number: 131739
Caption: Walker Says Throw Out Anchor Babies. Now watch my polls go up, just like Donald Trump's but Polls Don't Budge. Ok, forget that. Come back! Uh I love babies!
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-18 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-18 Pub. Date: 2015-05-18
Image Number: 127363
Caption: What George Bush Would Have Done If He Had Known Then What He Knew If He Knew etc. Gee, Uncle Dick, some of this intelligence might be flawed War! War! War! I mean what if we find out later that it's wrong War! War! War! This is a serious decision involving the lives of millions of people ... War! War! War! I'm gonna go ride my bike and think about other things ... War! War! War! War! War! War!
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-18 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-18 Pub. Date: 2015-05-18
Image Number: 127385
Caption: Biker Gangs Could Change the Course of the War, Except ... I was gonna volunteer to go over there to Eye-Rack and kill me a bunch of Arabs, but then I found out they ain't got no girlie bars. Whut? Ah never heerd o' sucha thang. Why that's plumb dam' unamerican! Is whut that is ....
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-11-08 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-11-08 Pub. Date: 2014-11-08
Image Number: 119500
Caption: Team Obama. Obama breaks out! He weaves through the opposition, the crowd goes wild! To the right, to the left, he's in the clear! He shoots! He scores!
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-09-09 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-09-09 Pub. Date: 2014-09-09
Image Number: 116370
Caption: Brave Little Saudi Boys. Now all you American boys must be wondering why you have to go and fight in the Mideast and save us Saudis. And wondering why we Saudis just stand around doing nothing - or hide out in Paris. Well, it's because you need the money ... and we don't. it is the will of Allah ... Inshallah! If Allah wanted us to fight ... he would have given us some guts. Not just money.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-07-31 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-07-31 Pub. Date: 2014-07-31
Image Number: 114781
Caption: In New York, the Metropolitan Opera Goes on Strike. The NLRB is Asked to Mediate. Have you been to the opera before? No. This is my first National Labor Relations Board. Unfair. Program. Make-up. Helga. Rouge. Me! Me! Me!
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-07-28 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-07-28 Pub. Date: 2014-07-28
Image Number: 114543
Caption: A Few More Ways Pope Francis Is Proving He Is a Man of the People. He's doing his own laundry. He's helping out in the kitchen with housework He even goes out for pizza in a car of the people but they won't let him do windows. No, no, no
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-08 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-06-08 Pub. Date: 2014-06-08
Image Number: 112510
Caption: Senator Graham Sez: good morning, you have reached the offices of Senator Lindsey Graham. Please select from the following menu: If you would like to hear Senator Graham's current criticism of Sergeant Bergdahl, press one. If you would like to hear Senator Graham's opinion if Sergeant Bergdahl somehow turns out to be a actual hero and not the deserter we now think he is, press two. If Sergeant Bergdahl turns out to be a actual CIA spy on a secret mission, press three. If Sergeant Bergdahl actually escaped through a hail of gunfire and gets some sort of medal, press four. If Senator Graham's pal, Senator McCain changes his mind (and Senator Graham's mind), press five. If you can't understand what is going on and the whole thing is giving you a case of the vapors, just hang up and go vote Senator Lindsey Graham, the people's friend. Thenk yew. Ah believe ah will have another.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-04-25 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-04-25 Pub. Date: 2014-04-25
Image Number: 110862
Caption: Poor Sean Hannity. The Looney Rancher He was Backing in Nevada Turned Out to be a Drooling Racist. Well, it's true! Them negroes jus' sit around on their porches doin' nuthin. Don' worry Mr. Sean, we're still with you Go away. Just go away
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-02-26 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-02-26 Pub. Date: 2014-02-26
Image Number: 108172
Caption: Military Intelligence in Afghanistan. This prisoner says we should let him go 'cause2 he's heard that we're pulling out any day now. So what have you heard?
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-01-13 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-01-13 Pub. Date: 2014-01-13
Image Number: 106379
Caption: Mr. Assad and The Syrian Rebels. Ok, now I want to see a good, clean fight. No hitting below the belt, no biting, no poison gas Now go back to your corners and come out fighting. Inshallah!
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-12-26 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-12-26 Pub. Date: 2013-12-26
Image Number: 105754
Caption: Putin. Putout. Latest polls! Every time we free another political prisoner approval of the Sochi Olympics goes up! And we have lots of political prisoners! Such wisdom! Such foresight! Such planning ahead! Indeed! They cannot out-think our Putin!
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-29 go out 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-29 Pub. Date: 2013-10-29
Image Number: 103444
Caption: Trial Starts for Murdoch Editor Rebekah Brooks. We'll make it through this, boss, remember, we've always been together through thick and thin, the good and the bad Shut up Remember how we even used to go swimming together, bonding in our dedication to really lousy newspapers, scraping the bottom of the barrel for stories ... For God's sake ... Backing the most corrupt politicians we could find, making up lies about the decent ones ... Right, then, let's go ... If I ever get out of this I am going to murder you and then kill myself. Don't worry, boss, it's going to be fine.
     
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