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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about going out of business.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (48 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-06-09 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-06-09 Pub. Date: 2019-06-09
Image Number: 178048
Caption: Idea! Uh oh, must hide wallet. People are environmentally conscious. They want products that embrace Mother Nature and respect our limited natural resources. They're tired of a throwaway culture. Coincidentally, we throw out tons of used paper coffee cups and plated, and plastic straws. To say nothing of unfinished plates of food, like muffins, fruit salad, and day-old, half-eaten omelettes. Introducing our new environmentally-conscious earth-friendly menu! Well charge a small 50% premium for allowing people to help the environment. The marketing is green, and so's our food.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-25 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-25 Pub. Date: 2018-10-25
Image Number: 174636
Caption: I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eek out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: Raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn out the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-22 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-22 Pub. Date: 2018-10-22
Image Number: 174633
Caption: I'm out of ideas. I'm tapped out. Of what? I can't think of any ways to squeeze more money out of customers. I've lost my cheapskate muse! Return to me, creative Goddess of Frugality! This is just beyond weird.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-19 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-19 Pub. Date: 2018-08-19
Image Number: 173393
Caption: Eureka! Hide the children and their wallets. I've figured out a solution to the problem of rising health-care insurance costs. Premiums are rising 25% per year but we're getting less coverage. Finally, with my new plan, businesses and consumers can fight back. Ready? As I'll ever be. We need to get 25% more illness and disease. Time to get your money's worth, people. Who wants strep throat? Only $5 a swab. It's come to this.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-19 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-19 Pub. Date: 2018-06-19
Image Number: 172383
Caption: I've had four espresso shots and a red bull. Look out post office, here comes Sadie! Post office? You're fueling up so you have the strength to endure the long lines? Ha. I'm creating the lines. I get to the counter with a stack of complicated questions, then watch the people behind me go nuts with frustration! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!! One of the best maniacal laughs in the business.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-09 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172100
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-05 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-05 Pub. Date: 2018-04-05
Image Number: 170207
Caption: Remington is filing for bankruptcy. They're going away. No they're not. The gun manufacturer is just filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy. It'll let them stay in business and weasel out of paying their creditors at the same time. Lots of businesses do it, all the time. It's the American way. Maybe I'll declare chapter 11 so I can weasel out too. Don't be foolish, the American way is for corporate citizens, not citizen-citizens.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-31 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-31 Pub. Date: 2018-03-31
Image Number: 169902
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3 a.m, we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-17 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165604
Caption: Do you know why I love Star Trek, minion? We called me in at 2am to talk about this? It's because it's a lefty-liberal utopia. They've eliminated scarcity. There's all the food and shelter anyone could ever want, so there's no more need for capitalism. They flat-out say there's no such concept as money in their society. And yet we've seen them buy things. With money. Plenty of times. It's absolute proof that people never truly have to live up to the ideals they espouse, and that's always been an inspiration to me. Now get back out there and remember, the customer is always right!* Service with a smile.* Providing a quality product is its own reward.* You're a very good man.*
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-14 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-14 Pub. Date: 2017-12-14
Image Number: 166032
Caption: I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-04 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-04 Pub. Date: 2017-11-04
Image Number: 164426
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-08 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-08 Pub. Date: 2017-10-08
Image Number: 162958
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? Boss, you called me in at 2a.m. to clean out the gutters. We don't have any gutters. Of course we don't have any gutters. I'm confused. When I ordered you to clean out the gutters, it was clearly implied that you're first supposed to install them. Am I supposed to do all your thinking for you, Rudy? This is very disappointing. This will impact your next weekly performance review. Anyway, you'd better get to it. How do you expect the cafe's rooftop garden to properly drain without gutters? We don't have a rooftop garden. Very bad man. How do you expect to placate the green-freaks once we install the oil wells without a rooftop garden.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-18 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158722
Caption: I forgot my phone at the hotel. How do I get to the planetarium? That depends on how much it's worth to you. What? What do you mean? Do you want the long way or the short way? Do you want the safe way through the cobblestone paths of Lily Pad Meadow … or do you want the treacherous way over the frigid Reaper Mountain Pass? Do you seriously expect me to pay for directions? Is that a serious question? This is America, where we have an obligation to turn a profit on every interaction, unless we're donating to charity for a tax write-off. Unless you're a 501-3c I have to charge you. It's in the Constitution. I only have $5 on me. I'll print out the treacherous directions for you. For an extra $1 I'll make sure it avoids most of the rabid grizzly squirrels.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-10 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-10 Pub. Date: 2017-04-10
Image Number: 156746
Caption: Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadieâ„¢ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have any advice for you. Good luck, - D.P., formerly of YouTubeLand. WHAT THE HECK IS YOUTUBE?!?! Advise Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-28 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-28 Pub. Date: 2016-12-28
Image Number: 152644
Caption: Armstrong's out of control. It's like his greed has gone into overdrive. What do you mean? Every day, he comes up with a new way to bilk the customers and me out of our hard-earned money … like usual. But the odd thing is, now he's doing it every five minutes. I don't think he's slept, eaten of bathed in at least three days. I've bathed, but if you want me to wear deodorant it's an extra $5. Holy McConaughey.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-26 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-26 Pub. Date: 2016-08-26
Image Number: 147678
Caption: You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-16 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-16 Pub. Date: 2016-08-16
Image Number: 147398
Caption: I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-02 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-02 Pub. Date: 2016-05-02
Image Number: 142736
Caption: Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-09 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-09 Pub. Date: 2016-04-09
Image Number: 141530
Caption: I think you charged my Mastercard twice by mistake for that drink last month. Do you have the receipt? Who keeps a café receipt for a whole month? That's crazy talk. Oh. No problem. Do you have your Mastercard statement? They went out of business, so I can't print that out. Get out.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-03 go out of business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-03 Pub. Date: 2016-04-03
Image Number: 140631
Caption: I think it's time this café showed its commitment to LGBT rights. Ok. How, boss? Well, there's all this controversy over whether to allow people who are transgender to choose which restroom they want to use. And I think the whole discussion is demeaning and insulting to them. It's divisive. We should all be coming together to recognize that now matter what we are - male, female, or whatever - we're all one people. That's why I'm eliminating the bathrooms altogether, and putting a bucket out in the alley. The immense amount of money I'll save on water, paper towels, and toilet maintenance has nothing to do with this. I assume I'll win some sort of award for this. Very bad man.
     
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