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Rudy Park

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121. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-10 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-10 Pub. Date: 2016-06-10
Image Number: 144241
Caption: Hello, nemesis. Give me one of everything. And bill it to you. Why would I do that? Because there's a sign on the wall that reads "The customer is always right." If you don't do as I say, that's false advertising. If you don't pay for what you order, you're not technically a "customer." Stalemate! Not technically.
     
122. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-30 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-30 Pub. Date: 2016-05-30
Image Number: 143936
Caption: How's it going in there, little buddy? There's a line of unhappy-looking people behind me. Just give me 20 more minutes, Randy. They've taken up a petition. 36 people are demanding you find someplace else to check your Facebook. Can't anyone be left along anywhere anymore?! I had no idea so many people own pitchforks. Go away!
     
123. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-29 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-29 Pub. Date: 2016-05-29
Image Number: 143143
Caption: I'll have a "Bernie Sanders." Sorry, Uncle Mort. That's not on the menu. Of course it is. It's been a popular menu item for months! Young people rave about it! They get bumper stickers and go to massive rallies! They go online and tell everyone they should just give the drink a chance! It's the best drink available, they say! It's snazzy! It's aces! It's a real sweet patootie! And then when the time comes to actually go out and buy it, guess what happens? Those crumbs forget to bring their wallets. I'm not really sure where you went with that analogy Uncle Mort. Never mind. Just give me a chamomile tea.
     
124. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-25 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-25 Pub. Date: 2016-05-25
Image Number: 143657
Caption: I've been giving some more thought to your question about in which era in history I'd most like to live. You have? I thought you never change your mind about anything. This is true. Randy's alpha male or female rule number 1: "Make a decision and stick with it even it it's really dumb." HOJ. " ... Appearing indecisive is the kiss of death." But you're forgetting the corollary ... "If you do change your mind, claim you've always believed as you do now." " ... and anyone who thinks otherwise is crazy." Can't believe I forgot that part.
     
125. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-24 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-24 Pub. Date: 2016-05-24
Image Number: 143656
Caption: Boss … if you could live in any era in history, which one would it be? I'm glad you asked. I've given this a lot of thought. I'd travel back to 14th century Europe and try to broker peace to head off the hundred year's war. I could save 3.3 million lives. I'd also bring a suitcase of penicillin and other antibiotics with me to cure "The Black Death" before it got started. I could save 200 million people. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Without that depletion of manpower, feudalism would never have tragically had to end and you'd be calling me "lord."
     
126. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-02 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-02 Pub. Date: 2016-05-02
Image Number: 142736
Caption: Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.
     
127. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-16 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-16 Pub. Date: 2016-04-16
Image Number: 141819
Caption: You short-changed me when I paid for my drink last week. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. You gave me change for $10, but I now I gave you more than a ten-dollar bill. Sorry about that. How much did you give me? I distinctly remember I had nothing but $1,000 bills in my wallet. Not falling for it.
     
128. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-01 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141149
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" advice hour. "Holden" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! I've been trying to get my wife to watch "The Expanse" on Syfy channel, but she refuses to even give it a chance. She won't watch any of my favorite shows with me. What can I do? YOU CAN GET A LIFE. Or you can continue to bug her about your tv shows, she can leave you for a romantic, oiled-up helicopter pilot, and you can watch your shows with your pet goldfish. I don't have a goldfish.
     
129. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-31 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-31 Pub. Date: 2016-03-31
Image Number: 141148
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? Are you voting for Trump or Clinton? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when little Chester Oswald threw my liverwurst sandwich on the ground. The schoolmarm gave me a terrible choice: I could either eat the dirt-covered sandwich, or I could go hungry. So I chose the only thing I could choose ... I switched my sandwich with hers, and when she yakked up her lunch I laughed and laughed. So ... you're saying ... what?
     
130. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-06 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-06 Pub. Date: 2016-03-06
Image Number: 139362
Caption: Breaking news! The Brazilian Zika virus is spreading explosively! Experts say it could be a bigger global health threat that Ebola! Most people infected with the disease won't feel any symptoms at all and those who do will probably just think it's a minor cold, experts say. Of course, if you're pregnant or may get pregnant, the virus may give your child a tiny microcephalic head. Otherwise no biggee. Wait ... what? Experts say concern over this calamitous virus is overblown. This is really no big deal at all. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!!! Experts say this mostly innocuous virus could ravage the entire globe.
     
131. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-05 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139847
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3a.m., we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
132. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-26 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139582
Caption: Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a robe all day.
     
133. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-21 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-21 Pub. Date: 2016-02-21
Image Number: 138713
Caption: Rudy, I'd like you to broaden your skill-set. What for, boss? You have a real flair for making coffee. House of Java Cybercafe. But the era of the specialist is over. These days, workers must be able to perform the duties of several people. A lot of political cartoonists are now expected to also draw bar graphs and write articles covering the local car wash openings. I fired my long-time dentist so I could hire one who'd agree to also paint my bathroom. Workers specializing in just one thing is a historical aberration, anyway. For most of human history, people had to catch their own food, make their own clothes, dig their own graves ... and give offerings to their overlords. How good are you at painting bathrooms and performing root canals? How hard can that be? I'll go see if there's a root canal on Youtube.
     
134. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-08 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-08 Pub. Date: 2016-02-08
Image Number: 138883
Caption: You want to see me, boss? Yes, minion. Something fishy is going on. Donald Trump lost the Iowa caucuses. That morning, he held an event in "Waterloo, Iowa." It can't be a coincidence. The universe apparently has a sense of irony. No tyrant, demagogue, or would-be despot is safe. I'm going to give you a bag of money. You're going to go to city hall and bribe my lackeys to change the name of our street to something other than "Indicted Ave." Very bad man.
     
135. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-30 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-30 Pub. Date: 2016-01-30
Image Number: 138318
Caption: In my day, they didn't give free lunches to poor children in school. If your parents couldn't afford to feed you, you went without. When you saw rich kids and their fancy sandwiches, you didn't expect the government to even the scales for you. You pushed them down in the dirt and stole those sandwiches on your own! I think I read about you in "Lord of the Flies."
     
136. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-17 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-17 Pub. Date: 2016-01-17
Image Number: 137204
Caption: A-HA! What? What do you mean "a-ha"? You know how you told me there's a difference between your pumpkin-ginseng latte and your ginseng-pumpkin latte? Well, I gave samples of each to my cousin who's a scientist in the tastebud studies department at Candorville University. He put them through the most rigorous tests known to man, and guess what the results showed? This cafe officially has no knowledge of any abnormal amounts of fluoride, heavy metals, disinfections byproducts, pharmaceutical drugs, rodent waste, or any other contaminants in our food or drink. I was going to say the tests found they're the same drink. This cafe has specifically never even heard of chromium, uranium or perfluorooctanoic sulfonate.
     
137. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-04 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-04 Pub. Date: 2016-01-04
Image Number: 137444
Caption: You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund. Ok. Where's the drink? What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't til I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste. You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works. You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you. That's not how it works!
     
138. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-29 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-29 Pub. Date: 2015-11-29
Image Number: 135088
Caption: Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to confuse spearmint with peppermint? I must be the biggest jerk in the world. You said it. I didn't ... dear. Give us a drink that says "You're just like your meddling mother." Give us a drink that says "My mother was right about you." Leave! Both of you!
     
139. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-12 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-12 Pub. Date: 2015-10-12
Image Number: 133870
Caption: I'm not sure the advice you gave me about Andrea Wheaton is working, Mr. Armstrong. Details. I asked her to form a romantic partnership, just like you said, where she'd be a 50% sharehoarder. ShareHOLDer. She didn't bite? She threw the prospectus in the trash. If a girl throws your prospectus in the trash, she's not the girl for you.
     
140. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-28 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-28 Pub. Date: 2015-09-28
Image Number: 133157
Caption: You've had a raging crush on me for 18 years. What? No ... once you got married I totally moved on. Given your former persistence, that's highly dubious. Just bottomline it for me: Does that crush still exist? Because if so, it may fit into my plan. "Plan"? What are you talking about? What is this? I'm scheduling my upcoming midlife crisis. Are you free from June of 2018 to March of 2019? What's happening?
     
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