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Rudy Park

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-15 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-15 Pub. Date: 2017-12-15
Image Number: 166033
Caption: What do you mean "give table two the special plate"? That’s Smedley Peevish Highbrow, the café critic from Gourmet Magazine. Facial recognition systems are surprisingly cheap on the black market. Still, which plate is the "special plate"? The one with the $100 bill taped to its bottom.
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-18 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-18 Pub. Date: 2017-11-18
Image Number: 164887
Caption: Warner Brothers put several whole scenes from "Justice League" up on Youtube. Wrong move. Ruins the mystery. To market a movie like this, one must be a mystery. An enigma. A reserved figure who gives the impression of a beast with rippling muscles lurking just below the veneer of a gentleman. Wait ... isn't that last part from your self-help book "Randy's Guide to Becoming a Mysterious Man"? You'd be surprised at how universally applicable these principles are, little buddy. Anyway, I feel like I've already seen the whole movie. Bored now.
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-13 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-13 Pub. Date: 2017-11-13
Image Number: 164882
Caption: What do you mean "give Rudy a minute"? He's doing something very delicate. Like what? He's trying to help Sadie find her old childhood friends online. He found lots of them. They're still alive! But the news is both good and bad, and he's not sure how to break it to her gently. They're ... um ... in a Facebook group called "Sadie-Survivors Support Group." What th -- I said tell me the bad news first, cretin.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-12 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-12 Pub. Date: 2017-11-12
Image Number: 164319
Caption: Hi, Rudy. What the -- ?! Don't rush me, Uncle Mort. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web. $12.50. What'd I say? You asked how last night's date went. You wanted to know If we hit it off … If we had a goodnight kiss … if there'll be a second date … If we went for long walks on the beach ... If we're getting serious ... if I've met her parents ... if I've thought of how to propose ... if she's said yes ... if we've moved in together ... if we've discussed giving you grand-nieces and nephews ... All I said was "Hi, Rudy." Family can always red between the lines. What the -- ?! I am not looking too thin! What the -- ?! Take that back, I am not getting wrinkles.
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-06 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-06 Pub. Date: 2017-11-06
Image Number: 164673
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Kevin Spacey. Specifically, we'll talk about that delightful television drama he stars in alongside one of my favorite actresses. Also, my tv has been at the repairman's shop for a couple weeks, so maybe you nice callers can fill me in on any big news stories I may have missed. Anyhow, I once met that nice young Mr. Spacey. He gave me a signed DVD of "American Beauty." I don't have a DVD machine, but I framed it because the cover is so lovely with all those roses ...
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-03 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-03 Pub. Date: 2017-11-03
Image Number: 164425
Caption: I'd like to sample the pumpkin spice and kale latte. You can't sample that, you order that every day. You know what it tastes like I saw you give someone else a sample. By law, you have to treat every customer the same. Sample me, sample-boy. Or else. Get out.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-31 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-31 Pub. Date: 2017-10-31
Image Number: 164422
Caption: Nasa's going to give the moon a moon. What? It's going to capture an asteroid and put it in lunar orbit so we can practice docking with it and maybe mine it. Do you think it's too late for me to become and astronaut? I would love to be the first human being to say "can you hear me now" from an asteroid. Your deeds will be remember for centuries. I want to be the first human to moon the moon from the moon's moon.
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-25 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-25 Pub. Date: 2017-10-25
Image Number: 164161
Caption: Spoiler alert for "Star Trek: Discovery." Spoiler will be said in 10 … 9 … 8 … What are you doing? 7 … What on earth are you babbling about, you odd, odd cretin? 6 … 5 … 4 … Your countdown is not working, loser. I have no interest in whatever it is you're going to say. None at all. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Are spoilers supposed to be given after "1," or after "0"? Tell be what you're counting down to! Tell me!
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-20 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163919
Caption: Boss? Did you happen to start a Youtube channel? We have no proof of that, minion. But I came across a Youtube video called "Humiliate Your Employees for Fun and Profit." Sounds interesting. The guy giving advice in that video looks just like you. No he doesn't. He's got a huge mustache and an eye patch. I mean ... he sounds like he probably has a huge mustache and an eye patch. Very bad man.
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-09 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-09 Pub. Date: 2017-10-09
Image Number: 163640
Caption: Boss, remember when you said you'd consider giving me a raise if I were to show initiative? No. I used the café's line of credit to buy ads on a national broadcast. You did what? If the ad increases business, do I get a raise? Maybe. What channel's it on? Fox? NBC? Today's "Ask Sadie Radio Show" is brought to you by the worst excuse for a cafe in America.
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-28 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163106
Caption: I really hope Medicare for all passes, little buddy. If it passes, no one will be forced to stay in a bad marriage just for the health insurance. There'll be million of men re-entering the dating scene. The competition will help me keep my skills honed. Of course, all the extra women on the scene might negate the challenge ... Maybe I should give this more thought. I'm worried that if it passes, I'll be able to get checked, and they'll remove my pulsating mole. Throbby? But you love Throbby.
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-20 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162862
Caption: Sadie, they say the Andromeda galaxy's on a collision course with outs, and it's a lot closer than it was when earth was first created. So what, dorkboy? Is that true? You're the perfect person to ask if it's really gotten closer. Was it even big enough to see in the sky, back in the hadean eon when you were a kid? You should've said "Jurassic era." Nobody know what "hadean eon" is. I give that sad attempt a 2 out of 5. Had they already invented 2 and 5 when you were a kid?
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-19 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 162861
Caption: Armstrong, did you know that the Milky Way and Adromeda galaxies may already be colliding, billions of years early? A ginormous field of ionized hydrogen that gives birth to stars surrounds each galaxy like a halo. Andromeda's halo may have already caught up to ours. Ah, but of course. Andromeda has drawn first blood with a pre-emptive hostile takeover bid. Reminds me of that time I took over little Alice Chang's lemonade stand while she was napping. Very bad man.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-14 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-14 Pub. Date: 2017-09-14
Image Number: 162612
Caption: Rudy, I'm thinking of replacing you with Gunther the illegal immigrant. What?! Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. Relax. I haven't yet made up my mind. I'll give you a chance to underbid him. Gunther says he'll work for $1 a day, from 3am to 11pm. Can you beat that? Yeah. I can turn you in. Tsk tsk ... Gunther would never say something like that.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-17 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-17 Pub. Date: 2017-08-17
Image Number: 161546
Caption: A few years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie Show, our resident octogenarian* asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. *(give or take a decade). Dear Sadie, You could try taking a trip to the Sahara Desert. Not only would it be an adventure, but you'd be the perfect person to catalog all the changes it's undergone. After all, you're probably the last person alive who remembers it when it was still a lush, ancient swamp. Happy Crisis, Anderson W. Stockton, CA. If you'd like, I could show you what it felt like when the tectonic plates collided. Advise Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-01 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-01 Pub. Date: 2017-08-01
Image Number: 161037
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, sister? People were right: Now that gay people in all 50 states can marry, it's destroyed marriage altogether. My husband Larry just left me and moved in with Earl the plumber. First of all, ma'am, I'm pretty sure you have no idea how these things work. The supreme court gave Larry the gay. How do I undo the gay?
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-31 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-31 Pub. Date: 2017-07-31
Image Number: 161036
Caption: Hey boss, it's July 31st. A couple years ago, you said come back July 31, 2017, and we could talk about you giving me a raise. Yes, but that was predicated on the notion that you'd need a raise by now. I see you're still alive. Clearly you haven't starved to death. You smell minty-fresh, so clearly you haven't been forced out into the streets. Karl Marx said it best: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." I'm pretty sure that is not what Marx meant.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-04 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-04 Pub. Date: 2017-07-04
Image Number: 159992
Caption: This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-17 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-17 Pub. Date: 2017-05-17
Image Number: 158090
Caption: I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means' in Russian?"
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-14 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-14 Pub. Date: 2017-05-14
Image Number: 157405
Caption: Give us a drink that says "We're back in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together again. Give my snookums anything she wants. Anything her precious heart desires. Anything at all! You don't remember what my favorite drink is, do you ... dear? Oh, please forgive me for thinking you'd appreciate that I'm not a presumptuous jerk who thinks you're incapable of ordering for yourself. Like that pompous English professor you left me for ... babykins. You mean "for whom I left you." Give my darling pudding-pop the worst-tasting swill on your menu. Leave me out of this! And give me a big, strong, English muffin.
     
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