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Rudy Park

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-14 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-14 Pub. Date: 2018-02-14
Image Number: 168443
Caption: I just can't anymore. There is no can't, little buddy. We can do anything we set our mints to unless we give up. When you say I can't, what I hear is I won't. Now there are photos of Richard Dreyfuss groping fans behinds and nether regions. Do you think it's too soon to tweet some Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind jokes. You can't.
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-11 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-11 Pub. Date: 2018-02-11
Image Number: 167765
Caption: Told you fellers Trump would make America great ag'n. He weren't lyin', neither. At&T gave out bonuses. Sure they laid off a buncha folks at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, so that don't count. Wal-Mart gave a buncha workers raises … An' they laid off a buncha folks at Sam's Club at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, go that don't count. MAGA. Over a hundred companies are givin' out one-time $1000 bonuses an' sayin' it's 'cause of the billions of dollars in tax cuts they got. During the last gilded age, the robber barons sometimes handed out pocket change to the poor. They were placating the masses who wanted to break up their huge, unscrupulous, slave-wage-paying corporations. Sounds like fake hist'ry to me. Just saying, $1000 isn't much to pay for pitchfork insurance. We eat the poor.
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-10 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-10 Pub. Date: 2018-02-10
Image Number: 168191
Caption: In my day, they didn't give free lunches to poor children in school. If your parents couldn't afford to feed you, you went without. When you saw rich kids and their fancy sandwiches, you didn't expect the government to level the playing field for you. You pushed them down in the mud and stole those sandwiches on your own! I think I read about you in The Hunger Games.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-26 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-26 Pub. Date: 2018-01-26
Image Number: 167660
Caption: You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-24 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-24 Pub. Date: 2018-01-24
Image Number: 167658
Caption: My people came from a paradise. We were all rich, well-educated homeowners who spoke English. Really? Of course not! It was a censored hole! We were all little censored who escaped, came here, and made this place censored too! Funny thing about censored when you spread it around and give it time, it sprouts roses. I thought you weren't supposed to use censored on flowers 'cause of parasites. All metaphors break down at some point. But you get the idea.
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-08 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-08 Pub. Date: 2018-01-08
Image Number: 167104
Caption: I'm not sure the advice you gave me about Andrea Wheaton is working, Mr. Armstrong. Details. I asked her to form a romantic partnership, just like you said, where she'd be a 50% sharehoarder. Shareholder. She didn't bite? She threw the prospectus in the trash. If a girl throws your prospectus in the trash, she's not the girl for you.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-25 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-25 Pub. Date: 2017-12-25
Image Number: 166539
Caption: Boss? There was a scrawny pigeon taped to my bedroom window this morning. A post-it note stuck to its back said "Sincerely, Armstrong." So it wasn't a dream! Last night, as I slumbered in my bed, I was visited by three spirits. They took me on a tour of Christmases past, present, and future. I used the tips future-me gave me to tell past-me to save money so present-me can buy the right obscure stocks, so future-me can reap huge dividends in 2047. Very. Bad. Man. The ghosts said something about my not appreciating you. So I swung by and left you a Christmas dinner, to pacify them.
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-15 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-15 Pub. Date: 2017-12-15
Image Number: 166033
Caption: What do you mean "give table two the special plate"? That’s Smedley Peevish Highbrow, the café critic from Gourmet Magazine. Facial recognition systems are surprisingly cheap on the black market. Still, which plate is the "special plate"? The one with the $100 bill taped to its bottom.
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-18 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-18 Pub. Date: 2017-11-18
Image Number: 164887
Caption: Warner Brothers put several whole scenes from "Justice League" up on Youtube. Wrong move. Ruins the mystery. To market a movie like this, one must be a mystery. An enigma. A reserved figure who gives the impression of a beast with rippling muscles lurking just below the veneer of a gentleman. Wait ... isn't that last part from your self-help book "Randy's Guide to Becoming a Mysterious Man"? You'd be surprised at how universally applicable these principles are, little buddy. Anyway, I feel like I've already seen the whole movie. Bored now.
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-13 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-13 Pub. Date: 2017-11-13
Image Number: 164882
Caption: What do you mean "give Rudy a minute"? He's doing something very delicate. Like what? He's trying to help Sadie find her old childhood friends online. He found lots of them. They're still alive! But the news is both good and bad, and he's not sure how to break it to her gently. They're ... um ... in a Facebook group called "Sadie-Survivors Support Group." What th -- I said tell me the bad news first, cretin.
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-12 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-12 Pub. Date: 2017-11-12
Image Number: 164319
Caption: Hi, Rudy. What the -- ?! Don't rush me, Uncle Mort. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web. $12.50. What'd I say? You asked how last night's date went. You wanted to know If we hit it off … If we had a goodnight kiss … if there'll be a second date … If we went for long walks on the beach ... If we're getting serious ... if I've met her parents ... if I've thought of how to propose ... if she's said yes ... if we've moved in together ... if we've discussed giving you grand-nieces and nephews ... All I said was "Hi, Rudy." Family can always red between the lines. What the -- ?! I am not looking too thin! What the -- ?! Take that back, I am not getting wrinkles.
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-06 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-06 Pub. Date: 2017-11-06
Image Number: 164673
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Kevin Spacey. Specifically, we'll talk about that delightful television drama he stars in alongside one of my favorite actresses. Also, my tv has been at the repairman's shop for a couple weeks, so maybe you nice callers can fill me in on any big news stories I may have missed. Anyhow, I once met that nice young Mr. Spacey. He gave me a signed DVD of "American Beauty." I don't have a DVD machine, but I framed it because the cover is so lovely with all those roses ...
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-03 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-03 Pub. Date: 2017-11-03
Image Number: 164425
Caption: I'd like to sample the pumpkin spice and kale latte. You can't sample that, you order that every day. You know what it tastes like I saw you give someone else a sample. By law, you have to treat every customer the same. Sample me, sample-boy. Or else. Get out.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-31 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-31 Pub. Date: 2017-10-31
Image Number: 164422
Caption: Nasa's going to give the moon a moon. What? It's going to capture an asteroid and put it in lunar orbit so we can practice docking with it and maybe mine it. Do you think it's too late for me to become and astronaut? I would love to be the first human being to say "can you hear me now" from an asteroid. Your deeds will be remember for centuries. I want to be the first human to moon the moon from the moon's moon.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-25 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-25 Pub. Date: 2017-10-25
Image Number: 164161
Caption: Spoiler alert for "Star Trek: Discovery." Spoiler will be said in 10 … 9 … 8 … What are you doing? 7 … What on earth are you babbling about, you odd, odd cretin? 6 … 5 … 4 … Your countdown is not working, loser. I have no interest in whatever it is you're going to say. None at all. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Are spoilers supposed to be given after "1," or after "0"? Tell be what you're counting down to! Tell me!
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-20 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163919
Caption: Boss? Did you happen to start a Youtube channel? We have no proof of that, minion. But I came across a Youtube video called "Humiliate Your Employees for Fun and Profit." Sounds interesting. The guy giving advice in that video looks just like you. No he doesn't. He's got a huge mustache and an eye patch. I mean ... he sounds like he probably has a huge mustache and an eye patch. Very bad man.
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-09 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-09 Pub. Date: 2017-10-09
Image Number: 163640
Caption: Boss, remember when you said you'd consider giving me a raise if I were to show initiative? No. I used the café's line of credit to buy ads on a national broadcast. You did what? If the ad increases business, do I get a raise? Maybe. What channel's it on? Fox? NBC? Today's "Ask Sadie Radio Show" is brought to you by the worst excuse for a cafe in America.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-28 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163106
Caption: I really hope Medicare for all passes, little buddy. If it passes, no one will be forced to stay in a bad marriage just for the health insurance. There'll be million of men re-entering the dating scene. The competition will help me keep my skills honed. Of course, all the extra women on the scene might negate the challenge ... Maybe I should give this more thought. I'm worried that if it passes, I'll be able to get checked, and they'll remove my pulsating mole. Throbby? But you love Throbby.
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-20 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162862
Caption: Sadie, they say the Andromeda galaxy's on a collision course with outs, and it's a lot closer than it was when earth was first created. So what, dorkboy? Is that true? You're the perfect person to ask if it's really gotten closer. Was it even big enough to see in the sky, back in the hadean eon when you were a kid? You should've said "Jurassic era." Nobody know what "hadean eon" is. I give that sad attempt a 2 out of 5. Had they already invented 2 and 5 when you were a kid?
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-19 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 162861
Caption: Armstrong, did you know that the Milky Way and Adromeda galaxies may already be colliding, billions of years early? A ginormous field of ionized hydrogen that gives birth to stars surrounds each galaxy like a halo. Andromeda's halo may have already caught up to ours. Ah, but of course. Andromeda has drawn first blood with a pre-emptive hostile takeover bid. Reminds me of that time I took over little Alice Chang's lemonade stand while she was napping. Very bad man.
     
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