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Rudy Park

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21. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-12 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-12 Pub. Date: 2018-12-12
Image Number: 175399
Caption: Given our collective short attention span, you now have less than 20 seconds to pick up a chick. After that, you've lost her to a cellphone call, incoming email, Twitter and so forth. The key is to keep your approach crisp, witty, and so irresistible that the incoming tweet can actually wait. Does everyone have that? Ooh, does she have an iPhone? Hold on, I'm getting a call.
     
22. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-07 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-07 Pub. Date: 2018-12-07
Image Number: 175273
Caption: Sadie, Rudy, I give up. You two won't ever agree on anything. There is no basis here for compromise. Go ahead and fight. Define yourselves entirely by each other and your conflict. Let the other person dominate your thoughts and feelings. I must take your twisted logic into consideration. Surely my iPhone can explain to me what just happened.
     
23. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-18 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-18 Pub. Date: 2018-11-18
Image Number: 174746
Caption: Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my devices, on credit. Even the most devoted sometimes need help overcoming their demons.
     
24. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-10 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-10 Pub. Date: 2018-11-10
Image Number: 174832
Caption: I had a very rewarding week. Weird. What? You sound almost happy, satisfied. HOJ. So strange for someone with such a meaningless, dead-end existence to find amid his personal rubble a nugget of joy. Defeat snatched from the jaws of a vague sense of contentedness. It's almost enough to give me hope.
     
25. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-07 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-07 Pub. Date: 2018-11-07
Image Number: 174829
Caption: … and to top it off, after school today, Ms. Jensen asked me what I want to be. Give me a break. House of Java.net Cybercafe. No one knows what they want to be when they grown up. I was the rare exception. I knew someday I'd work at a new high-tech giant. Huh? She wanted to know what I wanted to be in some stupid fall play. She assigned me the singing cactus. Never, ever lie. But if anyone asks, I work at Apple.
     
26. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-03 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-03 Pub. Date: 2018-11-03
Image Number: 174752
Caption: Finally, the cleansing process is working. I've not hit on a gal for give days. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I feel my head clearing. I'm able to perceive the world not in terms of romantic conquests but more richly, more broadly. I'm using more senses. I hear the sound of the espresso machine, smell the fresh scones, taste fall's aroma. Mostly, I smell the stink of my own unwashed body under this shroud. End of cleansing! About time.
     
27. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-26 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-26 Pub. Date: 2018-10-26
Image Number: 174637
Caption: … charge extra for people to wear shoes, create a tax on spilled drinks, double-charge for napkins. Boring, you're not a government entity, it's been done. I give up. I concede. I've got nothing. Maybe I don't belong as a businessman. Maybe I should just turn over the keys to the place to the customers ... They can make their own drinks and become experts and run their own coffee houses. Or I could charge them for making their own drinks and call this a training ground! Witness the return of a muse.
     
28. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-17 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-17 Pub. Date: 2018-10-17
Image Number: 174505
Caption: As you know by now know, we received dozens of replies to our request for suggestions to rename Rudy Park's generation. Today, we announce the third-place runners-up. That selection goes to a handful of readers who deemed Rudy's peer group Generation E for entitlement or entitled. Thoughts? I thought he E referred to easy to saddle with the deficit, you cheapskate curmudgeons! What do you think of that?! Solid retort. But we though enough to give it third place. Tomorrow: Our runners-up are announce and win nothing!
     
29. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-30 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-30 Pub. Date: 2018-09-30
Image Number: 174105
Caption: Distraught. Let's hear it. I met this girl last night and she gave me her number. Awesome. So? I texted her. And? I haven't heard back. Hold on. Remain calm. How long has it been? Panic!!! Oh, never mind. I texted to the wrong number. Generation I -- for impatient!! Exhale.
     
30. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-23 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-23 Pub. Date: 2018-09-23
Image Number: 173994
Caption: The Adventures of Recession Man! M'lady, you seem distressed. I haven't had a raise in two years. My bills keep going up but my income has stagnated. Fear not. I can save the day. You can get me a raise? I can help you see things differently. We'll talk it out, then I'll give you a back rub, and you'll feel your anger dissolve into sweet kisses. Typical! some man fashions himself a superhero who can sweet me up in his arms and dismiss all my problems. Whoa, this economy's a powerful nemesis. It's using the most evil trick of all! Huh? Mind control. They're trying to turn you against me. Oh brother. Need help? E-mail Recession Man at asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
31. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-22 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-22 Pub. Date: 2018-09-22
Image Number: 174111
Caption: For health reasons, we'll be watching only two hours a day of pre-election tv coverage. Oh, snookums … How sweet. You're so worried about me getting overly-taxed by intense political debate. Pshaw! That pipsqueak Olbermann gives me hives and Hannity is so physically hunky and so amazingly stupid that he confuses my hormones. I'm talking about my health, geezer! Too late, old bag! You just admitted you love me as much as I love you!
     
32. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-08 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-08 Pub. Date: 2018-09-08
Image Number: 173922
Caption: Last question … Will you be getting rid of your iPhone? What? Given how fed up you are with the reception and the flawed software, will you be getting rid of the phone? I don't understand. You mean you can't hear the question? It makes no sense. You mean: Get rid of the phone? Are you nuts? Yes, for continuing to listen to you.
     
33. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-14 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-14 Pub. Date: 2018-08-14
Image Number: 173522
Caption: We've done it. Our fake video of you being nice to Rudy has ruined your reputation. You're a weirdo. Your ratings are booming. Listeners can't get enough. They wonder if you're a fraud, think you're more human, imagine they might be superior to you. Time for Part 2. I don't want to know. You fake your redemption and we start selling t-shirts. I want 25% and I won't give or receive any hugs.
     
34. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-29 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172980
Caption: This just in: There's nothing in. We here at CNM have finally realized why our ratings have been plummeting. For years, we billed ourselves as a 24-hour news channel. We gave unbiased reports on the major events of the day. But it turns out: There aren't that many major events. How many minor updates can we give you on a fire that takes place at a polygamist compound, or a northeast snowstorm or a traffic snarl? We can admit this because no one is listening. The 24-hour news channels have grown desperate and giddy. We're going to one hour of news, and 23 hours of political bickering and nude juggling.
     
35. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-24 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-24 Pub. Date: 2018-07-24
Image Number: 173109
Caption: I give you: Octo-Cola. What? The drink for people in their 80s who want an energy boost to play Scrabble on Facebook. Do I know you? I know you. And I want to thank you for sharing all your personal info on Facebook. It's a great way to get you the products and services you care about. As an aside, I'm sorry about your stinky foot condition. Fisticuffs to ensue.
     
36. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-08 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-08 Pub. Date: 2018-07-08
Image Number: 172381
Caption: Halt! What? What'd I do? Did you order a non-fat latte? Yeah, so? Then you poured in a heap of half-and-half. Well, I … You're lying to yourself. You fashion yourself a heart-healthy consumer then give in to your debased nutritional habits and tastes. you probably hate big government but like pork projects in your district or favor states' rights but want courts to ban gay marriage at the federal level. What? Coffee habits as prism into a moral hypocrisy!!! Plus, that drink just sounds like it tastes terrible. I absolutely need a huge dollop of sugar.
     
37. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-08 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-08 Pub. Date: 2018-07-08
Image Number: 172758
Caption: HALT! What? What'd I do? Did you order a non-fat latte? Yeah. So? Then you poured in a heap of half-and half. Well, I - You're lying to protect yourself. You fashion yourself a heart-healthy consumer then give in to your debased nutritional habits and tastes. You probably hate big government but like pork projects in your district or favor states' rights but want courts to ban gay marriage at the federal level. What? COFFEE HABITS AS PRISM INTO MORAL HYPOCRISY!!! Plus, that drink just sounds like it tastes terrible. I absolutely need a huge dollop of sugar.
     
38. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172239
Caption: You're in big, big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break. I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare I?! Look! … making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years ... How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was good to you, filthbag! Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
39. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172751
Caption: You're in big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break, I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare it! LOOK! Making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years. How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was so good to you, filthbag. Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
40. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-07 give 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-07 Pub. Date: 2018-06-07
Image Number: 172098
Caption: Given enough time, audiences know what to expect, Rosencrantz. And with expectation comes acceptance. Give them crudty, and that is what they will accept. Give them erudition, and they will rise to accept that. Feed them a diet of lies, and they will learn to crave them. I still would prefer to eat my sandwiches before you've chewed them. Give it time.
     
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