Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim is lousy.
Dear Moron … I'm extremely offended by your latest blog where you defended Rihanna's "Man Down" video; where her character shoots a man who had sexually assaulted her. What a double-standard! If Chris Brown had made a video where HE shot a woman, you'd be outraged! And don't give me the excuse that "Well he beat HER up, not the other way around." That's neither here nor there. What kind of message does it send to show a sexual predator getting gunned down in cold blood? "DON'T RAPE PEOPLE." You and Rihanna owe rapists everywhere an apology.