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Rudy Park

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  Next  (92 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-08 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-08 Pub. Date: 2017-10-08
Image Number: 162958
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? Boss, you called me in at 2a.m. to clean out the gutters. We don't have any gutters. Of course we don't have any gutters. I'm confused. When I ordered you to clean out the gutters, it was clearly implied that you're first supposed to install them. Am I supposed to do all your thinking for you, Rudy? This is very disappointing. This will impact your next weekly performance review. Anyway, you'd better get to it. How do you expect the cafe's rooftop garden to properly drain without gutters? We don't have a rooftop garden. Very bad man. How do you expect to placate the green-freaks once we install the oil wells without a rooftop garden.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-28 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163106
Caption: I really hope Medicare for all passes, little buddy. If it passes, no one will be forced to stay in a bad marriage just for the health insurance. There'll be million of men re-entering the dating scene. The competition will help me keep my skills honed. Of course, all the extra women on the scene might negate the challenge ... Maybe I should give this more thought. I'm worried that if it passes, I'll be able to get checked, and they'll remove my pulsating mole. Throbby? But you love Throbby.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-26 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-26 Pub. Date: 2017-09-26
Image Number: 163104
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie show. You're on caller. What's your problem? The Orville. Don't get me started. Orville Redenbacher stole his popping-corn recipe from Grandma Cohen. But … "but she stole it from Clarence Hornswaggler descendant of the guy who stole it from the Native Americans," Yeah everyone knows that story; it's fake news. No, I meant "The Orville," that "Star-Trek" type show by Seth McFarlane. What's that have to do with popcorn? Call back when you're not so confused. Next caller!
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-13 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-13 Pub. Date: 2017-08-13
Image Number: 160983
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? There's a guy from Immigration and Customs Enforcement out front, boss. Oh, that. ICE said someone would stop by to thank me for tipping them off to all the illegals who were hanging out at Muhammad's Bean Pie Shack. What? Why would you do that? Because I'm a patriot. In times like this, every patriot must do his duty. If we have good reason to suspect a bean pie shack is a gathering place for people who shouldn't be here, it's our solemn duty to report it, so it'll get shut down. This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with how you've been looking for ways to boost our bean pie sales, would it? Coincidence. Don't be a conspiracy theorist, minion. Oh, and go tell ICE I have another tip for them. Very bad man.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-06 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-06 Pub. Date: 2017-08-06
Image Number: 160628
Caption: Do you remember your first kiss? There was snow on the ground. There was snow everywhere. The grown-ups were all out. My father, Rocky, was out hunting with the other fellas. The scent of willow, or maybe white sage, woke me from my peaceful slumber. I turned to see from whence it came. That's when I saw her, kneeling beside a crackling flame, her eyes and her smile aglow with dancing ribbons of amber light. Our eyes met. I strode toward her. In silence, I sat beside her. I looked deep into her eyes. She looked deeper into mine. She grunted melodically, and I leaned in ... "Grunted"? I lightly brushed my lips against hers, and then pounded my chest to claim her as my own. I meant your first kiss in this life. We donned our lion furs and rode into the snowy night on the back of a mastodon to ask the volcano for permission to get busy, as was our clan's custom.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-20 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-20 Pub. Date: 2017-07-20
Image Number: 160522
Caption: I tripped just now over by your bathroom. If I took this to court, I could get six figures. But I'll settle out of court for a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts. We just had a huge earthquake. If you fell, it was probably because of that. You guys failed to think ahead and put in bouncy floors. Get out.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-13 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-13 Pub. Date: 2017-07-13
Image Number: 160228
Caption: Give it to me straight, Randy. How did your date go? You're not usually this tight-lipped about it. Menu. I went out with a lady from Vancouver. That's all you'll get from me. Oh my god. You're in love. Randy "The Rock" Taylor is head over heels in love with a lady from Vancouver. Either that, or she flat-out rejected you, and since that's never happened to you before in life, you're left stunned and unable to process it. You're forgetting chapter 7 of "Randy's Guide to Life" ... "Only Specks Speculate." Come to think of it, the two options aren't mutually exclusive.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-09 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159560
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Hello handsome Sadie, It's Timona here greeting you from Kiev, Ukraine. Yeah we are in great political turmoil right now, but I will let you in on a secret since we are old friends. Now is the best time for to invest in the Ukraine real estate. In 2005, for inspect, a 71 sq. meter abode sold for $7,500 US Dollars. Today it sell for at only $1,100 US Dollars. Lovely school for to nearby, as well as charming Mall within walking distance with has all the conveniences. Keep this amazing opportunity quiet. I only tell YOU because of that time we made that amazing connection. You friend, Timona. Click here for to house buy. Excellent questions. I get letters like this all the time ever since I publicly announced my email address. It reminds me of the time I hired a 17-year-old nerd to track down a spammer's true IP address, name, birthdate, physical address, and bank account number ... and shipped the spammer two tons of manure purchased with his entire life savings. It cost me a vinyl record, a Mountain Dew and a crate of Cheetos, but it was worth it. Ask Sadie a question (but be careful) at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-18 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158722
Caption: I forgot my phone at the hotel. How do I get to the planetarium? That depends on how much it's worth to you. What? What do you mean? Do you want the long way or the short way? Do you want the safe way through the cobblestone paths of Lily Pad Meadow … or do you want the treacherous way over the frigid Reaper Mountain Pass? Do you seriously expect me to pay for directions? Is that a serious question? This is America, where we have an obligation to turn a profit on every interaction, unless we're donating to charity for a tax write-off. Unless you're a 501-3c I have to charge you. It's in the Constitution. I only have $5 on me. I'll print out the treacherous directions for you. For an extra $1 I'll make sure it avoids most of the rabid grizzly squirrels.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-02 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-02 Pub. Date: 2017-06-02
Image Number: 158616
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? I'm -- Don't pussyfoot around the issue. Get to the point! I don't have all day! I'm -- GET ON WITH IT, ALREADY! Next caller. You're on. What's your problem? Um … Nothing. I'm good.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-25 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-25 Pub. Date: 2017-05-25
Image Number: 158355
Caption: Federal Agent Murph … just so I get this straight, I'm not a suspect in the potential Russian blackmailing of the president? Of course not. I'm counting on you to cover it. As a journalist. I suspect my superiors are caving to pressure from the White House. My investigation may hit a brick wall. So the press may be our only hope to at least get it all out there. And since the suspect Rudy Park is your old roomie, I figured you'd want to be the one to tail him to Moscow. Then why am I tied up in the back of your van mphmph. Figured you'd like a ride to the airport. You're welcome.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-21 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157666
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident surly lass answers actual reader questions sent to rudy@rudypark.com, and posts answers to www.rudypark.com. Dear Sadie, My husband keeps leaving his stuff all over the place and expecting me to pick up after him. How do I get through to him that this isn't the 1950s? - Angry in Anaheim. What is wrong with you?! He doesn't "expect you" to clean up after him! He doesn't care whether you leave his boxers on the coffee table or not. You are the one who cares. You are the only one who cares if things get picked up or not. He would only start caring at the point where the pile gets high enough to block his view of the tv. It's as if you've never even heard of the male species. Ask Sadie, baby!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-07 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157127
Caption: I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... my phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-21 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157028
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been dating this man for 17 years. How do I get him to pop the big question? Which "big question" is that? "Hey, how come I'm not getting any lovin'?" … or "Hey, where are you going with all your luggage?" ... or "Hey, who's that guy and why are you riding him piggyback and kissing on his neck like that?" Get a clue, lady, he doesn't want you. Move on. Maybe I should give him more time.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-17 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157024
Caption: Hello, this is cable news. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. Our records show you didn't click on a single clip of the missiles our navy shot at Syria. I didn't what on the what now? We bought your complete web browsing history from your internet service provider. How could you resist watching all those beautiful instruments of death and destruction soar into the night sky. House of Java Cybercafe. Get out of my computer machine! What's with all your visits to old-biddies-doing-yoga-dot-com? ... Freak.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-14 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-14 Pub. Date: 2017-04-14
Image Number: 156750
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with a Russian man. But ever since this Trump-Russia story broke, there's been tension. How do I keep politics from getting in the way of romance? You don't. You incorporate it. Try role play ... wait ... is this Trump? Trump would never call your failed advice "business."
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-18 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-18 Pub. Date: 2017-03-18
Image Number: 155669
Caption: Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there, I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go. Of course I'm not. What's that beeping? I hear beeping in there. You're mistaken. What you probably heard is a big truck backing up a few blocks away. I've backed up. I've put on my motorcycle helmet. I'm getting a running start. But I'm almost at the next level! ... I mean I'm almost done.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-31 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-31 Pub. Date: 2017-01-31
Image Number: 153978
Caption: Did you say we import our coffee beans from Chernobyl? Isn't that place a nuclear wasteland? That's culturally insensitive. Chernobyl is a beautiful land of glowing trees and three-headed mooses with raccoon tails. The brave and selfless tribe of hard-working grotesque mutants who hunt our coffee beans for us prefers "post-natural wilderness" to "nuclear wasteland." This is disgu -- Wait, what do you mean "hunt" our coffee beans? Don't get all bleeding-heart about it. The beans skittering around and chucking spears is no evidence they're sentient.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-14 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-14 Pub. Date: 2017-01-14
Image Number: 153097
Caption: I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-25 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151673
Caption: Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North Pole. "North ... Pole?"? We incinerated it for you as it approached a chimney in your social-congregate region known as "Seattle." You ... wait ... you did what? You're welcome.
     
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