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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-12-12 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-12-12 Pub. Date: 2017-12-12
Image Number: 166205
Caption: With Nixon in Hell. Look! This was my idea! But do I get any credit? Do I get any appreciation? Noooooo! It's hell, ain't it … Nick. Deed. Souls. The Under World. Trump says he is above the law.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-31 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-31 Pub. Date: 2017-03-31
Image Number: 156458
Caption: Ivanka On The Job. Look! My new office … Right down the hall from daddy's. I can get some ideas about how to get more votes from women! Daddy's Li'l Girl. Ivanka. I can't wait to try out some ideas on that nice Mr. Bannon! He's so smart! Let's see … something for women ... Ivantalot. I'm surrounded by idiots ... Oooh ... Free panty hose for all women ... Ivantabankalot. Idiot number one ... Well, well, hard at work I see ... Yup! And listen to this idea, Steve ... Ivantabank.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-04 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-04 Pub. Date: 2016-09-04
Image Number: 148381
Caption: The man said this would get me a great job, and make me feel real good about myself African Americans for Trump.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-19 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-19 Pub. Date: 2016-08-19
Image Number: 147651
Caption: Trump Brings In Roger Ailes and Kellyanne Conway. Ok, now I want you two to get going right away. Get this campaign back on track. Use your skills. Let's go, go, go! Right away, boss. So Kellyanne, you like older fat guys?
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-08 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147284
Caption: A-Rod Leaves the Yankees. Hey, can a couple of you guys help me get this out to my car? Could I get a little cooperation? A little teamwork? Hmmm? Anybody else? Good-bye party for A-Rod. Please sign if you intend to go.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-06-30 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-06-30 Pub. Date: 2016-06-30
Image Number: 146013
Caption: Regular Republican waiting for Donald Trump to pivot into a more presidential mode. Hey! Tugboat! Yeah, you! Can we get some freakin' food here? What is this? A freakin' fat camp? And I want some classier waitresses. Like some with really great boobalulus, ya know? Like some bodacious tatas, cause that's what I like. But don't touch me.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-06 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-06 Pub. Date: 2015-10-06
Image Number: 133628
Caption: South Carolina Searches for Answers. Oh, lord, we have sinned! (Well, not us, but all those homosexuals getting married.) And floods cometh down as recompense!! Now, we'll rescue you, but you must agree that this had nothing to do with global warming. Not in an election year ... Lindsey Graham is here who says it's true. What's next, senator? I dunno ... frogs? You Republicans? US Navy.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-12 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-12 Pub. Date: 2015-08-12
Image Number: 131219
Caption: Megyn Kelly Getting Death Threats Over at Fox News. Look at this, Mr. Ailes, another death threat! And Roger you spelled my name wrong. Megan, Leave Trump alone or die.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-08-10 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-08-10 Pub. Date: 2015-08-10
Image Number: 131110
Caption: Trump Sleeps. Of course I was right about that but the stupid reporters don't realize I am smarter than them and they fail and I win and that's why People love me cause I am a genius. I am worth eleven billion dollars and I always come out ahead and Bonk! Marla gave me this. She said it was the only way I'd get any sleep.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-25 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-25 Pub. Date: 2015-05-25
Image Number: 128858
Caption: Defense Secretary Ashton Carter (No Military Experience Himself) Yells at the Iraqis. Get up and fight, you cowards! Have you lost the will to get yourselves killed? Don't they know this is an election year?
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-05-07 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-05-07 Pub. Date: 2015-05-07
Image Number: 127350
Caption: Things Looking Doubtful for the House of Assad. You think you've won? You just wait 'til my friend Vladimir Putin hears about this! Hello! You've reached the office of Vladimir Putin. Your call is very important to us, but all our operators are busy helping other murdering bastards. So if you leave your name someone will get back to you, one of these days, some day, sooner or later ....
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-04-28 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-04-28 Pub. Date: 2015-04-28
Image Number: 126770
Caption: Same Sex Marriage Perplexes Supreme Court Right Wing. Good lord, Clarence, this would mean that even you and I could get married? You mean we're not?
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-01-24 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-01-24 Pub. Date: 2015-01-24
Image Number: 122635
Caption: Senator Rubio in Iowa. Jose, this here's Senator Rubio. He's gonna send all the illegals back home. Should I vote for him? Only if you want to get up at four in the morning and do farm work for minimum wage.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-01-23 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-01-23 Pub. Date: 2015-01-23
Image Number: 122303
Caption: In Albany, Governor Cuomo Stands by His Friend Sheldon Silver. Don't worry, Shelly, I'll get me out of this in no time. Acme rat trap.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-01-04 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-01-04 Pub. Date: 2015-01-04
Image Number: 121200
Caption: In California, Chickens Must Get New Larger Living Space. Well, of course this means a total redecoration. You don't want to block the front window, my dear ... A bit to the right, no, no ... too much ... Ooh, they have this in eggshell. IKEA. Pottery Barn. That divan would need all new drapes. I know, you can't just do part of the space. I just ask myself what would Martha Stewart do if she was a chicken.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-12-05 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-12-05 Pub. Date: 2014-12-05
Image Number: 120065
Caption: Experts Weigh In on Why the Eric Garner Death Was Legal. Congressman Peter King. Eric Garner was obese Fox Commentator Sean Hannity. He hit the police with his trachea Former Mayor Rudy Guiliani. He was resisting arrest. That's why his hands were up. Former Police Commissioner and felon Bernard Kerik. The things happen. Get over it. Senator Rand Paul. Well, obviously, the liberals put a high tax on cigarettes. And that's why he was selling individual cigarettes, and so that's why he was committing a crime and so this is the fault of Obama and so I should be president ... or President. Peter King Again ... and Eric Garner had Asthma. I almost forgot.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-11-18 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-11-18 Pub. Date: 2014-11-18
Image Number: 119499
Caption: Prince William and his wife visit the city hoping to get a real New York breakfast. I say, I'm you know, Prince Willian from over in the Youkay visiting your great city and that's my wife. She's a duchess. I'm going to have a baby. That's wonderful get in line. So what. Can we hurry this up? So where's yer freakin' crown? Hey, ma, it;s like the queen or somethin'. Ok, move along folks, nothin' to see here. Gimme a bagel with a schmear. Quawitz? Oy, a woman. Hey, I'm next. Sault heah please. Sault is very bad fuh you. Behind you. Beside you. To be or not to be.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-03 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-06-03 Pub. Date: 2014-06-03
Image Number: 112247
Caption: Hillary Seen Spending More Time Around the White House These Day. Sir, this is the new cleaning lady, Mrs. H. Clinton. She'll be quiet as a mouse, won't get in the way, you won't even know she's here Hoover.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-04-15 get this 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-04-15 Pub. Date: 2014-04-15
Image Number: 110343
Caption: The Traditional GOP Wants to Reach Out to Women. Of course my dear, you are more than welcome at the Republican Club And get us some coffee Naturally you'll want to ask your husband about this first. You know, my mother was a Republican. Ike. So um ... did it hurt? Um ... I mean, when you fell from heaven? Heh? Hi!
     
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