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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about getting old.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (56 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-26 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165380
Caption: Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I -- Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-14 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-14 Pub. Date: 2017-11-14
Image Number: 164883
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: I'm really excited about being old enough (13) to have my own cellphone soon. But my dad won't get me the iPhone X. He'll only get me an Android. Yuck. SMH. How do I get him to understand how much that's going to ruin my life so that he'll get me the X? HMB, Charlotte. I would like modern society to reconsider its freakish aversion to corporal punishment! I mean l ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-05 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-05 Pub. Date: 2017-11-05
Image Number: 164017
Caption: What can I get you? The pumpernickel sriracha margarita mocha sounds good. Ok. Can I get you anything else, ma'am? Yes. An explanation of the Fermi paradox. Would you like the most common explanation, or the latest explanation? The latest would be lovely. Despite knowing there are trillions of planets out there, we haven't seen any evidence of alien life because we're part of a simulation. We exist on the computer of someone living in a higher reality. The limits of our knowledge are dictated by the sophistication of the guy's program. He's been steadily upgrading the program. That's why the Hubble telescope "discovered" all those "old" galaxies, and that's why we've "discovered" thousands of new planets. We'll "discover" aliens as soon as the guy running our simulation gets around to installing the "alien life" expansion pack. I meant to ask for that "to go."
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-18 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163917
Caption: I can watch tv anywhere I bet that blows your mind. Why's that, loser? Tap tap tap tap. Because in your day, a televisions was a 5-ton steam-powered machine. You had to crank a handle to make it run … and "running" meant a curtain would open and two old-timey people in the box would act out a silent tv show. Wait ... are you trying to insult me ... or are you getting your history from Youtube again? "Buck-Naked Historian" has 5 million subscribers, so it must be accurate.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-06 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-06 Pub. Date: 2017-09-06
Image Number: 162350
Caption: Sadie, you might be able to settle a scientific question. You can not get under my skin, loser. They just cut down a huge Redwood tree. It's got 3,200 rings in it. I'm not even listening. Is it true every ring represents a year? You must know, since you were around when that tree was born. Hey everyone, she says it's true. When I'm don with my meatloaf, let's find out how old you are. Munch mun -
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-20 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-20 Pub. Date: 2017-08-20
Image Number: 161181
Caption: Get outta here I'm busy! Got outta here I'm busy! Open Mike Night Presents Kids 3-5. Watch what you want! Watch what you want! Got my glock, an' my dollars, got my glock and' my dollars! A got seven baby mamas, I got seven baby mamas! All them (censored) on my (censored). All them (censored) on my (censored). Okay, thank you! Lots of talent here tonight, so let's keep it moving. And parents, pay attention to what your three-year-olds are watching. Okay, who's next?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-11 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-11 Pub. Date: 2017-08-11
Image Number: 161301
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? The White House just fired me, and … Excellent question. It reminds me of the year 1950. I was baby-sitting some little snot-nosed four-year-old in Queens, NY. The little orange-haired tyke was pretending his teddy bear, "Rosebud," was his employee. After a while, he got bored and asked me if Rosebud would cry if he stopped playing with him. I said "Who cares?! He's just a toy! He has not feelings! When you're bored of him, just fire him! You don't owe him any loyalty!" I accept no responsibility for anything that may or may not have stemmed from that! Wait ... What? Back up ...
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-16 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159829
Caption: Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … Without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I heard that!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in history. I witnessed most of it. And I took notes!! I've taken up "Sadie-taunting." You'd be better off with the alligators.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-09 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159560
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Hello handsome Sadie, It's Timona here greeting you from Kiev, Ukraine. Yeah we are in great political turmoil right now, but I will let you in on a secret since we are old friends. Now is the best time for to invest in the Ukraine real estate. In 2005, for inspect, a 71 sq. meter abode sold for $7,500 US Dollars. Today it sell for at only $1,100 US Dollars. Lovely school for to nearby, as well as charming Mall within walking distance with has all the conveniences. Keep this amazing opportunity quiet. I only tell YOU because of that time we made that amazing connection. You friend, Timona. Click here for to house buy. Excellent questions. I get letters like this all the time ever since I publicly announced my email address. It reminds me of the time I hired a 17-year-old nerd to track down a spammer's true IP address, name, birthdate, physical address, and bank account number ... and shipped the spammer two tons of manure purchased with his entire life savings. It cost me a vinyl record, a Mountain Dew and a crate of Cheetos, but it was worth it. Ask Sadie a question (but be careful) at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-23 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-23 Pub. Date: 2017-06-23
Image Number: 159404
Caption: Where's my nephew, Rudy? Haven't seen him in weeks. He just texted me a minute ago. He said "the elf army let us go. I ran into my old buddy. Russian contact arranged boat to motherland … Please feed all my Sims." If that's not his idea of guy-code for "don't bother me, I'm getting lucky," he's probably had a stroke or something. Oh no, then it had to be a stroke!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-25 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-25 Pub. Date: 2017-05-25
Image Number: 158355
Caption: Federal Agent Murph … just so I get this straight, I'm not a suspect in the potential Russian blackmailing of the president? Of course not. I'm counting on you to cover it. As a journalist. I suspect my superiors are caving to pressure from the White House. My investigation may hit a brick wall. So the press may be our only hope to at least get it all out there. And since the suspect Rudy Park is your old roomie, I figured you'd want to be the one to tail him to Moscow. Then why am I tied up in the back of your van mphmph. Figured you'd like a ride to the airport. You're welcome.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-28 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-28 Pub. Date: 2017-04-28
Image Number: 157300
Caption: Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-17 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157024
Caption: Hello, this is cable news. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. Our records show you didn't click on a single clip of the missiles our navy shot at Syria. I didn't what on the what now? We bought your complete web browsing history from your internet service provider. How could you resist watching all those beautiful instruments of death and destruction soar into the night sky. House of Java Cybercafe. Get out of my computer machine! What's with all your visits to old-biddies-doing-yoga-dot-com? ... Freak.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-29 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-29 Pub. Date: 2017-03-29
Image Number: 156205
Caption: I heard the world has entered the sixth great extinction. So what?! Well, I was just thinking maybe you should go on tv and share your wisdom. Tell us all how you survived the last great extinction. You've got nothing to worry about. 65 million years ago, an asteroid wiped out almost all the majestic life on earth ... but the apocalypse didn't bother with the tiny wimpy protomonkeys. So you'll be fine. Tell us how the mean-o-sauruses survived.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-04 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-04 Pub. Date: 2017-01-04
Image Number: 152863
Caption: All I said was, thanks to Sadie, I know what's wrong with the Middle East. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. It's the birthplace of civilization. It's the dysfunctional family home from whence we all came. It's ruled by a stubborn and cranky old know-it-all mother with a superiority complex. She never changes, which is why the kids, once they came of age, got the heck outta there and only come by once in a while to referee her arguments with dad and make sure they're still in her will ... and for some reason, that upset her. This means jihad.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-22 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-22 Pub. Date: 2016-12-22
Image Number: 152378
Caption: You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Medicare. I heard Congress may gut it. But I can't afford insurance. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a rodeo clown in Texas, in the early fifties. There was this man who came to every show in a futile pursuit of affections. I told him "I'll go out with you as soon as you provide healthcare for every old person in America." Years later, he came to me and said "How about now?" and I said "I was only joshing, Lyndon. Get lost." Um ... ok ... thanks.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-04 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 150908
Caption: I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. Rriiing! Rriiing! Rriiing! If it's Sinbad, tell him I'm not here! No deal.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-19 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-19 Pub. Date: 2016-11-19
Image Number: 151041
Caption: I never asked you, what'd you do with that old shack you bought years ago? Which one? I've bought three. I have a whole portfolio of properties, Randy. Really? Yeah. There's the old shack by the toxic waste dump, there's the cardboard box in an alley in downtown Candorville, and there's that inner tube in the Pacific Ocean. Sad thing is, the way things are going, you're going to make a killing on those someday. You should see what I'm getting for those on AirBnB.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-16 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-16 Pub. Date: 2016-11-16
Image Number: 151038
Caption: I've always been the good, law-abiding, non-threatening guy. And that's gotten old. Maybe it's time for me to be an outlaw. Maybe it's time to grow big mutton chops and long hair, let my skin get all grizzled and leathery, and ride a Harley into infamy. You can't just change your persona like you change your underwear. Say that to my mutton chops, you punkish ... punk.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-04 get old 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-04 Pub. Date: 2016-11-04
Image Number: 150487
Caption: You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Someone gave my toddler a cookie. Now that's all he'll eat. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a small child. One day, eccentric old Adelaide Chestersmithe down the street fed me a marmalade cookie. I was hooked. Mother Cohen exacted revenge by feeding laxatives to Mrs. Chestersmithe's pet orangutan. To put it mildly, she got her point across: Never give anyone's kid a "treat" without permission. Um ... Ok ... Thanks.
     
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