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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (41 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-30 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-30 Pub. Date: 2017-08-30
Image Number: 162089
Caption: What do you mean you don't take Joss Whedon's ex-wife's article at face value? She wrote that he cheated on her for years. That settles everything. No it doesn't. All we heard is her side of the story. And she said at one point she moved away from her personal values to get closer to him. What does that mean. I'll tell you what it might mean: It might mean she knew more than she's letting on, but she was ok with it all the way until he decided to divorce her. Only then did she go back and rewrite history to portray herself as the totally unsuspecting victim. Is this about how your ex lied to the court about you? Is this about how your ex cheated on you?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-07 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-07 Pub. Date: 2017-07-07
Image Number: 159983
Caption: Ok Ace … I'm coming out. I'll stop pushing you away. I promise I won't let my fear or anything else get in the way of whatever it is you wanted to talk about. Marry me. Susan Ometeotl Garcia, will you m … Marry me. Dios mio! That's Lemont's girlfriend! With some other guy! You're trying my patience.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-25 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-25 Pub. Date: 2017-04-25
Image Number: 157285
Caption: Susan called 911 on me, Clyde. She was trying to get them to come take me in for a heart attack she thought I was having. But they put her on hold. And after a while, she sort of fell asleep and I sort of snuck away. Whachoomean "sort of," Big L? Ain't no such thing as "sort of." Somethin' either be or be not, bruh. One ambulance ride and one day in the hospital would eat up my whole life savings. Dead people ain't got no life savings, bruh.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-16 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-16 Pub. Date: 2017-04-16
Image Number: 156261
Caption: I read your article about the "Russian-y Hall" scandal. I have a question. Fire away, Susan. Why "Russian-y Hall"? Why not "Russiagate"? That's your question? Not "How did you find out all that info about Trump's staffers colluding with Russia?" Not "How did you get all those interviews with the Russians who bought hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of Trump real estate in Florida?" (Sigh) ... Fine ... The Trump scandals are more reminiscent of the 19th century Tammany Hall corruption than they are of Watergate. I explained all that in the first paragraph. I thought you said you read the article! Well, I sort of didn't go any further than the "Russian-y Hall or Russian-Pot Dome?" headline.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-13 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-13 Pub. Date: 2016-04-13
Image Number: 141798
Caption: I've been looking for you all day, Clyde. I'm in hiding, bruh. My phone be ringin' off the hook. People be bangin' on my door an whatnot askin' me for favors. Sometimes the only way a brotha can get some peace an' quiet is to run far away. I still have no idea how you came to be a superdelegate. It all started back in sixth grade when I set up that "Alibis Provided for $2" stand near city hall.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-15 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-15 Pub. Date: 2015-12-15
Image Number: 136531
Caption: I think people just talk too much about Donald Trump. Maybe if we all just ignore him, he'll go away. I know what you mean, Susan. I've had this lump on my (censored) for about three years now. At first I was worried about it, and it seemed to get bigger and bigger. But a few months ago I started ignoring it, and now I have no idea whether it's even still there. Dios mio, Lemont ... you should really go get that checked. No way! If I don't know about it, it can't hurt me.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-02 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-02 Pub. Date: 2015-12-02
Image Number: 135925
Caption: How do they get away with these despicable, monstrous lies? Donald Trump says he witnessed thousands of Arabs in New Jersey cheering as the Twin Towers fell on 9/11. And Ben Carson says he saw "newsreels" of that too. That never happened. We all remember what it was like that day. Crowds of Arab-Americans were not out in the streets of New Jersey cheering. To be fair, Trump and Carson were talking about the Arabs who live in their heads. Trump and Carson's head-Arabs aren't half as scary as they are.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-28 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-28 Pub. Date: 2015-09-28
Image Number: 133082
Caption: Yogi Berra passed away, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Was there a landslide in Jellystone Park or some @#$% like that? What Boo Boo gonna do now? I don't know 'bout you, but I don't like when cartoons get all serious an' whatnot just to boost ratings. I'm talking about the baseball player and war veteran! He was in a war? What, was the Adult Swim version or something?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-20 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-20 Pub. Date: 2015-08-20
Image Number: 131277
Caption: I'd hate to be Bill if Bernie takes the nomination away from Hillary. How do you comfort your spouse when she gets trounced by obscure guys who came out of nowhere Twice? She's grown. She'd get over it. He'd have to make sure he never said the words "tortoise" or "hare" again.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-30 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-30 Pub. Date: 2015-06-30
Image Number: 129037
Caption: An 11-year-old boy was playing in his yard for 90 minutes after the school bus dropped him off because his parents were stuck in traffic and couldn't get home to let him in. They were thrown in jail, charged with a felony, and their kids were taken away. When you have for-profit prisons, there's a lot of incentive to fill them by any means necessary. I still say if your son's never had a peanut butter sandwich, go ahead and make him one. If he turns out to have an allergy, they'd probably charge me with attempted murder.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-16 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-16 Pub. Date: 2015-06-16
Image Number: 128377
Caption: I just read yet another article about teenage girls running away to join ISIS. It turns out that when ISIS advertises for new recruits on social media, they forget to mention the part about how they sell girls into slavery for as little as a pack of cigarettes. If the world can't beat them on the battlefield, maybe we can get them on false advertising. We got Al Capone on tax evasion, you know.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-08 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-08 Pub. Date: 2015-05-08
Image Number: 126509
Caption: Astronomers found what might be a livable planet just 12 light-years away. Don't you know what this means? It don't mean nothing to you an' me. We can't even get 12 blocks 'cause this bus never show, an' you wanna go 12,000 miles. 12 light-years is not 12,000 miles. Oh, ok. So when you going? Next Tuesday? (This cartoon was originally published on 2013/04/19).
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-26 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124644
Caption: If you could go back in time ten years, but you couldn't come back, and you would not be ten years younger would you do it? Only if I were an idiot. But if you went into the past, you could invest wisely and get rich. Yeah, but I'd die ten years earlier. We may only be decades away from figuring out how to end aging, or how to upload our consciousness to immortal android bodies. If I die ten years early, I might miss out on that. You know that stuff would only be for rich people, right? I've got $8,000 in an IRA.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-22 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-22 Pub. Date: 2015-02-22
Image Number: 122695
Caption: "Your thigh bone's connected to your hip bone Your shoulder bone's connected to your neck bone Your neck bone's connected to your head bone Now hear the word of the Lord!" James Weldon Johnson wrote that almost 100 years ago. Yeah, well I still don't see why it's James Weldon Johnson's fault you just had to pay $5,000 to get your teeth fixed. It's obvious, Lemont. For 100 years, they've been indoctrinating us at an early age into not considering teeth to be an integral part of the body. That's what lets health insurance get away with not covering dental. I bet the HMOs paid the guy not to even mention the tooth bone. It's the only explanation for such a glaring omission. First of all, I'm not sure "tooth bone" is a thing ... which is proof that a century of brainwashing works.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-23 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-23 Pub. Date: 2015-01-23
Image Number: 121835
Caption: Lemont accidentally gets through to FedHex customer service. According to tracking info, you guys are sending my delivery to the wrong place. This isn't supposed to happen, sir. How did you get our phone number? I found it on a cached web page from six years ago. Anyhow, you're sending it to Brown, MI. "Brown" is my last name, not my city. We'll take care of it: We'll take that cached web page down right away. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-05).
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-15 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-15 Pub. Date: 2014-09-15
Image Number: 116478
Caption: I'm kind of disappointed in Apple's new smart watch. It's a rectangle. That's so 1980s. Watches are pretty much the only jewelry a hairy-chested man can get away with wearing without looking like he's in the mafia. This watch just doesnt work as man jewelry. It's too old-fashioned. You know what I'm saying? You sayin' you wanna feel better about the fact you can't afford that watch.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-19 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-19 Pub. Date: 2013-04-19
Image Number: 95774
Caption: Astronomers found what might be a livable planet just 12 light-years away. Thug 4 Life. Dont you know what this means? It dont mean nothing to you an' me. We can't even get 12 blocks 'cause this bus never show, an' you wanna go 12,000 miles. 12 light-years is not 12,000 miles. Oh, ok. So when you going? Next Tuesday?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-05 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-05 Pub. Date: 2013-01-05
Image Number: 91703
Caption: Lemont accidentally gets through to Fedhex customer service. According to tracking info, you guys are sending my delivery to the wrong place. This isn't supposed to happen, sir. How did you get our phone number? I found it on a cached web page from six years ago. Anyhow, you're sending it to Brown, MI. "Brown" is my last name, not my city. We'll take care of it; We'll take that cached web page down right away.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-15 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-15 Pub. Date: 2012-01-15
Image Number: 74809
Caption: When I was a kid, astronomers doubted whether there were planets anywhere other than our own solar system. Now we've found hundreds, and evidence is mounting that there may be two billion earth-like planets in our galaxy alone. We just found one that's only 600 light-years away. Life is tenacious. It pops up everywhere. Even on my shower curtain. Odds are, these 2 billion earths have life on them, and this one that's 600 light-years away ... We have the knowledge right now to create a generational ship that could get people there in less than 1,000 years, if we wanted to. It used to be insane to believe there's alien life out there ... no it's insane not to believe it. I call dibs on their natural resources. You should call dibs on cleaning your shower curtain.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-14 get away 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-14 Pub. Date: 2012-01-14
Image Number: 75073
Caption: Your ex is filthy rich. Very old money. Possibly billions. Well can't she give you child support? Every time I try to ask her, I just can't get the words out, and end up walking away fast. Either I have too much pride, or That's it. But I haven't even gotten into my theory about her being a master hypnotist. Dios mio.
     
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