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Rudy Park

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41. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-17 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155668
Caption: You are not allowed to join the army, little buddy. You don't want me getting hurt in war? I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business taking on terrorists. For your information, you're looking at the World Lightweight Champion of Thumb Wrestling, fourteen years running. Not at all the same thing. And my mom said playing video games would never take me anywhere.
     
42. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-26 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-26 Pub. Date: 2017-01-26
Image Number: 153710
Caption: I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hope "The Midnight Sun" is one of them. That was a sexy episode.
     
43. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-13 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152123
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.
     
44. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-02 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-02 Pub. Date: 2016-11-02
Image Number: 150485
Caption: Minion, how would you like a promotion? Impostor! It's been a long time coming, but I've finally signed more than a dozen franchise agreements. And I'll like you to train all the managers. They'll be paying you the franchise fee in sacks of unmarked bills. Oh, and if they act like they think you're from Starbucks, go along with it. It's just a little game franchisees like to play. VERY BAD MAN.
     
45. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-23 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-23 Pub. Date: 2016-09-23
Image Number: 148783
Caption: Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You ok in there? I think I'm dying here. What? D'you need me to call 911? I don't think that'll help. I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city. Get off your phone!!! I'm saving the kingdom here! It's important!
     
46. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-23 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-23 Pub. Date: 2016-08-23
Image Number: 147675
Caption: Sadie, they just found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we’ve discovered in my lifetime. It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are … unless they've got telescopes. It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus. I see you're bringing what passes for your A-game today.
     
47. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-20 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-20 Pub. Date: 2016-08-20
Image Number: 147402
Caption: My favorite tea: Hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments.
     
48. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-03 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-03 Pub. Date: 2016-08-03
Image Number: 146702
Caption: I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game … because paying for your mental health care would violate my religious beliefs, and the supreme court said I don't have to do that. I dressed my pikemen in black.
     
49. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-01 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-01 Pub. Date: 2016-08-01
Image Number: 146700
Caption: I'm sorry, can you repeat your order? Why? Because when I was about to hit "new order," an alert popped up … telling me my city was being marched on by an enemy alliance. Naturally, I had to launch the game and send all my troops, hero and resources to hide in Bajor, a friendly neighboring city. Congratulations! your troops have DESTROYED Bajor. This is probably how the Israeli-Palestinian thing started. What? Where's my coffee?!
     
50. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-27 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-27 Pub. Date: 2016-07-27
Image Number: 146484
Caption: Little buddy, I believe you owe me an apology. How do you figure? You're the one who left me rotting in a jail cell! You were my one phone call! What happened to Randy's Friendship Rule #7: "Friends always bail friends out"?! You're forgetting the corollary: "Unless the friend's in jail for something pathetic, like trespassing while playing Pokémon Go." Apology accepted. A huge biker took it the wrong way when I tried to catch a Pokémon that was hiding under his beard.
     
51. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-26 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-26 Pub. Date: 2016-07-26
Image Number: 146483
Caption: Where's my nephew? I haven't seen Rudy in days. He's in jail. He called me to bail him out, but I just can't. What?! What did he do? Did he steal something? Did he hurt someone? What did my nephew do?! And how could you leave him in jail?! Why didn't you bail him out?! He broke into the mayor's house and rooted around his underwear drawer looking for a rare "Pokémon Go" character. Say no more. Please.
     
52. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-14 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-14 Pub. Date: 2016-07-14
Image Number: 145831
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
53. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-10 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144704
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions.
     
54. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-11 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-11 Pub. Date: 2016-06-11
Image Number: 144242
Caption: I'll admit, yesterday I was off my game. I made a rookie mistake and you bested me, nemesis. But I'll take comfort in the fact that the internet has ruined your ability to convert short-term memories into long-term ones. Today's Special Latte + 1hr web $12.50. You won't recall minute details of your day ... All you'll remember are the parts that stick out most, such as me yelling ... you're such a loser! Joke's on you, I won't even remember that.
     
55. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-07 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-07 Pub. Date: 2016-06-07
Image Number: 144238
Caption: Everything in life is a stepping stone to something better, little buddy. I know exactly what you mean, Randy. It's like when I first played Nintendo's Duck Hunt.
     
56. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-17 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-17 Pub. Date: 2016-05-17
Image Number: 143351
Caption: We found three sort-of earth-size planets around a nearby star. Do you think any of them have video games? I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an XBox controller. Proof of video games would change everything. I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy. Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species.
     
57. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-14 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-14 Pub. Date: 2016-05-14
Image Number: 143044
Caption: You're gonna love this, little buddy. What? The company that makes the "Call of Duty" game licensed my life story. The game will be just like a first-person shooter … only instead of search-and-kill ops … your missions consist of charming your way through life and avoiding serious romantic entanglements.
     
58. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-06 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-06 Pub. Date: 2016-05-06
Image Number: 142740
Caption: Wanna come over and watch the big game? No can do, little buddy. Baseball is a gentleman's sport where they tap a tiny ball and then trot around. I don't consider any game a "big game" unless there's a chance one player could accidentally squeeze another player's spine out of his nose like toothpaste from a tube. Beach volleyball is also watchable. I was actually talking about the new "Pac-Man Vs. Superman" X-Box game.
     
59. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-15 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-15 Pub. Date: 2016-04-15
Image Number: 141818
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-bert … He'd tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
60. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-07 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-07 Pub. Date: 2016-03-07
Image Number: 140197
Caption: Where would you spend your honeymoon? Skyrim, no contest. First, my lady and I would climb the 1,000 snow-covered steps to the summit of the mountain overlooking High Hrothgar … where we'd witness the distant castle glowing silver and blue in the light of the sunrise ... as several planets hover in the morning sky. Please tell me you're not talking about some place in a video game. I'd have chosen the rolling fields of Mulgore, but that's got too many bloodthirsty orcs.
     
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