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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (69 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-29 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-29 Pub. Date: 2017-09-29
Image Number: 163101
Caption: How 'bout that Chokers game? The Candorville Chokers might go all the way this year. Whachoocare? What do you mean "What do I care?" Haven't you got any civic pride, son? They're our hometown team. They're our boys. They a bunch of grown-!@#$ men runnin' 'round in a circle for millions of dollars. Ain't nary a one of them even from here. That pitcher Fernando Maldonado only speak German. In the winter we play for Cameroon. If you don't like small talk, just say so!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-17 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-17 Pub. Date: 2017-09-17
Image Number: 162145
Caption: Want to catch up on "Game of Thrones"? What I wanna watch that for? TV supposed to be an escape. Huh? It's a show set in some medieval world called "Westeros" where they've got knights and dragons and magic. How's that not an "escape"? They got any black people on Westeros? Of course they do. A whole bunch of them ... Well, a couple. What is they on the show? They knights? They kings? Queens? They ride dragons? They make magic happen? Um ... well ... not ex -- You see they work for the one who rides ... and you know one of them isn't a knight, but he's a soldier. Not everything has to be about race, you know. They slaves, ain't they? No. They started as slaves, then, am I right? Wanna watch "Westworld"?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-06 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-06 Pub. Date: 2017-06-06
Image Number: 158826
Caption: To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. What're you up to these days, Brother Park? That depends. If we're talking the SimCity game I began back when we were in college in '93 … I'm up to 14 linked quad-core RAID devices that take up the whole basement. That's not what I meant. It's costing me a fortune, but I've been playing the same game for so long that I'm pretty sure my 59 billion Sims have become sentient and worship me as a deity. I meant how do you spend your time these days? Working. I've got 59 billion mouths to feed. Tap tap tap tap.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-04 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-04 Pub. Date: 2017-04-04
Image Number: 156466
Caption: Good game, Big L. You only put it in the wrong basket once. I was preoccupied, Clyde. Taxes are due. If I take too many deductions, my income'll look tiny and I won't qualify for a mortgage. I see, bruh. When we was kids, your excuse was "the sun was in my eyes." Also, I saw an unfamiliar mole and wondered if it was malignant.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-13 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-13 Pub. Date: 2017-02-13
Image Number: 154532
Caption: Sometimes America really disappoints me, Susan. Remember that Super Bowl commercial where the kid says he'll never be this and never do that, because he died in an avoidable childhood accident? My reaction was "with all these people watching … that commercial is probably going to save some child's life." America's reaction was "Hey! Save a kid some other time, I'm trying to eat a nacho here." I'm paraphrasing ... barely.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-29 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-29 Pub. Date: 2017-01-29
Image Number: 153149
Caption: It all started back in college when I bought a copy of "Mimic City." It was cheap: About 20 simoleons. Dr. Noodle. I played it night and day. When "Mimic City 2" came out, I rushed out to buy it. And every few years a newer, better one would come out. Every iteration was more advanced than the last. The little mimics who populated Mimic City came to seem more and more real. They had jobs, and love lives, and had mimic kids, and grew old. Eventually, I started to wonder: If my mimics behave as if they're real ... what if they actually believe they're real? Would that make me their God? And, if they think they're real ... what if I only THINK I'm real? What if I and everyone else in Simkind are actually living in some game called "Sim City"? Not to self: Stop self-medicating, and just to be sure, delete games from phone. Thank you, Almighty Noodle, for listening to my prayers. Amen.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-11 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-11 Pub. Date: 2017-01-11
Image Number: 153088
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was playing "Simcity" the other day when it occurred to me … We may all be just a computer simulation. There's evidence of that everywhere. All computer programs have glitches, for instance. We see those glitches all the time. We call them "deja vu." I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before. I knew you were going to say that.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-30 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-30 Pub. Date: 2016-12-30
Image Number: 152628
Caption: Ever since I got back from Canada, I've felt like I'm just drifting through my days. Dr. Noodle. Like yesterday, I was interviewing a source I'll call "Deep Throat" at a big pharmaceutical company who told me they're purposely trying to spread the opioid addiction problem to other countries ... because getting people to become dependent on opioid painkillers here has been so profitable. But I ended up just taking Deep Throat to a hockey game. That's normal. For non-Trump-voters, thinking of Canada is a good substitute for opioids.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-11 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-11 Pub. Date: 2016-11-11
Image Number: 150716
Caption: 1982. How come you never play Dracula tag with us at school? It's exciting! You start out with one person being "it," then whoever he tags is "it" also. And whoever they tag next is also "it," and so on. Before long, you have a whole yard of dozens of bloodthirsty vampires chasing the one lone survivor. That's scary! Momma says it prepares girls for dating. Don't look at me, I almost never understand what momma says, either.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-10 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-10 Pub. Date: 2016-09-10
Image Number: 148219
Caption: I have to admit, Big L, you gettin' better. You made two shots in the right basket. I was proud, bruh. I was in the zone. It was like I was a leaf blowing on the wind. A pebble floating in the river Almost nobody even laughed this time when you tried to dunk an' missed the rim. You noticed that?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-09 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-09 Pub. Date: 2016-09-09
Image Number: 148218
Caption: I think my son's ready to learn a sport. Whachoo gon' teach him, Lemont? You gon' teach him to bounce the ball off his foot an' chase after it 'fore it go in the street? Or you gon' teach him to get the ball swatted out his hand when he try to shoot? Or you gon' teach him to miss the rim an' the backboard altogether? None of that has ever happened. In the same game. You gon' teach him to make his one an' only shot in the wrong basket?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-27 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-27 Pub. Date: 2016-08-27
Image Number: 147667
Caption: What do you see when you look at the clouds, Lemont? I see a wait I see a pigeon picking a fight with a drone. This game was a lot more relaxing in the twentieth century, Susan. That drone is pretty feisty.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-30 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-30 Pub. Date: 2016-07-30
Image Number: 146475
Caption: I'm not the most confident guy. How can I build up my confidence? Simple. Interrupt erebody. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. When you interrupt people in mid-sentence, it ruin they confidence. Throws them off they game. Then they even less confident than you. So what you're saying it, don't worry about building myself up, just tear the other guy down. That'll be $2.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-15 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-15 Pub. Date: 2016-07-15
Image Number: 145820
Caption: I'm not mad at you so much as I'm disappointed in you, Lemont. Oh come on, Susan, Clinton is fair game. I'm so tired of that. People just love what I write when I go after a politician they hate. But as soon as I go after one they like, they're "disappointed." Nobody likes to see their own sacred cow barbecued. Last time I used that analogy, I got tons of "disappointed" letter from both the Cow Advocacy Society and the Barbecuers Guild. Dios mio.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-02 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-02 Pub. Date: 2016-07-02
Image Number: 145233
Caption: I own several properties, bruh. I got a booth in a recording studio I won in a game of dominoes, I got my apartment I won in a game of dice I got 42 houses I bought in Flint, MI, for $28 Whachoo think America would say 'bout me if I ran for president, held events at my own properties, an' then used people' campaign donations to pay myself $1 million in rent? They'd just say the same thing they say about Trump, that's it's perfectly legal. Thelma Jr. Bruh, have you met America?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-29 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-29 Pub. Date: 2016-06-29
Image Number: 145230
Caption: What do you see when you look at that cloud, Susan? I see and old-school Cadillac. Looks like it has a flat. Two flats. And that other cloud looks like it's repossessing it. There's a cloud that looks like a doctor performing a colonoscopy. Maybe we're too old for this game. That cloud looks like a man being audited.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-21 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-21 Pub. Date: 2016-05-21
Image Number: 143337
Caption: I took Lionel to his second baseball game the other day. We hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game in two years. Back then, two Choker dogs, cokes and fries cost me $38. Last night it cost me $48. Back then, all the players were like 10 years younger than I was. But now they are all like 15 years younger. Having a kid speeds up the aging process. Baseball still around?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-24 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-24 Pub. Date: 2016-03-24
Image Number: 140811
Caption: Last night, I couldn't wait till my toddler went to sleep so I could relax and watch tv in peace. But once he fell asleep, I missed him so much that I watched his favorite shows till I fell asleep too. I could've watched "Game of Thrones" or a racy movie ... but I watched "Thomas the Train." ... for three hours, Susan. What's wrong with me? Reason #485 why I will never have kids. "Thomas the Train" is actually a pretty subversive show, when you think about it.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-18 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-18 Pub. Date: 2016-03-18
Image Number: 140513
Caption: I agree with Clyde, the Republicans are going to win big this year. Fear. Unlimited funds. Gerrymandering voting districts All the pieces are in place for a checkmate in six moves, followed by the traditional pantsing of the loser. Thanks for reminding me why I never play chess with you.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-18 game 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135315
Caption: Whachoo gon' do for Thanksgiving, Big L? Visit momma. Lionel's almost three, and she hasn't seen him in months. She's going to be so surprised when I show up with my boy, a turkey dinner and flowers. She ain't know you comin'? What if she ain't there? Well, then me missing Thanksgiving would be HER fault ... and the only logical thing for Lionel and me to do would be to camp out at the theater and wait 'till "Star Wars" opens. I see what game you runnin' bruh. You ain't slick.
     
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