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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-09 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-09 Pub. Date: 2018-07-09
Image Number: 172759
Caption: Still no word from Mort? Nothing. Are you worried. Worried? Am I worried that Mort's lost somewhere on a van trip with vagrants like Rudy and Randy? Am I worried? Actually, what I'm think I'm feeling is hunger. Well, I'm worried! No Rudy means no service!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172239
Caption: You're in big, big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break. I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare I?! Look! … making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years ... How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was good to you, filthbag! Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-01 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172751
Caption: You're in big trouble, you old coot. Give me a break, I'm clean. But you won't be. Meaning what? You won't get away with it. You will pay dearly for your eventual infidelities! How dare you! How dare it! LOOK! Making it Larry King's seventh divorce and further accusations of cheating on the part of a man well into his sunset years. How could you? I will not distance myself from CNN. And to think I was so good to you, filthbag. Larry, you're killing it for the rest of us.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-27 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-27 Pub. Date: 2018-06-27
Image Number: 172518
Caption: I'm starting a movement against Arizona's new anti-immigration law. That's nice, dear. Every right-thinking Arizonan needs to walk up to a cop with papers showing they'e a legal resident. Drivers licenses, passports, birth certificates, decades-old papers from Ellis Island. Thing of it! We'll bring down the MAN and his MACHINE! For goodness sakes, someone start singing Kumbaya. Shhh, dear. The '60s ended.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-16 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-16 Pub. Date: 2018-06-16
Image Number: 172245
Caption: This just in: A massive sinkhole just opened across the bridge in a suburb of Candorville. The ent … Click. One structure was spared obliteration: A local café that had advertised that one of its muffins contained a free-gas-for-life card. The entire town was there ... Click. Candorville's mayor, Ronald Thump, has closed the bridge, preventing sinkhole refugees from reaching. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... mun mun mun -
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-11 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172240
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-29 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171958
Caption: I did some research. I read the respected New England Journal of Astrophysics, and it looks like you're right … Gamma ray bursts have to come from pretty close by in order to fry all life on earth. So we won't die. Their calculations showed that the worst a gamma ray burst could do is turn us green and make us very, very angry. Might want to doublecheck to make sure you weren't reading their April 1st edition. It's not all bad. They found it may also boost stamina and strength.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-28 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-28 Pub. Date: 2018-05-28
Image Number: 171957
Caption: I just found out that all life on earth could end if we're ever hit by a huge gamma ray burst from some other galaxy. That sounds like sketchy information, little buddy. No, it's been verified. I typed in gamma ray burst hitting earth on Youtube, and got tons of videos about them killing us all. There was a single video disputing that, I assume. I heard that.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-27 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-27 Pub. Date: 2018-05-27
Image Number: 171404
Caption: What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it sounds iffy. Just give me the usual aspartame-trans fat medley.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-13 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-13 Pub. Date: 2018-05-13
Image Number: 170941
Caption: I'm sorry, we're all out of mocha. Want something else? Yes, I want you to run to Starbucks and get me a mocha. I'm … what? Sorry, I can't do that. You have to. Or I'll sue. I saw your menu from the sidewalk. I'm not following. If your menu is viewable from the sidewalk, it's considered advertising. If you advertise a product but you don't have it in stock and you don't cross it out, that's false advertising. And that's a crime. So what's it going to be? Are you going to run down to Starbucks or do you want me to bring the wrath of the entire judicial system down upon you? I'm not sure any of that is true. But I could use the fresh air. While you're there, would you be a poodle and get me a cheese danish?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-11 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-11 Pub. Date: 2018-05-11
Image Number: 171299
Caption: Boss, I got your memo. Why can't I talk about the ancient pyramids with the patrons? You misread that, minion. I want you to talk about the pyramids even more. Throw in the Sphinx, while you're at it. I've noticed a 4.35 spike in sales of cold drinks every time you bring up desert-based topics. You're taking all the fun out of human interaction. From now on, you're to carry around a small cactus at all times.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-10 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-10 Pub. Date: 2018-05-10
Image Number: 171298
Caption: You're saying aliens built the Great Pyramid of Giza? Either that, or ancient mankind had reached outer space. The Great Pyramid of Giza is at the exact geometric center of earth's landmasses. You can't know where that is unless you're looking down from orbit ... or unless it's just dumb luck. Too late. Case closed. I've settled it. All counter-arguments are fake news.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-08 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171296
Caption: I'm not convinced that the pyramids of Giza were built as tombs. Sure they were used as tombs, but for all we know, they were built far earlier by some other civilization, and the pharaohs just claimed credit for them. How do we know the pyramids weren't something far more high-tech, like for instance hydroelectric power generators for an advanced civilization? You tell me, how did you charge your cellphone back in 10,000 B.C.? Hydropower from the tears of dorks, here, let me show you ...
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-24 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-24 Pub. Date: 2018-04-24
Image Number: 170876
Caption: I'm thinking of moving to New York so I can vote for Governor Cuomo in the primaries. Cynthia Nixon is his challenger. You know … Miranda from Sex and the City. She's the progressive, and he's the establishment Democrat. I've always wanted to be part of an establishment. You sure this isn't 'cause you're still mad at how Miranda treated Steve on Sex and the City? You don't tell a man to hurry up mid-lovin'. Who does that??
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-11 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-11 Pub. Date: 2018-04-11
Image Number: 170358
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will hunt you and your family to the ends of the earth and squeeze you all to death with my bare armpit. I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-01 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169596
Caption: Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't exactly go as planned. So I said to him I thought you were the Union! And I got up and walked out. Which was just as well, because in retrospect I'm sur ehe was trying to become my sugar daddy. And what was the question again? Ask Sadie. Almost answering questions since 1920-something. Send questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-30 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-30 Pub. Date: 2018-03-30
Image Number: 169901
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Rump. In other words, we'll be discussing the childish way people mangle the names of politicians with whom they disagree. Such as Barack O-Blame-A, Ronald Raygun, George W. Tush, Shrillery Clinton, Jimmy Farter, Gerald Bored, Herbert Loser, Cow Pen Coolidge ... and one from great-grandma Cohen's day ... Abraham Stinkin'.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-15 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-15 Pub. Date: 2018-03-15
Image Number: 169408
Caption: Hello, this is the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. We hear you're running for Congress s a progressive Justice Democrat. That's right. And we see you've actually pulled ahead of the Republican, in a district we always though was unwinnable. We're just calling to congratulate you on demonstrating a Democrat can actually win this race. House of Java Cybercafe. Thank you. So you're going to help me? We're going to ask you to step aside so one of our rich ... I mean, one of our approved candidates can take over from here.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-10 from 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-10 Pub. Date: 2018-03-10
Image Number: 169200
Caption: Hey boss, it's almost the middle of March and I haven't been paid yet. Are you sure? Perhaps I already paid you for March back in February. Perhaps I've been paying you a whole month early for the last 16 years, and so you aren't actually entitled to another check until April. If you show me your very first check stub from 16 years ago, we could clear this up. Very. Mad. Man.
     
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