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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about fools and fooling.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-08 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165707
Caption: Some cat said "Merry Christmas" to me. I didn't hear him 'cause I had my earbuds on, listenin' to old Biz Markie tracks. So I didn't say nothin' back. Then this fool got in my face talkin' bout there a "War on Christmas." I told him what the @#$% you talkin' bout, bruh? There a war e'ry day. We been at war ever since my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard was on the radio in '03. What" What?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-12 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-12 Pub. Date: 2017-06-12
Image Number: 159151
Caption: Sup, fool? I'm here to pick up bad boy Lionel Brown. Where he at? You're not the father. Day Care. If I had a dime for 'erytime I had heard that … Is that supposed to be a joke? Nah, sis … Maury was deadly serious, 'erytime. What? What? (Sigh) Nevermind. Are you on the list? I was once. But to be in the audience, not up on the show. What? What?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-31 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-31 Pub. Date: 2017-03-31
Image Number: 156201
Caption: You know why I don't buy none of your books, bruh? It's 'cause you a snitch. Your books always be based on what real people do. You got Susan up in there. You got me up in there. You even got Big Oatmeal up in those books, puttin' us all on blast. What're you talking about, "C-Dog"? Yeah, I loosely base my stories on my life and on the people I know, but I change all the names and details for privacy's sake. Ain't nobody fooled by you callin' me C-Cat," snitch. C-Cat's a composite of several different people.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-05 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-05 Pub. Date: 2017-03-05
Image Number: 154597
Caption: I just read that Bill Gates is set to become the world's first trillionaire by the year 2042. Which proves this is the greatest country on earth. Where else could one person amass more hundred dollar bills than there are people on earth? You know what I think? I think we should confiscate everything anyone earns over $1 billion and redistribute it. You what? It's only fair, when you think about it. Our billionaires became billionaires by automating and outsourcing and doing all sorts of things that put millions of Americans out of work. Redistributing the excess would give all those people a decent basic income, so they would never have to starve and die just because millionaires wanted to be billionaires. I'm practicing for April Fools. How'd I do? I didn't buy it for a second. Color-blinded.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-04 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 151096
Caption: The other day, somebody in a red Trump hat actually to me to "Go back where you came from, n*****." I'm not surprised. That's been happening a lot. Trump's election encouraged white supremacists everywhere to come out of the shadows. They think it's their day again. Well this ain't Selma, an' I ain't Martin Luther the King. That fool found that out right quick, bruh. This ain't 1965. This here 2016. Fools better know "n*****s" be armed now. Oh god, Clyde! What did you do?! What did you do?! You had a gun?! No, I had an iPhone. I recorded the whole thing. Put it on Youtube. In just two hours, that fool got fired. Oh. Maybe we should all be packing iPhones for the next four years.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-31 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145874
Caption: Hello, Mr. Dogg. My hingoa is "Richie." I am calling from illustrious Tonga Tech Alumni Association. You achieved your degree at our online university. Got my doctorate, fool. Get it right. We would like for to extend to you the invitation to now pursue your double doctorate. For a low low price of only $150 U.S. dollars per day you can take your Tonga Tech educationals to the ultimate level in only six weeks. Whatchyall got in your extra-doctorate program, bruh? C-Dog time is valuable. I ain't got six weeks for you, not unless your curriculum is bangin'. We've got very many programs of some sort that will allow you to call yourself "Double Doctor." ... such as a doctorate in real estate management, taught by cardboard cutout of Donald Trump. Lemme think about it. "Double Doctor Dogg" got a ring to it.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-24 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-24 Pub. Date: 2016-05-24
Image Number: 143638
Caption: I don't know why fools be keepin' useless junk from long ago. What the point of that is? How often you gonna open that box in your garage to look at the apple you finger-painted when you was four? They ain't no future generations gonna enshrine your third-grade diary in the Smithsonian. Ain't nobody gonna care 'bout no package Amazon delivered to your doorstep last week. I said give me back my package!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-18 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-18 Pub. Date: 2016-04-18
Image Number: 142112
Caption: I'm interviewing Hillary Clinton tonight, but I can't find my phone. Did I leave it at your place, Clyde? Yeh. But don't worry, I handled business for you, bruh. What's that mean? Some fool named "Pulitzer" called you, said you won somethin'. I told him to save that scam for someone who don't know better, an' I insulted his momma for you.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-12 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-12 Pub. Date: 2016-02-12
Image Number: 138875
Caption: What's wrong with you? I'm not sure whom to vote for anymore. I was leaning on Trump but when he lost that first contest in Iowa, I realized he's not the "always-wins" guy I thought he was. Then I thought, maybe Cruz. He's strong on illegal immigration too. But on the other hand, as Trump said, he's an Anchor Baby. And I hate those. How can you hate a baby? Don't let their pudgy cheeks fool you. Anchor Babies are the worst.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-09 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-09 Pub. Date: 2016-01-09
Image Number: 137380
Caption: Scuse me, you know how to get to west 73rd street. Yeah. Take the 409 east to Slauson, go straight past that fool Dwayne on the corner Hang a left, another left two more lefts Get back on the 409 west, exit on Florence, go two blocks and you're there. Need me to write that down? Y'know, it's okay to say "I don't know." (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-12-16).
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-31 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-31 Pub. Date: 2015-12-31
Image Number: 137116
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-14 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-14 Pub. Date: 2015-12-14
Image Number: 136530
Caption: What Donald Trump up to now, Dawg? That fool crazy. I don't know what Donald Trump's up to, Clyde. I refuse to keep paying him any attention. I don't slow down to watch accidents on the freeway, I don't watch reality shows, and I don't think about Trump. I'm above all that. If he said at 10:04 this morning he'd wanna ban all Muslim immigrants, I bet you'd know about it by 10:05. He already ... um ... never mind.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-07 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-07 Pub. Date: 2015-09-07
Image Number: 132201
Caption: I'll be sitting front row center at Trump's press conference. So? I'll be sitting front row center at the Kanye concert. It's not a competition, Clyde. I know, fool. He the only one performing. What? What?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-31 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-31 Pub. Date: 2015-05-31
Image Number: 127170
Caption: Rriiing! Whachoowant? Hi, I'm calling from the Mahatm We ain't want none of whatever you sellin'. Take us off yo' list, fool. You might want this: It's about a series of articles you published last year. Call from (555) 555-1234. I'm calling from the MG Center for Justice and Human Rights. Whachy'all be sellin'? What? No, I'm calling to say congratulations, you've won this year's Mahatma Gandhi award for journalism, for you ... Whatever. We ain't want none of whatever it is. Goodbye. Boop. This end up. Did I leave my phone over here? I got rid of some telemarketer for you, bruh. You owe me $2 for my services.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-19 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-19 Pub. Date: 2015-02-19
Image Number: 123054
Caption: Why would you ask if I fooled around with Sasha Mitchell? Because you once told me she was the love of your life. Because three years ago, you two were texting and Facebooking all the time. Because you told me you called it off after you found out she was married. ... And because I just found out she's been divorced for two years. There can be only one reason you and she didn't run off together as soon as her divorce was final. Stop trying to put two and two together, you're terrible at math. Homewrecker!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-16 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-16 Pub. Date: 2014-12-16
Image Number: 120250
Caption: Scuse me, you know how to get to west 73rd street. Yeah. Take the 409 east to Slauson, go straight past that fool Dwayne on the corner Hang a left, another left two more lefts Get back on the 409 west, exit on Florence, go two blocks and you're there. Need me to write that down? Y'know, it's okay to say "I don't know." (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-19)
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-23 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-23 Pub. Date: 2014-11-23
Image Number: 118627
Caption: Let me give you C-Dog's abbreviated history of the United States. Chapter 12: "Thanksgiving." Buncha immigrants get on a boat an' go someplace where they don't even know how to feed themselves. Some Native brutha - an ex-slave named Squanto - teach them fools how to grow corn an' how not to eat poison ivy an' spit like that. In return for savin' they life, these immigrants give Squanto a chicken leg an' a coupon to Red Lobster, an' then steal his country. Then Abraham Lincoln sign a licensing deal with Hallmark to make an official "Thanks-Squanto-Now-Stick-Em-Up" day. That's not exactly what happened. They shorten that to "Thanksgiving" cuz it easier to fit on a card.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-17 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-17 Pub. Date: 2014-08-17
Image Number: 114523
Caption: Dear Moron I read your latest article about how Israel and the Palestinians are locked in a cycle of violence and neither side is doing the right thing. I don't appreciate the false equivalence! You completely neglected to point out the FACT that the side I support is RIGHT, and the other side is WRONG. Here is a list of everything the other side has done to MY side to provoke my side into using violence. Never talk about the Israeli-Palestinian thing. If the other side has a list too, it's illegitimate and you're a FOOL for believing any of it.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-18 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-18 Pub. Date: 2014-05-18
Image Number: 110848
Caption: I got so burned the other week when I grabbed my Massacreforce 7 Sr-25 carbine sniper rifle and rushed to support that Cliven Bundy guy. I had no idea he'd turn out to be a big old racist who'd say that "negroes" are lazy, idle porch-sitter who were better off as slaves than they are receiving public assistance. What a fool! What an idiot! We should've used the official code words! You don't say "negroes," you say "inner city." You don't say blacks are lazy parasites who should learn to pick cotton again, you say "the inner city has an 'entitlement culture.'" It's much easier to pretend racism is over when racists aren't so indelicate about it.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-22 fool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-22 Pub. Date: 2014-04-22
Image Number: 110444
Caption: Thanks for watching my son while I was working, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Is you sayin' you left your kid here for REAL? When you asked me this morning to watch him, I thought that was a April Fools' joke. APRIL FOOLS' IS ONLY ON APRIL 1ST! IDIOT!!! Don't be so hard on y'self. Sometimes I get dates mixed up too.
     
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