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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about food.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-27 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-27 Pub. Date: 2017-09-27
Image Number: 163099
Caption: Guess what daddy heard on the radio today, son? I heard that an English settler named Clarence Hornswaggler stole the recipe for popcorn from Native Americans. It was an early example of cultural appropriation, and we don't encourage that sort of thing in this house. I thtill want popcorn fow dinnew. (Sigh), ok, let's try this: No popcorn for dinner because I said so.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-15 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-15 Pub. Date: 2017-09-15
Image Number: 162601
Caption: Six months, bruh. Six months till they start deporting 800,000 "dreamers" to countries they don't know how to live in. I dug a hole in my closet an' I got canned food. I'm ready. Ready for what? Ain't you never read "Anne Frank's Diary"? What are you asking: Have I read it, or have I never read it? You and your double negatives. Ain't you never heard of the Underground Railroad? Now you're just messing with me.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-05 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-05 Pub. Date: 2017-09-05
Image Number: 162343
Caption: Do you know how know there's no god, Rosencrantz? Because we've been abandoned. Will eat for food. I once spun a top, Tyrone. I spun it and I walked away. How it fell, I have no idea. But I know this: An intelligent being spun that top. I thought you said you spun that top. Don't resent me just because I just blew your mind.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-09 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-09 Pub. Date: 2017-08-09
Image Number: 161293
Caption: We're behind a lot of other countries in health care, social mobility, internet service, cellphone service, education … income equality, infrastructure, high-speed trains, voting, democratic representation, linguistic diversity, life expectancy, religious diversity, please, press freedom, child well-being, happiness, sleep, literacy, leisure, retirement security, gender equality, minimum wage, homicide rates, prosperity, the cost of food ... Other than military spending and the number of people we throw in prison, we're behind in almost everything ... so why do people still chant "we're number one!" All the time? Where we is on math?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-05 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-05 Pub. Date: 2017-08-05
Image Number: 161035
Caption: You know what I love more than almost anything in this world, Clyde? … French fries. They're like a tragic, ill-fated romance. No matter how bad they are for me, I just can't stay away. Can I have some of your fries, Clyde? Sorry, bruh, my fries be monogamous.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-20 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-20 Pub. Date: 2017-04-20
Image Number: 157015
Caption: You know why 'Star Trek' is off the air? Because no one wants to see the liberal Communist utopian propaganda. Think about it: Nobody needs money. Everyone's basic needs for food and shelter are met by the government. What incentive does anyone have to accomplish anything if they're not scared about ending up hungry and homeless? Well ... Boredom's an incentive. Notice how they all wear pajamas all day long. They're work pajamas.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-06 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-06 Pub. Date: 2017-03-06
Image Number: 155379
Caption: Mun - mun - munch mn. M. M. Will weed the total strangers out of your Facebook friends list, for food.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-26 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-26 Pub. Date: 2017-01-26
Image Number: 153704
Caption: I think the age of civility is over, Tyrone. Spare change. Will work 4 food. That's because you're totally biased. Very dishonest. A lightweight. Sad!!!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-06 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-06 Pub. Date: 2017-01-06
Image Number: 152859
Caption: I feel like a burrito right now, Clyde. You can't have no burrito, Big L. You a single dad raisin' a two-year-old baby. What'll happen to him if you drop dead of a heart attack? Parents who don't take care of theyselves an' don't watch they carbs an minerals an' such is selfish. Whatever. Give me back my burrito, Clyde. Somebody gotta look out for the children.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-06 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-06 Pub. Date: 2016-10-06
Image Number: 149309
Caption: I heard a passerby comment that a plane has been stuck on the tarmac for seven hours and the passengers are furious. That's because they don't realize that life in a stranded plane is better than no life at all, Rozencrantz. They could sit there and think "at least we haven't crashed." And they've got all the peanuts and ginger ale in the world. I heard they've run out of peanuts. There will be blood. Spare change?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-15 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-15 Pub. Date: 2016-08-15
Image Number: 147385
Caption: I went to the Russian winter Olympics. Oh, that's cool. How was it? Well at first I was afraid it was going to be nothing but unfamiliar customs and strange foods but then I saw their harsh anti-gay laws in action. It was just like being in Arizona, or Utah, or Oklahoma, or Texas, or Louisiana, or Mississippi, or Alabama, or South Carolina. Always nice to find a little bit of home in a foreign land. And their fast food gave me the poops, just like ours.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-01 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-01 Pub. Date: 2016-07-01
Image Number: 145232
Caption: Rosencrantz, I think there was a diversion yesterday, and we let it slip away unexplored. Will eat for food. Speak for yourself, Tyrone. I seized the opportunity. I exploited it for all it was worth. For the first time in days, I experienced laughter. I experienced joy. I experienced satisfaction. Not directly, I mean. I saw another man experience it. Bet that's just the same, when you think about it. I'm jealous. That's something, at least.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-21 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-21 Pub. Date: 2016-05-21
Image Number: 143337
Caption: I took Lionel to his second baseball game the other day. We hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game in two years. Back then, two Choker dogs, cokes and fries cost me $38. Last night it cost me $48. Back then, all the players were like 10 years younger than I was. But now they are all like 15 years younger. Having a kid speeds up the aging process. Baseball still around?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-23 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140810
Caption: It all started when I first covered Donald Trump on candorville.com. Dr. Noodle. The first article I posted got 2 million views. So I posted another. That got 6 million. So I I started writing about him every single day. M.A. I see. Well, that's only natural. We all have an instinctive need to give people what they want. That's why as soon as a guest enters our home, we offer them food. Yeah, I'm starting to feel like I'm fattening them up for the slaughter.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-01 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-01 Pub. Date: 2016-03-01
Image Number: 139625
Caption: So how's Lionel? Amazing. Guess what happened last night? We were eating dinner. He was playing with his food, so I asked him if he was done, and I reached for this plate. He said "I not done, but you can take it after I done." "Amazing" means something else once you have kids, I guess. He's using compound sentences three years early!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-02 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-02 Pub. Date: 2015-11-02
Image Number: 134721
Caption: Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. Turns out processed meat causes cancer. I've heard that. Makes sense meat's at the root of all our problems. After all, if nature intended us to eat meat, we wouldn't have to cook it. Valid point. Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. That's what the anti-meatists want us to think, anyway. If nature DIDN'T want us eating meat, it wouldn't have made us smart enough to invent cooking.. I need a burger right @#$% now.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-27 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-27 Pub. Date: 2015-09-27
Image Number: 132520
Caption: When someone says "Black Lives Matter," I respond by saying "All Lives Matter." Because I don't see color. But if you "don't see color," you can't see that young black men are far more likely to be shot unnecessarily by police than men of any other color. And you can't solve a problem if you can't even see it exists. It felt food to stand up for equality. So I didn't stop there. What do you mean? OWS protester love of red velvet cake. Daily Nut Job. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Goodnight Grandpa. I came across a "breast cancer survivor" meeting at the rec center. I poked my head in and shouted "All Cancer is Bad." By the looks on their faces, I could tell some of them realized they'd been totally horrible for acting like their cancer was so much more important than other cancers. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." Exoneration. I came across a funeral this morning, and after the eulogy I reminded the family that all people die, and that it's wrong of them to act like this one was more special than the rest of us. Has aversion to pepper spray. Why?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-13 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-13 Pub. Date: 2015-08-13
Image Number: 130936
Caption: What do you think the future's going to be like, Clyde? Just like now, only I'll have fries. Katrina's Ghost. I don't mean "The Future" as in fifteen minutes from now. I mean "the future" as in 200 years from now. Do you ever think further than fifteen minutes ahead? Do you ever think about the future of mankind? Would thinkin' 'bout that get me fries? Not everything in life is about fries, Clyde. I beg to differ, bruh.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-09 food 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-09 Pub. Date: 2015-08-09
Image Number: 130320
Caption: Little Tyrant Pizza Can I take your order? Yeh. Gimme one of them Big Mac combos. Are you serious? We don't sell Big Macs, sir. We're a pizza parlor. When you deliver them pizzas, you be drivin', right? Yeah. So on your way back from deliverin' your next pizza, go on through that McDonald's drive-through an' pick me up a number one, with no onions. I can't do that, sir. What, you ain't wanna earn some extra bills on the side? What wrong with you? Well ... Ok, I guess I can. While you at it, I got some draw's in the laundromat should be finished right 'bout now.
     
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