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Candorville

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Result page:     (12 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-19 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-19 Pub. Date: 2017-07-19
Image Number: 160503
Caption: So … what do your lovers call you? Lover. He calls me "Vancouver." I call him "Candorville." He's so cute. And so hot. He's sensitive, and confident, and charming. And vulnerable, like a wounded condor. No man's ever gotten me like he does. Oh, gosh. Look at me. I've been talking about Lemont all night. Check? Susan? It's Lemont. Oh, fine. You? ... Oh, that's good. Listen, I just accused Vancouver of cheating on me, and confronted her with the video you sent me. Didn't you say you watched the video? ... No? ... Oh. ... You sure? ... Oh. ... Yes, of course I watched it first. I'm not a complete idiot.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-21 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-21 Pub. Date: 2016-06-21
Image Number: 144898
Caption: My son slept all night long, Clyde. First time ever. Usually I can't get any uninterrupted sleep because he's always getting up. But last night, he didn't even make a sound … So I ended up staying up all night to make sure he wasn't dead.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-22 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-22 Pub. Date: 2015-07-22
Image Number: 129958
Caption: I still have that awful cough, Susan. Six weeks of gagging and hacking. I haven't heard you cough. That's because it mainly happens at night and when I first wake up. If you want to hear me really hack up a lung, you'll have to sleep with me. How could a girl say no to a line like that? That didn't come out how I meant it to. I hope you feel better soon, Lemont.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-26 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-26 Pub. Date: 2014-05-26
Image Number: 111789
Caption: My son slept all night ling, Clyde. First time ever. Usually I can't get any uninterrupted sleep because he's always getting up. But last night, he didn’t even make a sound. … So I ended up staying up all night to make sure he wasn't dead.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-03 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-03 Pub. Date: 2014-05-03
Image Number: 110714
Caption: I took Lionel to his first baseball game the other day. I hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game since I was a kid. Back then, two Choker Dogs, Cokes and fries cost $8. Last night, it cost me $38. Back then, all the players were like ten years older than I was. But now, they are all like ten years younger. "National Pastime" my behind, it should be national "past my time." Baseball still around?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-10 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-10 Pub. Date: 2009-02-10
Image Number: 29986
Caption: The knife is special. Sacred. Fwick. 10,000 years ago, when man first tied a piece of sharp flint rock to a wooden stick with leather… …We stopped fearing the lion and the wolf. We stopped fearing anything. …Except other men with bigger knives. Well, yeah there's that... Fwick.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-19 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-19 Pub. Date: 2009-01-19
Image Number: 29566
Caption: Lemont! Awaken! 'Tis I, Thomas Nast, famous 19th century cartoonist-slash-abolitionist! Awaken! Mumble. We met months ago whilst we were both dreaming. You told me that in the dreamland, one can journey through time and space, and that it is all real. Tonight, I fell asleep dreaming of attending the inauguration of the first Negro president. Well it's not happening in my bedroom! We don't exactly have GPS in 1865.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-06-21 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-06-21 Pub. Date: 2008-06-21
Image Number: 24240
Caption: "Everything is made of energy." Quantum Theory. "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed." First Law of Thermodynamics. If the soul is made of energy, then it can't be destroyed when we die. Is boredom made of energy? Well, it's a function of the brain, and the brain's made of en-- Shut up and go to sleep!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-09-03 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-09-03 Pub. Date: 2007-09-03
Image Number: 18481
Caption: Did Obama's wife attack Hillary? Catfight! MEEE-OWWWWW! Huh? SHE SAID "IF YOU CAN'T RUN YOUR OWN HOUSE, YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T RUN THE WHITE HOUSE. …So we've adjusted our schedules to make sure that our girls are first. So, while (Barack) is traveling around, I do day trips... I'm home before bedtime... to tuck them in at night." Wait, what was that? Back up. CATFIGHT! No, a little further ahead. Meow?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-11 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-11 Pub. Date: 2007-07-11
Image Number: 17866
Caption: Clarence Thomas, I am the ghost of Thurgood Marshall. I know. You're here every night. I won Brown v. Board of Education. I desegregated public schools. I know. I became the first Black Supreme Court Justice. Listen, can we skip ahead this time? It's late. You replaced me when-- Further ahead. Um... I am disappointed in you? Further.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-01-22 first night 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-01-25 Pub. Date: 2006-01-22
Image Number: 12820
Caption: I can't win. I was a gifted kid, so no matter what I do with my life, I can't live up to the dreams momma had for me. I know what you mean. My first ad campaign sold 20 million bottles of turnip custard. So no matter what I do at work, I can never live up to expectations. At the last open mike night, I had this one joint that was off the hook, an' now all my fans at the Quickmart over on Lennox expect magic every time I pick up the mike. I know what you're saying, dude. In 1919, the flu killed 50 million people, but the world's a lot more sanitary now so a pandemic is highly unlikely. I just can't live up to the hype. Bird Flu. You gonna eat that?
     
Result page:     (12 images)