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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about fires and firing.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-28 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163100
Caption: … So anyway, I had to fire an art director, a copywriter, a designer, a production artist and our web designer because of that donkey incident. That's too bad. But you did the right thing … you made the tough decision … "Always do what's best for the donkey," that's my motto. You know, I can tell when you haven't really been listening. What? I was totally listening! Then tell me what happened with the donkey. It's too atrocious for words. Nice try.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-08 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-08 Pub. Date: 2017-09-08
Image Number: 162346
Caption: Dick Fink, come in here for a second, will you? Ok, Ms. Garcia. The CEO called me into his office today to ask why our nemesis, McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans, called him for a reference. He was furious. Almost fired me. Apparently someone sent them my resume, and said the best time to call would be 3 a.m. Do you know anything about this? No. But I'll prevaricate ... I mean, investigate ... this thoroughly.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-27 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161361
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-17 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-17 Pub. Date: 2017-05-17
Image Number: 158078
Caption: I had a dream last night, Clyde. Want to hear about it? Not sure. Last time you told me 'bout one of your dreams, it was some sci-fi nonsense 'bout you travelin' back in time to save Abraham Lincoln. This one wasn't about time travel, it was about how Trump keeps firing everyone who says they have info on his Russia scandal. Well ... ok. Go. A woman named Harbinger traveled through time and across the multiverse to collect a team of awesome journalists who could uncover the truth. Stop.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-16 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-16 Pub. Date: 2017-05-16
Image Number: 158077
Caption: Lemont, we have need of you. What the -- Color-blinded. I am the harbinger, I'm … Here to warn me about a calamity threatening the entire multiverse. DC Comics' "Crisis on Infinite Earths," 1985. Oh … wait … this must be Earth Prime, where heroes only exist ... Heroes only exist as comic book characters or as dreams. Anyway, why are you in my dream? I was due to testify before Congress about President Trump's Russia ties, but Trump fired me. So I have some free time.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-16 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-16 Pub. Date: 2017-04-16
Image Number: 156261
Caption: I read your article about the "Russian-y Hall" scandal. I have a question. Fire away, Susan. Why "Russian-y Hall"? Why not "Russiagate"? That's your question? Not "How did you find out all that info about Trump's staffers colluding with Russia?" Not "How did you get all those interviews with the Russians who bought hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of Trump real estate in Florida?" (Sigh) ... Fine ... The Trump scandals are more reminiscent of the 19th century Tammany Hall corruption than they are of Watergate. I explained all that in the first paragraph. I thought you said you read the article! Well, I sort of didn't go any further than the "Russian-y Hall or Russian-Pot Dome?" headline.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-24 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154805
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-04 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 151096
Caption: The other day, somebody in a red Trump hat actually to me to "Go back where you came from, n*****." I'm not surprised. That's been happening a lot. Trump's election encouraged white supremacists everywhere to come out of the shadows. They think it's their day again. Well this ain't Selma, an' I ain't Martin Luther the King. That fool found that out right quick, bruh. This ain't 1965. This here 2016. Fools better know "n*****s" be armed now. Oh god, Clyde! What did you do?! What did you do?! You had a gun?! No, I had an iPhone. I recorded the whole thing. Put it on Youtube. In just two hours, that fool got fired. Oh. Maybe we should all be packing iPhones for the next four years.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-06 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-06 Pub. Date: 2016-07-06
Image Number: 145504
Caption: There you are, Dick. We need to talk. Ok, Ms. Garcia. This morning, I asked you to send Mr. Fitzhugh a ficus plant for his birthday. You know what was delivered? A single dead rose. Are you trying to get me fired, Dick Fink? 'Course not. Must've been a mix-up at the florist. The note said "This'll be you soon, old man. Sincerely, Ms. Garcia." That florist is the worst.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-25 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-25 Pub. Date: 2016-05-25
Image Number: 143639
Caption: I just watched all the trailers for Fox's new primetime shows. "Making History," "Shots Fired," "Prison Break," "The Exorcist," "Son of Zorn," "Star," "APB" Some of it looks so good, so unique, so cinematic, so amazing! I already love it all! Isn't that a good thing, Lemont? No! That means it'll all get canceled.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-31 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-31 Pub. Date: 2016-03-31
Image Number: 141136
Caption: You WANT to sleep, son. You know why? Because your dreams are waiting for you. As soon as you sleep, you'll be running through a big, wide field of grass, playing tag with Kermit the Frog. Then you'll be soaring up in the clouds with the birdies and with a flying unicorn. Then you'll be driving a big red fire truck on the rings of Saturn. Your dreams are the only place you can do these things without the authorities taking you away ... Zzzz ...
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-10 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-10 Pub. Date: 2016-03-10
Image Number: 140181
Caption: And that's when I told Dick Fink he was on thin ice. "Forgetting" to tell me about the "Ask Sadie" radio show meeting was one thing but "accidentally" replacing my Powerpoint with a slideshow full of Photoshopped pictures of me kicking puppies is something else. My boss won't let me fire him. He even said I was "overreacting" and being "self-centered." ... Actually, I asked if you wanted to hear about my day. And guess what else he said ...
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-09 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-09 Pub. Date: 2016-03-09
Image Number: 140180
Caption: I demand the right to fire Dick Fink, sir. He's incompetent, he's a snake, and I'm pretty sure he's the one who put that family of skunks in my desk. I'm still not sure I buy the skunks, Garcia which reminds me, did you ever complete that course on personal hygiene? Don't change the subject. Dick Fink wants my job, sir. He's been trying to ruin me ... for years. I'm not imagining this. I know ... I sound paranoid. But that's all part of his secret plan. Take the rest of the day off, Garcia.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-08 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-08 Pub. Date: 2016-03-08
Image Number: 140179
Caption: My assistant, Dick Fink, somehow removed all the glass from my windows and I nearly plummeted to my death. I need to fire him, sir. Don't you think you're being just a tiny bit hysterical, Garcia? You're not sure it was him. And the man has a family to support. Whatever it is, work it out. Does he have something on you, Mr. Fitzhugh? You're always protecting him. Does he know some dirty secret? Of course not. By the way, totally unrelated ... let's whisper when we discuss Fink ... just for kicks. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-17 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-17 Pub. Date: 2015-08-17
Image Number: 131274
Caption: Bad cops who kill unarmed black men are starting to get fired, and even indicted for murder. I don't think any of that would be happening if it weren't for the fact that all hell broke loose in Ferguson after Michael Brown was killed. Maybe things are actually changing. Maybe cops will even stop persecuting the good officers who report the bad ones. Wait ... are you being sarcastic? Maybe the academies will start weeding out the ones who overreact.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-26 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-26 Pub. Date: 2015-07-26
Image Number: 129550
Caption: I just started reading the book "2312." It starts on Mercury, where we built a city that constantly travels along rails to avoid the cataclysmic fire of the sun. It's hard to remember we're even capable of that sort of thing. We don't even build the world's tallest buildings anymore. We don't build much of anything. We barely even fill potholes. Once upon a time, we thought big. We built bridges. We carved new rivers. We sent men to the moon. But we've stopped thinking big. Did you know Saudi Arabia's building a tower that's almost twice as tall as our tallest building? Saudi Arabia ain't part of "we"? It ... That's not what I ... Oh, shut up.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-23 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-23 Pub. Date: 2015-07-23
Image Number: 129959
Caption: I read ain't nobody bought that new Janet Jackson song, "No Sleeep". An' Mariah Carey' an' Jennifer Lopez' new stuff ain't catchin' fire neither. It like the country decide to automatically reject anything that was big in the nineties, bruh. Wait is this what you meant when you said you had "evidence" Hillary Clinton is going to lose? Just thought you'd want a heads-up.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-08 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-08 Pub. Date: 2015-06-08
Image Number: 128067
Caption: A cop in Cleveland jumped onto the hood of a car after a long chase and fired 49 times at the unarmed people in the car. It all started when the driver fled from a traffic stop and then his car back fired as it drove past police headquarters. Cops mistook that for gunfire. That's why when I'm in a car an' it backfires, I dive out the window, an' tuck and roll. A brutha can't take no chances. I always wondered why you do that.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-30 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-30 Pub. Date: 2015-04-30
Image Number: 126133
Caption: Dick Fink, come in here for a second, will you? Ok, Ms. Garcia. The CEO called me into his office today to ask why our nemesis, McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans, called him for a reference. He was furious. Almost fired me. Apparently someone sent them my resume, and said the best time to call would be 3 a.m. Do you know anything about this? No. But I'll prevaricate ... I mean, investigate ... this thoroughly.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-06 fire 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-06 Pub. Date: 2015-02-06
Image Number: 122421
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
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