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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about fathers and fathering.

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  Next  (359 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-18 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163904
Caption: Sometimes I think "baby brain" is a real thing, Susan. Ever since I won custody of my son, I've been forgetting things. I've forgotten what I had for breakfast … I've forgotten whether I took a shower today … I can't believe you're blaming forgetting my birthday on your two-year-old kid. What are we talking about?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-07 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-07 Pub. Date: 2017-10-07
Image Number: 163375
Caption: You know the best part of having a child, Clyde? Less frustration. Maybe we won't cure death in my lifetime. Maybe I'll never be rich. Maybe I'll never walk on Mars. But there's a chance my son will live forever. Maybe my son will strike it rich. Maybe my son will someday set foot on another world. Maybe my son will have a friend who pays back the $2 he owes him. Maybe you so won't be passive-aggressive.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-27 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-27 Pub. Date: 2017-09-27
Image Number: 163099
Caption: Guess what daddy heard on the radio today, son? I heard that an English settler named Clarence Hornswaggler stole the recipe for popcorn from Native Americans. It was an early example of cultural appropriation, and we don't encourage that sort of thing in this house. I thtill want popcorn fow dinnew. (Sigh), ok, let's try this: No popcorn for dinner because I said so.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-23 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-23 Pub. Date: 2017-09-23
Image Number: 162853
Caption: If I promise to get you a new book tomorrow, will you go to sleep? Ith that a bwibe? Awe we cowooding? What do you mean "are we colluding?" Where did you hear language like that? Are you listening at my door while I'm watching the news again? You know you're not supposed to do that. If you'we impeached, do I become the new daddy? Go ... to ... sleep.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-22 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-22 Pub. Date: 2017-09-22
Image Number: 162852
Caption: Even after all these years, momma still won't tell me who my father is. All I know is, she met him when she was a waitress at a casino in Vegas, back in the seventies. I feel like she owes it to me to tell me. Your mom gave you life, raised you all by herself, worked from sunup to sundown to give you everything you needed ... Yeah, she really does "owe" you something. Glad you agree.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-19 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 162849
Caption: When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. Dr. Noodle. He asked who bought it. I said "a neighbor." He whimpered and blubbered "But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it!" M.A ... I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when your son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-18 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-18 Pub. Date: 2017-09-18
Image Number: 162848
Caption: But I can't get rid of it. Momma told me it belonged to my father, and to his father before him. I never knew either of them. Susan, the only family heirloom I have from them are my hat, my antique pocket watch and this. A microwave oven is not a "family heirloom," Lemont. Get rid of it. But Grandpa Brown warmed up his rations with it during the Korean War. It's time, Lemont.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-16 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-16 Pub. Date: 2017-06-16
Image Number: 159155
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. Don't feel bad. You ain't the first kid to get bullied. Your daddy got bullied. An' he a success now. Day Care. He did? Who bullied my daddy? 1979. Whack! Fonzie … That's not important right now. The point is, he overcame.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-15 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-15 Pub. Date: 2017-06-15
Image Number: 159154
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. How do I make Brixton not be a buller? Hold on … lemme call your daddy … It's ringin'. Day care. Hello? Yo, Big L, some bully beefin' wit' little man. What you want me to tell 'im to do? The plane crashed at the North Pole! We were rescued by insurgent elves but now they're holding us hostage until the dictator Santa Clause agrees to a ceasefire and two weeks' paid vacation! Send help! got it. Later, bruh. Boop. Your daddy want you to shout a lot of nonsense so the bully think you crazy. I happen to concur.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-13 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-13 Pub. Date: 2017-06-13
Image Number: 159152
Caption: C'mon, little man. We goin' to Uncle C-Dog place 'cause you pop's done gone to … wait … what's wrong, Bruh? Brixton. He's being not nice. Day care. Whachoomean? What Brixton done? He push you off the sings? He put sand in your hair? He take your dinosaur? Lionel. Sophie. He said my daddy is and "enema of the American people because he's a journalist." don't nobody take Lionel Brown dinosaur. Wait ... what? I told Ms. Karen but Brixton said it was fake news.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-12 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-12 Pub. Date: 2017-06-12
Image Number: 159151
Caption: Sup, fool? I'm here to pick up bad boy Lionel Brown. Where he at? You're not the father. Day Care. If I had a dime for 'erytime I had heard that … Is that supposed to be a joke? Nah, sis … Maury was deadly serious, 'erytime. What? What? (Sigh) Nevermind. Are you on the list? I was once. But to be in the audience, not up on the show. What? What?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-03 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-03 Pub. Date: 2017-06-03
Image Number: 158605
Caption: Heavenly father, should I preside over a gay wedding even if it means half my congregation will quit in protest? Should I lead my flock to the right side of history … Reverend of the Year 2000 … even if the sheep that put the most in the collection plate feel cozy on the wrong side? Give me a sign, heavenly father ... So you're saying I should ponder on this a few more years.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-04 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-04 Pub. Date: 2017-05-04
Image Number: 157548
Caption: I think you're just jealous, Clyde. Of what? Of me. Because I have a child. A little guy who looks up to me and loves me to death. A little guy I get to teach, and care for, and laugh and play with, and read stories to. A little guy I get to lead on a journey. Deep down, you wish you had what I have, Clyde. Admit it. I'll say it once mo' again: I ain't babysittin' for you tonight.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-27 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157287
Caption: Clyde, if something ever happens to me … Don’t worry, bruh. I'll take you kid an' raise him up for you. I'll teach him all he need to know about life. He'll be the baddest two-year-old on the block. Ain't nobody gonna mess with him. I'll also teach him erethang you woulda taught him: I'll make him watch Star Track an' Doctor Boo an' some @#$% like that. Long as he ain't a snitch, we'll be cool. I was just going to say "call Susan."
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-26 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-26 Pub. Date: 2017-04-26
Image Number: 157286
Caption: Tell me again why you ain't gone to the doctor 'bout your heart, Big L? I lost my health insurance. I've saved all my life for a down payment on a house, so I'll have something to leave to my son. If I go to the hospital, I'll probably lose it all and he'll inherit nothing. But I have life insurance, so if I die, he'll inherit my savings and $2 million. This country be messed up, bruh. I've recorded 18 years' worth of advice and dad-jokes for him.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-28 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-28 Pub. Date: 2017-03-28
Image Number: 156198
Caption: I've been wanting to see "get out" for weeks, Susan. I remember before I had a kid, I was at the movies every week. Now I don't have the time of the energy. I can't remember the last movie I saw that didn't involve a talking fish or a puppet. Reason #28,754 why I'll never have kids. On the other hand, movies won't change your diapers when you're old.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-21 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-21 Pub. Date: 2017-03-21
Image Number: 155914
Caption: The judge gave me full custody of Lionel and gave Roxanne no visitation rights. But I thought it was important for my son to have his mother in his life too. And she is the mother of my son, so I care about her. So I've been taking him to visit her once a week. I'm not sure how to tell her I'm taking Lionel and moving to Canada. Is it even her business, if I have full custody? I never really know how to break sad news to people I care about. Wait ... you're moving to Canada??
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-20 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-20 Pub. Date: 2017-03-20
Image Number: 155913
Caption: I got a panicky call from Lionel's mother last night. She wanted to see him right that moment. But I told her Lionel was fast asleep, partly 'cause her tone worried me. She had one of those "I'm an evil vampire and I'm going to take your precious child and perform some ritual incantation that'll turn him into an evil blood-sucking vampire just like me" tones. I'm not sure there's really any "tone" like that, Lemont. That's because you've never kept in touch with an ex.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-17 father 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155656
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A man laughed at me when I asked for help. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
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