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Candorville

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Result page:     (8 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-23 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-23 Pub. Date: 2013-11-23
Image Number: 104087
Caption: Kids are put on this earth for one reason only: To make sure adults don't get any sleep. It's a vast conspiracy run by a cabal of population-control fanatics. Kids equal sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation equals early death. Early death equals seven billion people on earth instead of seventeen billion. So "they" encourage us to have more children so there'll be fewer people? I didn't say I had every little detail worked out. (Originally published on 2012-04-14).
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-08 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-08 Pub. Date: 2013-03-08
Image Number: 94134
Caption: Maybe you and Lemont aren't destined to be together after all. You're so very different. He's a sci-fi fanatic, but you watch Lifetime movies. He loves Korean food, but you can't stand it. He's got a two-year-old, but you donít want kids. How on Earth do you know all this? You're a private person, but he blogs about everything.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-14 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-14 Pub. Date: 2012-04-14
Image Number: 79199
Caption: Kids are put on this earth for one reason only: To make sure adults don't get any sleep. It's a vast conspiracy run by a cabal of population-control fanatics. Kids equal sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation equals early death. Early death equals seven billion people on earth instead of seventeen billion. So "they" encourage us to have more children so there'll be fewer people? I didn't say I had every little detail worked out.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-24 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 67154
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, you've heard a lot of reasons why Lemont Brown should not be given custody of Lionel. You've heard that his friends are thugs, liars and miscreants. You've heard he's a poor, pudgy Star Trek fanatic who may be mentally unhinged and never calls his mother. Get to the "but" already! Haha, you said "butt!"
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-19 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-19 Pub. Date: 2010-12-19
Image Number: 55242
Caption: Say what? I said: I've been thinking about how YOU think you should be more "GUY." You said you ran into some big, muscly, sports-fanatic GUY, who you said probably showers in beer. Well Ö it probably would've been more "guy" of you to say he showers in Clorox. Y'know. Because Clorox is corrosive, so you'd have to be a real tough guy to withstand that. Susan, a real GUY wouldn't know what Clorox is. I guess not.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-10 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-10 Pub. Date: 2010-01-10
Image Number: 42642
Caption: Know how Ms. Washington always said I'd never amount to nuthin'? Ms. Wash -- from first grade? Ö An' how when I sent Russell Simmons my first rap on the eight track, he shattered it with a baseball bat, lit it on fire and mailed it back to me C.O.D.? (Sigh) Just no call, doing that to a two-year-old. Well the C-Dog has finally arrived, fools. Look at this. A fan from Maine sent it. Is this a bear? Yeh, it -- what? No, fool, it's somebody SUV! An' the plates say "CDOGFAN"! MS. WASHINGTON, YOU AN' RUSSELL SIMMONS CAN KISS MY B ... Looks like a bear to me.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-04 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-04 Pub. Date: 2008-12-04
Image Number: 28420
Caption: I used to feel like football players were champions fighting for our whole city's honor. Now I just feel like I'm watchin' a bunch of multimillionaires working. Like I'm eating hot dogs while watching Warren Buffet sell stock. RAAAAAAAGH! Good talk.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-12-04 fanatic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-12-06 Pub. Date: 2005-12-04
Image Number: 12394
Caption: I'm Bob Roberts. Today on the Sunday morning political show, the hot topic is the indictment of White House official Scooter Libby for perjury. Here to represent the republican contention that perjury and obstruction of justice are no big deal and not worth prosecuting, is republican Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. Representing the opposite argument, we have Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison from the year 1999 when she zealously backed the impeachment of President Bill Clinton for perjury. Bob, my younger self has it all wrong. Perjury is just a technicality prosecutors use when they can't prove any real crime happened. I disagree honesty is they lynchpin of our criminal justice system. Perjury must be punished harshly or we're all doomed. With all due respect, Bob, my older self is a partisan hypocrite. And my younger self is a conniving fanatic!
     
Result page:     (8 images)