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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about falls and falling.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-05 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-05 Pub. Date: 2017-09-05
Image Number: 162343
Caption: Do you know how know there's no god, Rosencrantz? Because we've been abandoned. Will eat for food. I once spun a top, Tyrone. I spun it and I walked away. How it fell, I have no idea. But I know this: An intelligent being spun that top. I thought you said you spun that top. Don't resent me just because I just blew your mind.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-15 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-15 Pub. Date: 2017-07-15
Image Number: 160224
Caption: Lemont, it's Susan. I have bad news to tell you. Can it wait? Divided Airlines tossed me out of the plane to make room for one of their employees. I suspect they were actually Russian spied, but that's not important right now. When you called, I was watching a youtube video about how to grab ahold of an albatross and ride it to safety. Youtube has everything. I know, right? Excuse me ... what does "employee has pet" mean?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-25 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-25 Pub. Date: 2017-04-25
Image Number: 157285
Caption: Susan called 911 on me, Clyde. She was trying to get them to come take me in for a heart attack she thought I was having. But they put her on hold. And after a while, she sort of fell asleep and I sort of snuck away. Whachoomean "sort of," Big L? Ain't no such thing as "sort of." Somethin' either be or be not, bruh. One ambulance ride and one day in the hospital would eat up my whole life savings. Dead people ain't got no life savings, bruh.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-07 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-07 Pub. Date: 2017-04-07
Image Number: 156469
Caption: Guess who's coming to town, Susan. Turbo! Who? What do you mean, "Who?" Turbo. The guy we used to hand out with, from preschool all the way through college, where you fell in love with him … until you dated him. That lasted like a week before you couldn't stand the sight of him, and then he moved far, far away. That turbo. Doesn't ring a bell. You don't have to wish all your exes to the corn field, you know. I loved that episode.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-14 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-14 Pub. Date: 2016-12-14
Image Number: 152112
Caption: Are you ok, mister? I'm fine. Why do you ask? I saw you smack into that pole and crumble like a glacier falling into the sea. Pretty advanced metaphor for your age. We've got great schools in Canada.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-05 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-05 Pub. Date: 2016-11-05
Image Number: 150476
Caption: 1982. What are you gonna be in 2012? I've narrowed it down to two options. If we don't blow ourselves up, I'll be a cyborg captain of a starship, hunting for black holes I can use to travel back in time and capture dinosaurs. If we DO blow ourselves up, I'll wear leather pants and roam the radioactive wasteland fighting mutants in order to bring a bucket of water and a little bit of peace to grateful orphans. It's good you have something to fall back on. Momma said that's important.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-02 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-02 Pub. Date: 2016-09-02
Image Number: 147923
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood clichés. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all along in front of his tv … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for a half an hour. Clichés are clichés for a reason.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-17 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-17 Pub. Date: 2016-07-17
Image Number: 145280
Caption: Have you ever fallen madly in love with someone, Clyde? No such thing as that, bruh. What do you mean? Ain't no "falling." Love is a choice. You control it, Big L, the way you control a pit bull, or the IRS … or the weather. What you phone say the weather be right now, Big L? 106 degrees. The weather be what you want it to be, bruh. What kinda punk-!@$* let a phone tell him how to dress? Good talk, Clyde.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-28 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-28 Pub. Date: 2016-06-28
Image Number: 145229
Caption: You've reached Senator Marionette's office. To ask a question, press or say "one" now. "One." If your question is "where do I send a campaign donation," press or say "one" now. If your question is about why I block all attempts at gun control even after enormous massacres, please hang up now. Not falling for it.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-23 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144900
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-17 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-17 Pub. Date: 2016-04-17
Image Number: 141571
Caption: I'm so happy, doc. I think I'm falling madly in love with an Israeli women I met in Turkey. Dr. Noodle. That's interesting. Just last month, you were still in love with Kelly. And the month before that, you were in love with Marie. And two months before that, it was Sharquisha. You're constantly falling in and out of love. Out? Who said anything about "out"? I still love every woman I've ever loved. With all my heart and soul. With the intensity of the big bang itself. You don't like seeing things end, do you? I've Facebook friended everyone I've ever met.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-05 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-05 Pub. Date: 2016-04-05
Image Number: 141502
Caption: Have you tried giving up coffee cold turkey. Once. It was December 25th, 1991. It had rained that morning and dew glistened on the flowers a passerby was carrying. A dog barked seven times. A distant siren wailed for 43 seconds. The ceiling light bulb flickered every 257.9 seconds for seven hours. I take it that day didn't go very well. My dog scratched itself for exactly 5 and ½ minutes before falling asleep.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-01 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141137
Caption: You know what I like best about being a dad? When my little boy curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I hold him tight and know he feels warm and safe, and I feel like I can protect him from anything. Even from time. Because as long as he lives, he'll be able to close his eyes and remember this feeling and be two years old again ... hopefully without the wetting himself part. It's important to know when to stop talking.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-24 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-24 Pub. Date: 2016-03-24
Image Number: 140811
Caption: Last night, I couldn't wait till my toddler went to sleep so I could relax and watch tv in peace. But once he fell asleep, I missed him so much that I watched his favorite shows till I fell asleep too. I could've watched "Game of Thrones" or a racy movie ... but I watched "Thomas the Train." ... for three hours, Susan. What's wrong with me? Reason #485 why I will never have kids. "Thomas the Train" is actually a pretty subversive show, when you think about it.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-26 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-26 Pub. Date: 2016-01-26
Image Number: 138296
Caption: The Double Date. So where's Vancouver, Lemont? I've been dying to meet her. Well … you know how when you fall in love with someone online, and you sort of get so used to texting hours and hours every day that you start to feel like maybe you're better in writing than you ever would be in person? No. Not really. Susan, Vancouver. Vancouver, Susan. I've heard so much about you. Dios mio.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-17 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-17 Pub. Date: 2016-01-17
Image Number: 137381
Caption: The more I hear Donald Trump talk, the more I like him. I thought you said Trump was an embarrassment. That he was totally bigoted and un-American, and didn't in any way represent the Republican party. You said you'd never vote for him in a million years. Yeah, but that was before. Before what? Newsweak. Before now. We're closer to the election now. Now is when both Republicans and Democrats start to forget what we said before, and fall in line behind our parties' front-runners. Well technically that time would be after the primaries, but I figure, why wait? Well, I'm still going to wait.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-13 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-13 Pub. Date: 2015-12-13
Image Number: 135929
Caption: Lately you've been moody and distant. I keep asking you what's wrong … and you keep saying I'm just imagining it. But I'm not crazy. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm your wife. I love you. I'll understand. Don't fall for it. As long as you're totally honest with me, I would respect you and love you and we could work it out, no matter how bad it is. Don't fall for it. Ok (sigh) here goes ... There's someone else.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-12 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-12 Pub. Date: 2015-12-12
Image Number: 136224
Caption: I'm glad you're finally going to meet the guy I've been seeing, Lemont. It's important to me that you like him. I think I'm starting to lean toward being inclined to feeling the preliminary precursor to falling for this guy. You're my bff. I want to know if you see yourself seeing the same things I suspect I may see myself seeing in him. You guys sound seriously close to being serious about maybe getting serious. I wouldn't go that far.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-02 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-02 Pub. Date: 2015-12-02
Image Number: 135925
Caption: How do they get away with these despicable, monstrous lies? Donald Trump says he witnessed thousands of Arabs in New Jersey cheering as the Twin Towers fell on 9/11. And Ben Carson says he saw "newsreels" of that too. That never happened. We all remember what it was like that day. Crowds of Arab-Americans were not out in the streets of New Jersey cheering. To be fair, Trump and Carson were talking about the Arabs who live in their heads. Trump and Carson's head-Arabs aren't half as scary as they are.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-25 fall 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-25 Pub. Date: 2015-11-25
Image Number: 135624
Caption: Did you hear the "Ask Sadie" show today? They were talking about breakups. Specifically, how to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. I find the best way to protect her feelings is to just disappear. Then she ain't cry at you or nothin'. Just 'cause you're not there to see her cry doesn't mean she's not crying, Clyde. Yeh it do, bruh. It one of them "tree fallin' in the forest" things.
     
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