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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about experiences and experiencing.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-01 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162685
Caption: I just finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "What Had Happened Was … " Sound like a good book, bruh. I thought so. But you know, the real title was supposed to be "What Happened." So I figured I was just seeing things. But then I notices something. Whachoo noticed, Big L? All the other books on my bookshelf had unfamiliar titles too. I noticed my old copy of "1984" was not called "2017." "Deliverance" was not called "They Shoulda Stayed They Butts at Home." the book I thought was called "To Kill a Mockingbird" was not called "Black Man's Tragedy as a Growth Experience for a Little White Girl." Do you happen to have Photoshop, a printer and too much time on your hands? Must be that "Mandela Effect" think you always be talkin' 'bout. Give me back my old bookcovers.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-23 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-23 Pub. Date: 2017-05-23
Image Number: 158341
Caption: Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-15 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-15 Pub. Date: 2017-03-15
Image Number: 155654
Caption: It's not just women who're attracted to "bad boys." Guys are attracted to bad girls, too. Some guys always pass up the women who adore them and end up with women who berate them … or who lie, cheat and forget to mention they have husbands. There's nothing like being emotionally beaten to death to make you feel alive ... er, I assume. I wouldn't really know.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-14 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-14 Pub. Date: 2017-03-14
Image Number: 155653
Caption: What's with teenage girls running away to join ISIS? Are they crazy? Don't they know how they treat women? Some girls just can't help being drawn to "bad boys." And evil men are the "baddest" around. It's the excitement. It's the danger. It's the thrill of being with someone who could utterly ruin you ... er, I assume. I wouldn't really know.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-12 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-12 Pub. Date: 2016-10-12
Image Number: 149611
Caption: When Vancouver approached me, the rest of the crowd seemed to desaturate. It was like everyone else turned black and white, but Vancouver stood before me in brilliant color. When she hugged me and I felt her soft hair on my face, the rest of the world faded away. And I couldn't feel my feet. After I Googled those symptoms and it turned out not to be a stroke, I realized it was love at first sight.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-01 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-01 Pub. Date: 2016-07-01
Image Number: 145232
Caption: Rosencrantz, I think there was a diversion yesterday, and we let it slip away unexplored. Will eat for food. Speak for yourself, Tyrone. I seized the opportunity. I exploited it for all it was worth. For the first time in days, I experienced laughter. I experienced joy. I experienced satisfaction. Not directly, I mean. I saw another man experience it. Bet that's just the same, when you think about it. I'm jealous. That's something, at least.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-14 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-14 Pub. Date: 2016-06-14
Image Number: 144563
Caption: Mr. Trump, you said the judge presiding over your fake university trial can't do his job impartially because he's "Mexican" and you've offended Mexicans. You also say Muslim judges could "absolutely" be biased because you've offended Muslims. But you've offended pretty much everyone other than white, right-handed Appalachian car mechanics' pet zebras ... and he doesn't have any judicial experience. No, but he's never treated me unfairly.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-14 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-14 Pub. Date: 2016-01-14
Image Number: 137666
Caption: I am come that you may have life and have it abundantly. Be not content to live in a basement studio apartment with cable TV jacked from your neighbor across the alley. You are capable of so much more, my child. Am I capable of gettin' some sleep, bruh? Well, excuse me for trying to grant you a divine revelation. Excused.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-12 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-12 Pub. Date: 2015-11-12
Image Number: 135009
Caption: Date-a-Chick.com. Suggestion: Write about a romantic dream you recently experienced. Date-a-Chick.com. Profile: I dreamt I was walking along a beach Date-a-Chick.com. Profile: hand-in-hand with a beluga whale. Which is odd for a few reasons. Date-a-Chick.com. Error: Excessive honesty detected. Please try again.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-10 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-10 Pub. Date: 2015-11-10
Image Number: 135007
Caption: I went out with this book agent last week and told him some stories about work. Then he tried to get me to write a novel based on it. Awesome! I've written three, you know. If you need any advice, just come to me. I could walk you through it. Share my expertise. Writing a novel is a long, hard process. Takes about six months to a year. I'll guide you through it, 'cause you're my best friend and I love you. I finished it last week. I hate you with a passion.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-21 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-21 Pub. Date: 2015-06-21
Image Number: 128073
Caption: I've done a lot of things in my life, doc. I'm a firm believer in sampling everything life has to offer. Dr. Noodle Except for prison. I don't need to know what being imprisoned is like or visiting the Middle East. I don't really need to end up in an orange jumpsuit ... or bug-eating. No offense to the rest of the world, but that's just nasty ... or flyfishing ... or pipe-smoking ... or body-piercing ... or alligator-wrestling ... or Jazzercise ... You're being awfully negative. Why don't we try focusing on the things you DO like to do? I don't like being negative.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-07 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-07 Pub. Date: 2015-03-07
Image Number: 123667
Caption: I never talk about all the horrible things that have happened to me in life. I say, I never talk about all the horrible things that have happened to me in life. Such as being partnered with someone who can't pick up on clues. Speaking of "horrible things," did I ever tell you what happened to me? (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-23).
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-04 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-04 Pub. Date: 2015-03-04
Image Number: 123664
Caption: I dont believe in past lives. But I have memories of things I couldnt possibly have done. One of my most vivid memories is of sitting along the banks of the Nile River, begging for alms from passing sheep herders. Hmmm One of MY most vivid memories is of being a wealthy sheep herder, and having all my sheep kick up mud onto a beggar. Just because I thought it'd be funny. Coincidence, I'm sure. But that may explain why I've never like being covered in mud. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-20).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-02 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-02 Pub. Date: 2015-01-02
Image Number: 120835
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Some astronomer just updated the Drake Equation with new data. Interstellar. Turns out there are millions, maybe even billions, of earthlike planets in our galaxy. The Milky Way's probably teeming with life! But not anywhere near us. The rest of the galaxy is jumping! But we're off in the corner, all by ourselves, in the one part of the galaxy that's empty. It's high school all over again. Interstellar.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-17 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-17 Pub. Date: 2014-10-17
Image Number: 117633
Caption: So what happened when you took Lionel to visit his mom? I don't know. For some reason, I never remember what happens with her. What? If I were a superhero, my power would be forgetting bad experiences. Dios mio. I wonder if I can sell "Forget-Man" to Hollywood. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-25).
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-01 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-01 Pub. Date: 2014-10-01
Image Number: 117058
Caption: Why do you always get to sit on that side of the sidewalk crack, Tyrone? Maybe that's the good side. Maybe that's why you're happier and more successful than I am. Maybe if I sat there, my entire life would be different. I have just as much right as you to experience the other side of the crack. You ever think "that's the first time in my life I've heard that sentence"? (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-31).
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-08 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-08 Pub. Date: 2014-07-08
Image Number: 113445
Caption: You were a lying, cheating snake, Phil. You can forget about me taking you back. Susan, I'm a changed man. I made a pilgrimage to India. I experienced an epiphany in a tiny Himalayan village. Not sure which one the Epiphany sisters looked a lot alike. But I digress ...
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-24 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-24 Pub. Date: 2014-06-24
Image Number: 112912
Caption: Why do people revere the "founding fathers" as if they were infallible gods? Seriously, a lot of these guys were know-it-all twenty-somethings who had very little life experience. And then there were the ones in their forties. You never trust a guy in his forties. That's when a guy flips out, leaves his wife and buys aa shiny new horse.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-11 experience 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-11 Pub. Date: 2014-02-11
Image Number: 107414
Caption: Even I'm more ready than Clay Aiken is to run for Congress. Nonsense. Clay Aiken's well-known, he's a nice guy, he's worked with autistic kids and charities, and he's dedicated himself to serving others for years. Exactly. What a dude like that know about manipulatin' voters, colleagues an' donors? Dude'll be eaten alive in Washington. Stop being right. It's weird.
     
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