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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2020-01-19 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2020-01-19 Pub. Date: 2020-01-19
Image Number: 181285
Caption: Dear Sadie, You have such an outstanding figure. What do you do to keep in shape? - Hirsch Goldberg. *Actual reader letter. This is a highly personal and offensive question. But, I am flattered by the appreciation for my matronly figure and full bosom. And so I will let America in on the secret to my beauty. BRING OUT THE CONTRAPTION! Introducing the Sadiesizer. Armpit cooling jets. Electronic Do not use underwater. Purell sanitizer coating. Hip sequester. Rear-end coiffer. Belly extender. For sleek intimidation. Bosom fluffer. Military grade. Plus, I eat only fried ice cream and waffles. So I don't just look good, I smell sexy. send Sadie a question at asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-12-17 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-12-17 Pub. Date: 2019-12-17
Image Number: 180884
Caption: Sadie Cohen? Is there a fire? I'm Dan Johnson. From corporate. I need to talk to you about your radio show and it's falling ratings. Are you smoking a stogie? Got extra? No. It's fake cigar smoke. It's ominous and underlings tend to expect it - going back many years. The smoke machine lets me keep up the old-timey image but with no cancer risk. This ends badly.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-12-13 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-12-13 Pub. Date: 2019-12-13
Image Number: 180797
Caption: You don't find it strange I'm writing scathing Yelp reviews about this café, and even my own service?! Nope. Makes sense. You're stuck in a dead-end job and have no other way to lash out. The Yelp reviews are actually a healthy way to reconcile your issues. I'm impressed and proud of you. You're more sensitive than people think. I'll nevertheless need to extort you.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-11-27 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-11-27 Pub. Date: 2019-11-27
Image Number: 180601
Caption: Kindly bind me with this rope. I don’t understand. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm giving up caffeine. Why? Because I'm a high-strung madman! Also, kindly tie down the bullhorn. This ends badly.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-10-21 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-10-21 Pub. Date: 2019-10-21
Image Number: 180009
Caption: Wait for it. Here it comes. They've broken the huddle. My heart be still … It's the snap … First showing of Eli Manning's rear-end in tight football pants! I love fall. Completion. And the crowd goes wild.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-10-20 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-10-20 Pub. Date: 2019-10-20
Image Number: 179940
Caption: The Fad Herald … again … So many fads, so little time. As part of our special series on trends of the decade, herewith the most annoying phrase of the decade: It is what it is. Hold on. These findings are premature. The decade ends after 2020, not after 2019. I respectfully but forcefully suggest you wait a year and do this correctly. It is what it is! Well, that one probably won't change in a year.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-10-02 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-10-02 Pub. Date: 2019-10-02
Image Number: 179755
Caption: I'm not interested in buying new technology. What's wrong with me? Don't worry. I went through a brief period in college where I wasn't attracted to women. I didn't want to date or even have flings. It was a dark, horrible abyss that felt like it would never, ever end! How is this helping? Red Maxim repeatedly until it passes.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-14 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-14 Pub. Date: 2019-07-14
Image Number: 178557
Caption: … and that's how I learned that the name of the killer is … enjoy Coca Cola … Nnnoooooooo. Is it intelligent life? Just the opposite. NASA. Another digital televisions recorder stopped recording right before the end of a show. It's how the world will end.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-18 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-18 Pub. Date: 2019-04-18
Image Number: 177235
Caption: Am I to understand that you body healed itself so you could come back here and make fun of my mindless consumerism? If that's true, do you realize what this means? I saved your life. I, Rudy Park, saved the life of Sadie Cohen. And I, Sadie Cohen, am about to end yours. You may thank me for eternity.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-31 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-31 Pub. Date: 2019-03-31
Image Number: 176826
Caption: Welcome to today's hottest game show: What's My Own Password? In today's $1 million bonus round, Denver single mother Caroline Jones faces the ultimate test. Are you ready, Caroline? I think so. We've randomly selected from your personal internet accounts. To win the dough, you just have to remember your login and password for your ... online bank account! Thirty seconds. Go! Tick, tick, tick, tick. Login is ... um ... is it my maiden name? Yes! Halfway there! Twenty seconds to go. Um ... is my password my daughter's name with 1-2-3 at the end? Final answer? Wait! Is it my son's name backward? Birthday inverted? Son's birthday? Time's up! You've forgotten your own password! Sob. Sob.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-10 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-10 Pub. Date: 2018-11-10
Image Number: 174832
Caption: I had a very rewarding week. Weird. What? You sound almost happy, satisfied. HOJ. So strange for someone with such a meaningless, dead-end existence to find amid his personal rubble a nugget of joy. Defeat snatched from the jaws of a vague sense of contentedness. It's almost enough to give me hope.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-05 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-05 Pub. Date: 2018-11-05
Image Number: 174827
Caption: Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today, everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grader means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanted to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-03 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-03 Pub. Date: 2018-11-03
Image Number: 174752
Caption: Finally, the cleansing process is working. I've not hit on a gal for give days. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I feel my head clearing. I'm able to perceive the world not in terms of romantic conquests but more richly, more broadly. I'm using more senses. I hear the sound of the espresso machine, smell the fresh scones, taste fall's aroma. Mostly, I smell the stink of my own unwashed body under this shroud. End of cleansing! About time.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-27 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-27 Pub. Date: 2018-06-27
Image Number: 172518
Caption: I'm starting a movement against Arizona's new anti-immigration law. That's nice, dear. Every right-thinking Arizonan needs to walk up to a cop with papers showing they'e a legal resident. Drivers licenses, passports, birth certificates, decades-old papers from Ellis Island. Thing of it! We'll bring down the MAN and his MACHINE! For goodness sakes, someone start singing Kumbaya. Shhh, dear. The '60s ended.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-20 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172384
Caption: Periodically, Sadie Cohen gets jacked up on caffeine, then goes to the US post office. Once she gets to the counter, she starts chatting and asks endless questions, stopping up the line for hours, frustrating to no end the people behind her. It's her favorite practical joke and, frankly, one of the darkest things the human eye can witness. Enjoy! What's your opinion of the two-day certified mail to Wichita? Move it, lady!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-11 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172240
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-08 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-08 Pub. Date: 2018-06-08
Image Number: 172099
Caption: I feel as if an interlude is coming to an end, Rosencrantz, and a new chapter begins anon. Stop using archaic words!! Fie! I have an appetency to force the world to bethink itself of anon.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-28 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-28 Pub. Date: 2018-05-28
Image Number: 171957
Caption: I just found out that all life on earth could end if we're ever hit by a huge gamma ray burst from some other galaxy. That sounds like sketchy information, little buddy. No, it's been verified. I typed in gamma ray burst hitting earth on Youtube, and got tons of videos about them killing us all. There was a single video disputing that, I assume. I heard that.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-11 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-11 Pub. Date: 2018-04-11
Image Number: 170358
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will hunt you and your family to the ends of the earth and squeeze you all to death with my bare armpit. I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-08 end 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169775
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard his computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he'd discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
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