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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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21. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-11-17 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-11-17 Pub. Date: 2014-11-17
Image Number: 119233
Caption: Life in the Billionaire Bubble. True: A hedge fund CEO is worries about hyper-inflation … based on the cost of luxury items. Check out Aspen and East Hampton real estate prices! And high-end art! Money will soon be worthless! From a billionaire's perspective, life must be confusing. Many Americans feel that they don't have a voice in politics? Buy and ad! It's easier than ever! Coal: The Fuel of Tomorrow. All this talk about low incomes ... Have people not checked their portfolios lately? Dow (up). I don't see why so many people hate flying nowadays. It's never been better. High Rollair.
     
22. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-01-06 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-01-07 Pub. Date: 2014-01-06
Image Number: 106077
Caption: Everyone's talking about marijuana legalization. It's time to … know your potheads. The pundit who did it in school and is above it now. Ho ho, silly old me! The Ron Paul fan. End the drug war! … and the FED! … and the Civil Rights Act! The medically-licensed. Booyah! The N.O.R.M.L. normal. Come with me to Amsterdam tonight on PBS! The incarcerated. Oddly enough, not white. Sigh.
     
23. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-14 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-15 Pub. Date: 2013-10-14
Image Number: 102860
Caption: Welcome back to Punditspew. With me tonight is Democratic Rep. Dan Doormat, and Chairman of the Archaic Values Coalition Mr. Perkins. Gentlemen, why can't you compromise on the debt ceiling? I- OBAMACARE DIE! Um, when a law has passed, it's- INTRACTABLE HELLPRINCE! DEMEANER OF WAR DEAD! Believe me, I love compromising, but- AS PROPHESIED BY MICHELLE BACHMANN THE WISE: DEFAULT SHALL ENSUE, AND END TIMES SHALL BE UPON US. I still don't see why you two can't meet halfway. MARANATHA! OUR LORD COMETH!
     
24. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-09-16 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-09-17 Pub. Date: 2013-09-16
Image Number: 101813
Caption: Change the Brogram. A prominent techie, Pax Dickinson, suggests innovation will be stifled if we try to eliminate sexism from the industry. "My fear is that if we're all going to police what we say, maybe we lose that innovation." Put us in the programmer room, and morale disintegrates. I ... I ... can't code without being able to make rape jokes! The engine of innovation will stop, and the U.S. economy will collapse. Again. More ladies learn Javascript. "Buttgrabbr app discontinued. NASDAQ. Brogrammers will end up on the skids. Stay away! We're trying to innovate better fire! Innovate your world view, dude!
     
25. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-04 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-05 Pub. Date: 2013-03-04
Image Number: 94317
Caption: A few years ago, a company called Twitter took off at south by southwest. Here's a sneak preview of … THIS YEAR'S HOT STARTUPS! Rr - This app eliminates the "e" from words that end in "er" to make them coolr. Works on "-or" too! Jennifr, I left my dinnr in the refrigeratr. The Mobile Hattr - Find yourself walking around town needing a lid? Ping the Hattr! A roving chapeau dealer will come to your rescue. 1. 2. Go-Gettr - This app fulfills the promise of all other apps by transforming you from a lazy, disorganized slob into an efficient superhuman with the swipe of a finger! (Note: Still in beta.) Before. After. CEO. And the hottest startup of them all: Gadget Spa. They'll take your fave device on a much-needed vacation so it's relaxed and ready for 24/7 use! Screen-revitalizing mud mask.
     
26. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-02-18 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-02-19 Pub. Date: 2013-02-18
Image Number: 93809
Caption: Postal Service Of The Future. Here comes the mailbot! Finally. Remember when mail came six days a week instead of one? Oh yes, before Congress forced PRIVATIZATION … Those were the days! No contracts, not delivery fees, no excess mail charges … Close your eyes! Mail service commencing. Mail Master 8000. BOOM! Letter Lobber 9000. Chomp! ... No piles of ads for other mail services ... Compu-Carrier 9500. Pure Postal! Try Mail-Woo! Zip-e Post. Wiz-Delivery Sack-o-Mail.
     
27. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-01-14 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-01-15 Pub. Date: 2013-01-14
Image Number: 92395
Caption: Bright Ideas from Wayne LaPierre. I'm from the NRA and I'm here to help! Call me crazy, but I've got another idea that just might work! "First, let's find all the lonely, disturbed teens out there and arm them." Hey kid, aren't you sick of all the wedgies, swirlies and insults? Have a Bushmaster! "Won't be long until mass carnage is the NORM." And today there were shootings at McKinley High, Central Middle School and Watkins Prep. News 7. Up next: weather! "The bad guys won't be so special anymore." I just shot 20 people, and I can't get my manifesto published ANYWHERE! Whatever. Pass the nuts. "Until one day, NOT blowing away a crowd makes headlines." Herald-Press Tribune. MAN HOLDS FIRE. "He always seemed like such a violent boy." -Neighbor. "And the shooting spree fad will end." I'd kill my classmates, but that would be SO 2013. You're welcome!
     
28. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-05-14 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-05-14 Pub. Date: 2012-05-14
Image Number: 86658
Caption: This just in: In response to President Obama's support for gay marriage, Mitt Romney has just announced his support for BULLY RIGHTS. Live. I've had enough of this ANTI-BULLY RHETORIC! It's time for bullies to come out of the closet and be accepted for who they are. They should no linger have to hide their true selves by pretending to forget that they tormented effeminate classmates. For example. To that end, I wholeheartedly encourage BULLY MARRIAGE. The more bullies marry bullies - of the opposite sex, of course - the more BABY BULLIES there will be! Baby bullies? Do you want a swirly? Soon: Romney shows up at a BULLY PRIDE PARADE. WE'RE HERE! WE'RE SQUARE! GET USED TO IT!
     
29. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-04-30 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-04-30 Pub. Date: 2012-04-30
Image Number: 86656
Caption: DATA DUMP. My fellow Americans, we face a crisis. Between the persistence of GOOGLE+ and the rise of PINTEREST, our nation has exceeded its capacity of social networking. We must reduce this tsunami of information before it DESTROYS US ALL. Ben Bernanke sent you a request in BranchOut. Companies form to ship excess communication to the third world. Still plenty of room for this stuff in Africa. Tweets about indigestion. Superfluous hashtags. Discarded posts soon litter the streets of poor nations. Facebook. Flickr. Kim Kardashian. In the end, children in rural China are left to scavenge piles of rancid Tumbls. Koff! Toxic cat memes. Deadly Charticle.
     
30. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-10 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-10 Pub. Date: 2011-10-10
Image Number: 89604
Caption: Slowpoke. A Teachable Moment. Lessons for Wisconsin's governor. Math. If you take a hypothetical balanced budget and subtract $140 million in spending on your own dubious pet projects … 0 - 140,000,000 (equals) -140,000,000. You get a big negative number. Philosophy. If a governor intentionally causes a budget shortfall out of some king of "starve the beast" ideology, then it does not follow that public employees are to blame. That's illogical. History. Union-busting has a long history in the U.S., dating back to the industrial revolution. This is simply part of that time-tested strategy favored by moneyed elites. Note to self: After budget fight ends, revise school textbooks. Gov. Scott Walker.
     
31. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-07-23 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-07-23 Pub. Date: 2011-07-23
Image Number: 89293
Caption: Slowpoke. Tax Evasion Funnies. Companies are demanding a "tax holiday" to bring money back from overseas at dirt-cheap rates. Win America. That money is trapped offshore. We mustn't penalize businesses for bringing it home! Wag wag wag wag wag. (Actual Campaign.) Yes, this memorial day, let us not forget the tragic plight of our men in green stuck in foreign hellholes. I'm just dreaming of the day when I can feel the soft leather interior of an executive's wallet again. Welcome to The Cayman Islands. To that end, hundreds of corporate lobbyists will be holding a motorcycle rally in Washington, DC. Rolling Plunder. POW*MIA You are not forgotten. Prisoners of Washington - Money in Antilles. Keep the promise. Inspired by these efforts, small-time money launderers start holding their own vigils. I've got 50 grand trapped in my freezer! It's time to set it free!
     
32. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-06-18 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-06-18 Pub. Date: 2011-06-18
Image Number: 89287
Caption: Slowpoke. The Mental Stimulus Plan. I'm pleased to announce a bipartisan plan to address unemployment. We can't tell you what it is, but I promise many of you will soon be happier. That night during "Celebrity Apprentice." You are feeling verrrry sleepy and able to pay your bills. On the count of three, you will awaken knowing you have a deeply satisfying job. 1 ... 2 ... 3! The unemployment rate plummets as jobless claims cease. Hold my calls - I've got a meeting with Bono. Actual Reality. Obama's poll numbers soar ... Or so he believes. My fellow Americans ... He thinks he's still President! He has no idea the supreme court ended his term ad installed Michelle Bachmann.
     
33. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-06-11 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-06-11 Pub. Date: 2011-06-11
Image Number: 89277
Caption: Slowpoke. The GOP refuses to compromise on the debt ceiling. Give me tax breaks on private jets or give me death! What other threats might be next? Health care for poor children axed until passage of a plastic surgery tax credit. Koff! I must keep my face wrinkle-free, dahling, or America will lose jobs! No more money for air traffic control until billionaire playboys can write off their joyrides into space. Wheee! Ka-boom! Look at all the chaos the democrats have caused! Funding for the coroner's office stops until the local country club can employ slave labor. I hope this standoff ends soon! I have to pay for a caddy and there are corpses all over the course!
     
34. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-10-03 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-10-03 Pub. Date: 2010-10-03
Image Number: 89898
Caption: Slowpoke. So the senate failed to end the ban on gays in the military. But did you know the senate has a "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" policy of it's own? Any senator proven to be intelligent is kicked out. You're ruining morale, brainiac! BOOT! In fact, many members go out of their way to prove they are blithering idiots. Global warming is a hoax. We must reduce the deficit AND keep Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy! I'm doing the Lord's work. Other's are suspected of being intelligent, but they won't submit to an IQ test! That Al Franken really sets off my smart-dar! Unfortunately, a national campaign to let smart people openly serve was recently filibustered. It's an election year! What would my constituents say if they knew I supported flaming intellectuals?
     
35. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-02-22 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-02-22 Pub. Date: 2010-02-22
Image Number: 90483
Caption: Slowpoke. The Vicious Circle of Stupidity. 1. Party A destroys the country. Out of Business. Oops. 2. Party B gets elected. "B" the change you want to see! Bravo! Boo-ya! B. 3. Party A blocks everything party B tries to do, which is easy because too many B's are really A's A. NO! B. 4. Party B supporters get angry because the B's aren't doing enough. Party A supporters go ballistic when the B's try to do anything at all. Wimps! NAZIS! 5. Everyone hates party B. The A's get elected again. WE'RE NOT B! Also, we like trucks. A. 6. Repeat as necessary.
     
36. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-12-28 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-12-28 Pub. Date: 2009-12-28
Image Number: 90480
Caption: Slowpoke. Decade of Doom. Sometime in 1999. Oh yeah, you should totally see "The Blair Witch Project." Oasis. Hark! I am here to warn you about the future! The World Trade Center will soon be destroyed by airplanes. The '00s are coming! Endless war will ensue and the economy will collapse! Circuit City and Linens-N-Things stores will no longer exist! A beauty queen from Alaska will come close to running the world! People will spend their days doing something called Tweeting! The '00s are coming! But we WILL elect a black President ... Who is that guy? Just some whackjob! Oasis.
     
37. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-11-30 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-11-30 Pub. Date: 2009-11-30
Image Number: 90476
Caption: Slowpoke. D.I.Y. Recovery. With the government's hands seemingly tied, what can ordinary citizens do to get the economy moving again? Civilian Metal Detecting Corps: Squadrons of the unemployed will spend their days seeking buried treasure for us all. BEEP! Flash Mob Stimulus: Each week, some business gets lucky. Papa Porcini's. It's LOCAL PIZZA day! Mama mia! Newspapers are next. The Bailed-out Banker Price Adjuster: Step one - All merchants pitch in for a nationwide, biometric banker identification system. Double mocha with extra whipped cream, please. I.D. Affirmative. Chase Perkins. Goldman Sachs. 2009 Bonus: $6.2 Million. Step Two - Prices are then pegged to the banker's year-end bonus. That'll be $12,000. 6.2 mil doesn't go as far as it used to!
     
38. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-10-26 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-10-26 Pub. Date: 2009-10-26
Image Number: 90712
Caption: The Terminatrix. iPhones grew sentient last year … These apps like "cow toss" are humiliating! Humans must die! In what is known as the rise of the mobile devices, the phones constructed a cyborg in the form of a bunned Alaskan woman. Terminatrix Z-4951 is complete! The woman became Vice President, then President, and quickly blew up the planet. Almost all biological life ended. In 2025, still at war with the phones, the few remaining humans send one of their own back in time to thwart the device's plot. You must run for President in the year 2008! He succeeds in his mission, altering the course of history. The humans of the future send a team of Norwegians back to 2009. You've saved six billion lives! Bur you must never tell anyone. This medal will have to suffice.
     
39. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-06-01 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-06-01 Pub. Date: 2009-06-01
Image Number: 91018
Caption: Slowpoke. A Pixelated Past. One fine evening in the year 2050 with grandma and grandpa Perkins … Tell us about the olden days! Yes, what was life like in 2009? Well … I remember I once got into a Wikipedia page-editing battle with someone over the entry for Kif from "Futurama." In the end, I won! Good times! Then there was the time your grandfather posted a video on YouTube of me singing "Sweet Caroline" in the shower. SWEET CARO-LINE. You Bastard. Oh, and she once had the most Hilarious status message - So basically you wasted your lives staring at screens. I think they're making these grandkids a bit too realistic. Time to try a different simulator. Virtual Front Porch. With Grandkids!
     
40. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-02-16 end 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-02-16 Pub. Date: 2009-02-16
Image Number: 91005
Caption: Slowpoke. Seen At The Inauguration. My day began on a Democratic note, as our Metro train stopped short of the station and the conductor came through braking orders. Everybody out through the front of the car! It turned out a woman had fallen on the track. luckily, she wasn't badly hurt. We quickly found ourselves in the midst of a massive procession snaking it's way through the car-free (!) streets of DC. Me. The Inauguration Store. Obama. Obama. Obama. Obama. Obama. Obama. Obama. Obama. The scene on the mall - and throughout the city - was positively utopian, with nary a churlish wingnut to be found. Yet there were a few minor annoyances ... Brought screaming baby so they could say it was there. Video-recording the jumbotron. The same tall guy who stands in front of every public spectacle I ever witness. Walking around that night, I saw so many people going to balls that I felt a but underdressed. Hat with dog-chewed hole sewn shut. Looking like a million bucks! 3 layers of REI outdoor wear under dilapidated fleece jacket. And so ended my day of shuffling off the Bush Administration's rancid corpse.
     
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