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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-27 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-27 Pub. Date: 2017-03-27
Image Number: 156197
Caption: Are you still mad at me for not telling you I'm moving to Canada? Well, you don't have to be. I'm not moving. I called every mortgage broker Google knew, and I can't qualify for a mortgage. I'm self-employed. It's a lot harder for self-employed people to get loans. So can we just pretend I never mentioned I was leaving? OK. Glad we got that settled.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-20 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 144897
Caption: I'm sick of people saying women earn 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. That's been debunked already. It's more like 95 cents. They earn only a nickel less when it's the exact same job. You know a lot of industries still won't hire women for the "exact same job"? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-30 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-30 Pub. Date: 2015-04-30
Image Number: 126133
Caption: Dick Fink, come in here for a second, will you? Ok, Ms. Garcia. The CEO called me into his office today to ask why our nemesis, McMahon, Tate, Stephens and Evans, called him for a reference. He was furious. Almost fired me. Apparently someone sent them my resume, and said the best time to call would be 3 a.m. Do you know anything about this? No. But I'll prevaricate ... I mean, investigate ... this thoroughly.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-13 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-13 Pub. Date: 2014-10-13
Image Number: 117629
Caption: Lemme see them want ads when you done, Big L. Um … There aren't any. You lying? You tryna make sure ain't nobody can compete with you? Of course not. Lemme borrow a quarter to get my own paper. There are no quarters. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-21).
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-15 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-15 Pub. Date: 2014-04-15
Image Number: 110107
Caption: I'm sick of people saying women earn 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. That's been debunked already. It's more like 95 cents. They earn only a nickel less when it's the exact same job. You know a lot of industries still won't hire women for the "exact same job"? I don't see what that has t do with anything.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-29 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-29 Pub. Date: 2013-11-29
Image Number: 104374
Caption: Dick Fink, how long have you been standing there? Oh … I don’t know. They took my watch, I was mugged while saving a kitten on my way to volunteer at the orphanage for the elderly. Is this about how your job is in danger? What? It is? I had no idea. I've been too busy supporting my seven children and donating half my salary to leprosy relief in Guam.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-27 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-27 Pub. Date: 2012-09-27
Image Number: 87793
Caption: Oh, I get it. You're not going to tell me what salary you'd expect … The Candorville Chronicle. … Because people almost always undervalue themselves. But if you think staying silent is going to trick me into admitting your top offer is $85k a year, you're ... Editor-In-Chief. There really needs to be a "rewind" button on this thing.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-26 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-26 Pub. Date: 2012-09-26
Image Number: 87792
Caption: What can I do to get you back, Brown? I've already offered you your old cubicle, less pay and insufficient respect. No? Not enough? The Candorville Chronicle. … Jane, see if that old rusty death trap of mine is still in the river. The Candorville Chronicle. Would your very own company car seal the deal? The Candorville Chronicle.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-24 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-24 Pub. Date: 2012-09-24
Image Number: 87790
Caption: Brown? Hi, Mr. White. No, I haven't decided yet. It'd be easier to come to work for you again if you would promise things would be different. Of course! Anything you want! … Aside from money, respect of a parking spot. I'm gonna need at least one out of three.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-15 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-15 Pub. Date: 2012-08-15
Image Number: 86019
Caption: My blog is finally making money … Dr. Noodle … Which makes me feel more secure. M.A. But that makes me less hungry for a job, which means I'll be less likely to get one … Which makes me feel less secure. Ah. Security insecurity.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-08 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-08 Pub. Date: 2012-06-08
Image Number: 81661
Caption: No, I don’t have any "tour guide" experience. That's too bad. Jobville Employment Agency. Tourism is booming. Foreigners are flocking to America like rubberneckers flocking to see a car crash. Say what? I'm as bad with analogies as … … Something else is bad at a thing.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-07 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-07 Pub. Date: 2012-06-07
Image Number: 81660
Caption: We've had 26 straight months of private sector job growth. Certain industries are booming. Jobville Employment Agency. Do you have experience serving comfort food to weeping patrons? No. How about repossessing cars? No. How 'bout repossessing pacemakers? Not a good sign.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-01 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-01 Pub. Date: 2012-02-01
Image Number: 75826
Caption: What do you mean you have nothing for me? You majored in liberal arts … Jobville Employment Agency. … Which doesn't qualify you for the jobs that are still out there. You should've thought ahead, like I did. Identified growth industries and majored in one of them. What did you major in? Unemployment counseling. With a minor in post-apocalyptic foraging.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-31 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-31 Pub. Date: 2012-01-31
Image Number: 75825
Caption: How many words per minute can you type? About 90. Jobville Employment Agency. Very good! (Smiley face.) How are you with Microsoft Excel, Java, C++, Python and Objective-C? (Dead smiley face.) How about PDF to ePub conversion? Now you're just making things up!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-30 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-30 Pub. Date: 2012-01-30
Image Number: 75824
Caption: Of course we can place you. There are all sorts of jobs out here for people who're actually willing to work. Jobville Employment Agency. Do you have experience as a nurse, or a physical therapist? No. How about as a computer software engineer? No. How 'bout as a selling-the-oranges-by-the-freeway-offramp engineer? I don't like where this is going.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-12 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-12 Pub. Date: 2012-01-12
Image Number: 75071
Caption: What do you mean I'm ineligible for unemployment insurance? You're not eligible if you quit your job without good cause. You don't think choosing to go get my son instead of going on an overseas assignment for a month was a good cause? If you want to plead your case, we can schedule an ignoring. You mean a "hearing"? What did I say?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-11 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-11 Pub. Date: 2012-01-11
Image Number: 75070
Caption: I'm highly educated. I'm a hard worker. I've had a job - sometimes four at once - ever since I was 13. I'll find a job any day now. I've never had to use unemployment insurance in my life and I never will. Never! Daddy, I'm hungwee. Hello, you've reached the state unemployment office.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-10 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-10 Pub. Date: 2012-01-10
Image Number: 75069
Caption: Unemployment insurance is not a handout. You paid into it every month when you were working … So there's nothing wrong with using it when you need to. In general, that's true. But when you're the one applying for it, it feels like begging. Swallow your pride, Lemont. I can't even swallow aspirin.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-28 employment 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-28 Pub. Date: 2011-12-28
Image Number: 74741
Caption: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - Nah, bruh, I'm serious … How you gonna pay rent and feed yo' son if you just quit your job? Like I said, I'll just get a new one. Hahahahahaha. Stupid great recession.
     
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