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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about employees.

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81. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-22 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-22 Pub. Date: 2015-09-22
Image Number: 132889
Caption: Rudy, I think you're ready for more responsibilities. You mean you want me to handle our suppliers? You want me to go to Colombia and oversee the coffee bean supply chain? You want to give me an expense account? I want you to scope out our patrons and alert me if any of them seem to be good fits for me romantically. But don't let them know you're running credit and background checks on them. It could ruin the mood. Very bad man.
     
82. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-16 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-16 Pub. Date: 2015-09-16
Image Number: 132592
Caption: Armstrong, why did you fire me? I need to know. Gross incompetence. You used the café's line of credit to buy and ad on the "Ask Sadie" show. Business plummeted by 100% the very next day. We were closed the very next day. I could hire you back, but it would mean a new contract and less pay. Very bad man. Your new contract requires you to provide me with health insurance.
     
83. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-15 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-15 Pub. Date: 2015-09-15
Image Number: 132591
Caption: Armstrong fired me. I kind of wish I knew why. Who cares why? A real alpha doesn't let himself get fired, little buddy. What you should've done was fire your boss before he had a chance to fire you. That way, thoughts of everything he'd lose would flood his brain and there's a 48.7% chance he'd actually beg you to stay. Isn't that the same number from your book "From Dump-ee to Beg-ee"? Work, romance ... it doesn't matter. All the relationships are the same.
     
84. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-14 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-14 Pub. Date: 2015-09-14
Image Number: 132590
Caption: Boss, I didn't get a paycheck this month. Let me get to the bottom of that for you. Hmmm … I think I see what may have happened. My records are showing that I fired you a few weeks ago. What, you didn't get the memo? You didn't notice I was still mopping up and selling your coffee? I'm just human. I'm not all-seeing.
     
85. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-07 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-07 Pub. Date: 2015-09-07
Image Number: 132284
Caption: Boss, remember when you said you'd consider giving me a raise if I were to show initiative? No. I used the café's line of credit to buy ads on a national broadcast. You did what? If the ad increases business, do I get a raise? Maybe. What channel's it on? Fox? NBC? Today's "Ask Sadie Radio Show" is brought to you by the worst excuse for a cafe in America.
     
86. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-30 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-30 Pub. Date: 2015-08-30
Image Number: 131015
Caption: What as it you wanted to talk about, minion? Beep. The carbon monoxide detector is beeping every five seconds. Beep. Oh, that. Nothing (beep) to worry about. It was a second-hand unit I found in the dumpster behind Arby's. Beep. What? Why would you do that? Beep. The town council passed a law mandating the placement of (beep) CO² detectors. Beep. They (beep) didn't say they had to be new CO² detectors. I'm 25% sure it's beeping because the battery backup needs to be replaced. Nothing to worry about. Beep. Beep. But what if you're wrong? Shouldn't we maybe evacuate the (beep) cafe and call 911? Are you crazy? Beep. That would just panic everyone (beep) for no good reason and cost me hundreds of dollars in lost sales. Beep. I'm telling you, all it needs is new batteries. Go down to the basement and fetch some. Beep. Also, while you're down (beep) there, bring up my emergency oxygen mask. For no reason in particular. Beep. Very bad man. Beep.
     
87. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-14 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-14 Pub. Date: 2015-08-14
Image Number: 131013
Caption: Boss, there's a tornado outside! It's five minutes late. What? What are you talking about? Dozens of terrified locals just ran into our café seeking shelter. What should I … wait … You couldn't possibly … couldn't possibly have leased an artificial tornado machine from a Canadian inventor? How do you have time to consider such silly ideas when you should be out there selling the refugees comfort food?
     
88. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-10 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-10 Pub. Date: 2015-08-10
Image Number: 131009
Caption: Boss took out half the light bulbs, told me to tell patrons it's for "ambience." #cheapskates. What are you doing? Working, boss. I'm tweeting about how lovely the ambience is here at the café. Oh. Well, ok. Carry on, minion. A boss will almost always believe a truthy lie. #worktips. When you're done, go turn the single-ply toilet paper into half-ply and reroll it.
     
89. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-08 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-08 Pub. Date: 2015-08-08
Image Number: 130663
Caption: Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.
     
90. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-23 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-23 Pub. Date: 2015-07-23
Image Number: 130028
Caption: Rudy, I'm thinking of replacing you with Gunther the illegal immigrant. What?! Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. Relax. I haven't yet made up my mind. I'll give you a chance to underbid him. Gunther says he'll work for $1 a day, from 3am to 11pm. Can you beat that? Yeah. I can turn you in. Tsk tsk ... Gunther would never say something like that.
     
91. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-02 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-02 Pub. Date: 2015-07-02
Image Number: 129101
Caption: Boss, I've got a bleeding-edge action-plan for boosting the café's quarterly revenue stream. What? My plan leverages best practices to shift the whole paradigm and really drill down to our core competency. Best part: it's scalable. Y'know … peppering your dumb ideas with business jargon doesn't make them seem any smarter. But I sense I moved the needle, and buy-in is just around the corner. The exit is just around the corner.
     
92. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-24 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-24 Pub. Date: 2015-06-24
Image Number: 128754
Caption: Boss, a car just lost control and crashed through the wall. It almost got me, but I'm ok. That's awful. Go like beneath it and play dead. The diver's liability insurance will pay out a lot more if my employee bites the dust. Plus, the life insurance policy I took out on you covers this exact contingency. I'm pretty sure they'll eventually find out I'm not dead. How would you feel about relocating to my cabin in the Alaskan wilderness?
     
93. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-30 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-30 Pub. Date: 2015-05-30
Image Number: 127574
Caption: Rudy, have a seat. There's something I need to tell you. What is it, boss? Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I once owned a dog. I'd tell him to "sit" every five minutes, just to show him who's in charge. That's all. You can go. But be back in five minutes. I wish this chair was cushioned.
     
94. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-26 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-26 Pub. Date: 2015-05-26
Image Number: 127570
Caption: I've been working here for over twelve years. I'd like to talk about a health insurance plan. I wish you'd asked me twelve years ago. It'd be too expensive to insure someone of your advanced age. In the old days, bosses cared about their employees as if they were family. Heh. Heh-heh. No, really! I've seen it on those old tv shows. Ha ha hoo hoo hee -
     
95. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-01 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-01 Pub. Date: 2015-05-01
Image Number: 126203
Caption: Boss … instead of sending me a tax refund, the IRS sent me a letter saying I owe them $9,000. Do you know anything about that? Nope. In a totally unrelated matter, did you know that businesses have to pay half the social security and Medicare taxes for their employees? And did you know that if a business re-categorizes workers as "independent contractors," then those workers aren't technically employees and become responsible for paying all their own taxes? Very. Bad. Man. I gave you your independence. I'm like Lincoln. You should thank me.
     
96. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-13 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-13 Pub. Date: 2015-04-13
Image Number: 125624
Caption: Hey boss, it's April 13th. A couple years ago, you said come back April 13, 2015, and we could talk about you giving me a raise. Yes, but that was predicated on the notion that you'd need a raise by now. I see you're still alive. Clearly you haven't starved to death. You smell minty-fresh, so clearly you haven't been forced out onto the streets. Karl Marx said it best: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." I'm pretty sure that is not what Marx meant.
     
97. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-05 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124320
Caption: Rudy, gas prices are rising again. I bet somehow this is bad news for me. I suppose you're wondering how that affects the café. Uh … sure. Well, did you know that a great many products are made from oil? Such as plastic? And did you know that, for a brief time, manufacturers would actually pay people to cart away all their plastic shavings? ... And did you know that it's much cheaper to cut coffee grounds with plastic shavings than to serve pure coffee? Theoretically, of course, I would never do such a thing. Anyhow, our profit margins have plummeted 0.02%, so I'll have to cut your pay. Yes! I just won a bet!
     
98. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-20 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-20 Pub. Date: 2015-02-20
Image Number: 123162
Caption: Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making role, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as? I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.
     
99. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-05 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-05 Pub. Date: 2015-02-05
Image Number: 122489
Caption: Boss … I need to take a few months off for paternity leave. That's commendable. I'm all for fathers taking an active role in their children's lives. It's good for the health of our economy. Take all the time you need, as long as the "baby" you're talking about isn't a kitten, a houseplant or some video game where you raise a simulation of a baby. I'd like to withdraw my request. I thought you might, minion.
     
100. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-24 employee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-24 Pub. Date: 2015-01-24
Image Number: 121925
Caption: Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.
     
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