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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-31 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-31 Pub. Date: 2018-05-31
Image Number: 171948
Caption: The state deleted me from the voter rolls because I supposedly registered at a bunch of different addresses under similar names … so I spent all day tracking down Leroy Braun, Lamarr Boyd, La-Keysha Barnes, Lavert Ballard and Lalo Bustamante. What the … them ain't similar names. That's what Labeeb Bashir said when we tracked down him and Leela Bang. I sense a pattern, bruh. We're all marching to the state building once we find Lalamika Babangida.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-02 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171054
Caption: How long you think it be till unaccountability trickle down to the rest of us? The Democrats got Debbie Wasserman Shultz' people destroying ballots before they can be recounted. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to them. The president use his office to make money e'reday. That ain't legal. But nothin' happen to him. What did you do, Clyde? Don't matter. That's my point.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-16 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170574
Caption: 2016. Trump's not going to win. Not worried about him. That's why you should worry about him!!! What do you mean? Every time an impossible candidate wins, it's because people didn't worry about him. No one worried about Nixon. Nixon was a has-been. No one worried about Reagan. Reagan was a joke. Barack Obama ... he was nobody. 2018. No way President Trump can survive all these scandals. Thanks, you've just doomed us all.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-15 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-15 Pub. Date: 2018-03-15
Image Number: 169396
Caption: In other news, there seems to be a blue wave coming, as Democrats continue to win surprising victories in heavily Republican districts. Just across the bridge in Canardville, for instance, Republican Congressman Snidely Perfidious has held his seat for 40 years. He's not running 10 points behind a 90-year-old veteran-turned-peace-activist who advocates Medicare for all, free college, and mandatory veganism. Cool. Maybe I'll be able to see a doctor someday. I don't know, bruh ... The Congress we got is pretty bad. But so is broccoli.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-26 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-26 Pub. Date: 2018-01-26
Image Number: 167654
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about Orpah maybe running for president. I agree with you, the amateurization of America, from Uber to academia to AirBnB to the White House, is a troubling trend. If only we'd all get certified by taking awesome online courses for only $299/month at tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. They just get sneakier and sneakier. Anyway, I'm totally just a fan writing to tell you I love your work.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-25 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167653
Caption: Will Oprah … I said no. Mainstream Media. Canada or bust. Can't I just ask will Oprah run for president one more time. No!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-20 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-20 Pub. Date: 2018-01-20
Image Number: 167360
Caption: Will work for $$$. Will explain the appeal of Donald Trump for $$$. (Originally published on 2016-01-02).
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-13 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 167094
Caption: I had a dream. I dreamt that in 2020, "The Rock" runs for president as an independent. The Republicans nominate Trump again. Democrats are so overconfident that they nominate the corpse of Woodrow Wilson. And while we're all distracted, Congress quietly eliminates elections altogether and they appoint an immortal A.I. as the chairman and CEO of the American Corporate Empire, LLC. I think I like Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech better. I'd tell you the rest, but you might as well just watch "The Matrix."
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-01 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-01 Pub. Date: 2018-01-01
Image Number: 166779
Caption: I published my new book, Clyde. It's all about how I met my girlfriend and how Trump became president. It's called "Canada or Bust!" … Available right now from my website, from Amazon, and from a bookstore near you. Bruh … is we havin' a conversation, or is you tryna sell me somethin'? I would never try to sell my own friends something Clyde. That'd be tacky. Is that your book right there in your hands with the title pointed at my face?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-17 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-17 Pub. Date: 2017-11-17
Image Number: 164874
Caption: Hello, you've reached Covered Candorville, Candorville's Affordable Care Act registry. Due to the outcome of the 2016 elections, this year's open enrollment period will be shorter than usual. Open enrollment for today begins in 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 … We're sorry, you've missed today's open enrollment window. Wait ... what? What just happened? ... Hello?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-03 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163371
Caption: I wonder why people didn't seem to care as much about the devastation in Puerto Rico as they did about Houston. You serious, bruh? How old you is, six? Seven? Is you even potty trained yet? Or was you asleep the last two years when the country elected a white supremacist for president? It's not always about race. Sometimes it's just about laziness. Five. I think you five.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-25 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163097
Caption: Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my entire life being a journalist. Why bother? History just repeats itself anyway. Dr. Noodle. I just started reading a political memoir I heard about on the radio this morning. M.A. The Democrat James M. Cox wrote it after he lost the election of 1920 to Harding. It's called "That Which Occurred." He also blamed his loss on Bernie Sanders. I hope I can be as sharp as Bernie at his age.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-03 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-03 Pub. Date: 2017-09-03
Image Number: 161589
Caption: If Democrats know what's good for them, they'll move further right. That's how they can win elections. All my conservative friends agree. And we tell that to every Democrat we see every chance we get. That's very considerate of you, to help out the opposition like that. Oh, I've always been considerate. When I was a small child, I used to let other kids copy my test answers before I changed them to the right ones. Wait ... what was that? What was what? You said you let kids copy your wrong answers before you changed them to the right answers. Did I? I don't think so. You did. It's exactly what you just said you did. If you know what's good for you, you'll just passively accept what others say without thinking too much about it. Let me guess: Your class was graded on a curve?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-29 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-29 Pub. Date: 2017-06-29
Image Number: 159711
Caption: Lemont's in Russia … Where'd you take Rudy Park? He was on the boat with me. I was writing a story about him when someone … Oh, come, come … It's as if you've never seen stooge whisked away by unmarked black van to meet with rich Mafia-connected oligarch before. Anyway, you wanted to talk about interference with election. No really, but ... ok. Which one? 1953 overthrow of Iran's Mossadegh? 1954 overthrow of Guatemala's Arbenz? 1960 overthrow of Congolese Prime Minister Lumumba? 1964 overthrow of Brazil's Goulart? 1973 coup in Chile? I see what you're doing. Oh wait ... those were yours.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-07 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157070
Caption: America sure is great agin, I'll tell ya what. After eight long years of darkness, we're finally seein' the light agin. I meant "darkness" as in the metaphorical sense. You know … as in wickedness, evilness or malignant stupidness. I by no means meant anything racial, and you implyin' I did ... well, that sorta assumption-makin' is why you fellas lost the election. Furd. Why are you assuming that I, myself, am not a Trump voter? Well, dang ... you got me on that one. I mean, I'm not ... but that's not the point.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-01 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157545
Caption: The Associated Press is fake news. And now we have iron-clad proof. We do? They "interviewed" Trump, but all of his answers were total gibberish. Completely unintelligible. Clearly, their fake-news-generating machine went haywire and just threw together a bunch of random nouns and adverbs. (Sigh) Trump is so going to win in 2020. I'm leading a mob to the AP building to burn the machine at the stake.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-31 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-31 Pub. Date: 2017-01-31
Image Number: 153972
Caption: I interviewed President Trump the other day. I think he really believes he only lost the popular vote because there were up to 5 million illegal votes … even though there's zero evidence of that. It didn't make sense 'til yesterday. Remember that line from the Seinfeld rerun we saw last night? "A lie is not a lie if you believe it." America elected George Costanza president.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-30 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-30 Pub. Date: 2016-12-30
Image Number: 152628
Caption: Ever since I got back from Canada, I've felt like I'm just drifting through my days. Dr. Noodle. Like yesterday, I was interviewing a source I'll call "Deep Throat" at a big pharmaceutical company who told me they're purposely trying to spread the opioid addiction problem to other countries ... because getting people to become dependent on opioid painkillers here has been so profitable. But I ended up just taking Deep Throat to a hockey game. That's normal. For non-Trump-voters, thinking of Canada is a good substitute for opioids.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-29 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-29 Pub. Date: 2016-12-29
Image Number: 152627
Caption: I think the main lesson from this election is, liberal elites should stop looking down on people who think minorities are taking their country. Liberals should be more sensitive to the feelings of those who just worry about their jobs, and about how they can tell jokes about gays and the blacks anymore without being called a bigot. That is clearly the main lesson. Maybe the main lesson is Democrats should nominate someone people like. The other lesson for liberals is they should be conservatives.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-04 election 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 151096
Caption: The other day, somebody in a red Trump hat actually to me to "Go back where you came from, n*****." I'm not surprised. That's been happening a lot. Trump's election encouraged white supremacists everywhere to come out of the shadows. They think it's their day again. Well this ain't Selma, an' I ain't Martin Luther the King. That fool found that out right quick, bruh. This ain't 1965. This here 2016. Fools better know "n*****s" be armed now. Oh god, Clyde! What did you do?! What did you do?! You had a gun?! No, I had an iPhone. I recorded the whole thing. Put it on Youtube. In just two hours, that fool got fired. Oh. Maybe we should all be packing iPhones for the next four years.
     
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