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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about eight .

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Result page:    2  Next  (26 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-07 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157070
Caption: America sure is great agin, I'll tell ya what. After eight long years of darkness, we're finally seein' the light agin. I meant "darkness" as in the metaphorical sense. You know … as in wickedness, evilness or malignant stupidness. I by no means meant anything racial, and you implyin' I did ... well, that sorta assumption-makin' is why you fellas lost the election. Furd. Why are you assuming that I, myself, am not a Trump voter? Well, dang ... you got me on that one. I mean, I'm not ... but that's not the point.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-04 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-04 Pub. Date: 2017-03-04
Image Number: 155071
Caption: What's life all about? Death. Erethang we do be about getting' what we can while we can. We ain't got but seven, eight decades to get all the naps, all the money, all the lovin', all the eatin', an all the tv-watchin' we can. I think we can do more that that in eight decades, Clyde. Life's about findin' five things you good at an' explorin' them to they fullest. You can't "explore" napping.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-09 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-09 Pub. Date: 2016-10-09
Image Number: 148825
Caption: Hello, you've reached Candorville county. This is Ryan 2.0. How may I hinder you? My son was mistakenly enrolled in Medicaid. I need him off that. Please listen carefully as our options may have changed. To discuss Medicaid eligibility, say "two." To report fraud, say "three." To report child or elder abuse, say "four." Two. To obtain a business license, say "five." "Two." To dispute a county tax lien or inquire about your property tax bill, say "six." "Two." To make a child support payment, say "seven." To send an inmate a care package, say "eight." "Two." I said TWO! TWO! TWO! TWO! Just put an actual person on the phone! That option is invalid. To purchase coroner gift shop merchandise, say "nine."
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-24 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-24 Pub. Date: 2016-04-24
Image Number: 141854
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump to warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system, they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-24 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-24 Pub. Date: 2015-09-24
Image Number: 132815
Caption: You can jump five more times, or you can jump six more times before going to sleep. It's up to you. How many more times do you want to jump? Five or six? Five-oh-thix. "506" was not one of the options, son. Uh-huh, daddy. You thed it. One! … Two! … Fwee! ... Eight! ... Ten! ... Fouw! ... Eleven! ... This is going to be a long night.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-29 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-29 Pub. Date: 2015-03-29
Image Number: 124250
Caption: I saw this video brothas be postin' on Facebook. It show three country brothas sittin' on they porch. The first brotha ask the other two, "If you goin' 80 miles per hour, how long does it take you to go 80 miles?" Them other two grown-#*$ men sit there an' think real hard about it. One of them sure it'd take eight hours. The other one more optimistic. He say it might take six. Then eight-hour brotha say he want the formula so he can get his calculations right. Do the question for you is, given all them variables, how long would it take three brothas to decide to make us all look bad on Facebook? Probably less than eight hours.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-31 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-31 Pub. Date: 2015-01-31
Image Number: 121966
Caption: What's life all about? Death. Erethang we do be about getting' what we can while we can. We ain't got but seven, eight decades to get all the naps, all the money, all the lovin', all the eatin', an all the tv-watchin' we can. I think we can do more than that in eight decades, Clyde. Life's about findin' five things you good at an' explorin' them to they fullest. You can't "explore" napping.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-30 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-30 Pub. Date: 2013-08-30
Image Number: 100805
Caption: I've been stopped and frisked eight times. Three of those times, the cop held a gun to my head. One of those times I had to lie face-down in the dirt. Mayor Bloomberg said it's the price I have to pay to make Americans feel safe. Aren't you an American? Only when it's time to pay taxes.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-23 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-23 Pub. Date: 2013-04-23
Image Number: 96079
Caption: What happened in Bothton? Well, ok … I'll start from the beginning … In 8,000 B.C., The last glaciers from the great ice age melted, and a small peninsula began to emerge … No, I mean what happened latht week? Thomebody thed thewwath a boom. Patience. We'll get to that in about eight years. Now, once the land defrosted, Native Americans moved in ...
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-06 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-06 Pub. Date: 2012-01-06
Image Number: 74806
Caption: Doctor Dogg's How to Live Large when you a broke #$% fool with no job! Honk! Do your wallet feel lighter these days? Yes. Is you payin' for Taco Bell with pennies and nickels? Yes. Well you ain't alone. But after just eight weeks of my course, we goin' have you payin' with dimes an' quarters. Stupid Great Recession.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-05 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-05 Pub. Date: 2010-06-05
Image Number: 48017
Caption: Hi, this is AT&T. Your monthly payment for your iPhone service is past due. Would you like to pay with a credit card? Yeah, I would. The number is five two thr … sv … zero zero n … f … two one … … eigh … n … ……. … zero. Um … could you repeat that, sir? I'm sorry ... Your adequate service in return for my monthly payment is past due.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-21 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-21 Pub. Date: 2010-03-21
Image Number: 45150
Caption: I've fallen in love with another woman. But my wife and I have so much history. This other woman, Kelly, makes me happy. And that makes me miserable! Nobody but my wife should make me happy. What kind of sick jerk am I to allow another woman to make me happy! But things just aren't like they used to be with my wife. We don't have the same spark we used to have. Hmmm ... I see. Should I move on, doc? Considering your wife left you for another man eight months ago, that might not be a bad idea. You don't think it's too soon?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-10 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-10 Pub. Date: 2010-01-10
Image Number: 42642
Caption: Know how Ms. Washington always said I'd never amount to nuthin'? Ms. Wash -- from first grade? … An' how when I sent Russell Simmons my first rap on the eight track, he shattered it with a baseball bat, lit it on fire and mailed it back to me C.O.D.? (Sigh) Just no call, doing that to a two-year-old. Well the C-Dog has finally arrived, fools. Look at this. A fan from Maine sent it. Is this a bear? Yeh, it -- what? No, fool, it's somebody SUV! An' the plates say "CDOGFAN"! MS. WASHINGTON, YOU AN' RUSSELL SIMMONS CAN KISS MY B ... Looks like a bear to me.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-18 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-18 Pub. Date: 2009-12-18
Image Number: 41949
Caption: … So I'm sick and tired of all this talk about Tiger Woods! He's just a guy who can hit a ball with a stick! He has no impact on my life or yours! For the love of God, somebody explain to me why the media thinks I care that Tiger Woods has a couple chicks on the side! Um ... actually, what I asked was, "Are you aware your best friend, Lemont is missing and no one's seen him for weeks?" And I thought the alleged mistress count was up to eight. Nine. ... What?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-03 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-03 Pub. Date: 2009-12-03
Image Number: 41432
Caption: I thought I knew the evil of gangs. Drive-bys, carjackings, garish bandanas … But y'know what? Americans don't know what hard-core gangs are. They're MUCH worse here in Mexico. Hmph. What would you know about gangs? I counseled gangbangers at Folsom Prison for eight years. I own the "New Jack City" DVD. It's not a competition.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-24 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-24 Pub. Date: 2008-08-24
Image Number: 26019
Caption: Monday. Barack Obama! Up by eight points in the latest poll. What's this mean, Chuck? Everything Chris. Tuesday. After all, McCain's up by two points with only two months 'til the election. So… Wednesday. …Clearly, he's going to have a hard time catching Obama, whose lead is widening. Thursday. ...And since they're virtually tied in the latest poll... Friday. ...The Obama campaign must be panicking... Friday afternoon. ...Because Obama's lead at this point just might be insurmountable.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-09 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-09 Pub. Date: 2008-05-09
Image Number: 23409
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. Mr. Humphrey, what did you mean by that? My good friends, I'm just saying that if I heard Martin Luther King Jr. say America "may go to hell"… I wouldn't have described King as a man of "love" and "justice." I am by no means implying that THIS MEANS MY OPPONENT, ROBERT F. KENNEDY, SECRETLY HATES AMERICA.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-08 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-08 Pub. Date: 2008-05-08
Image Number: 23354
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. What voters demand to know… …is why Democratic Presidential Candidate Robert F. Kennedy hasn't distanced himself from Reverend Martin Luther King Jr… …who recently described America as "the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today." Let's ask Kennedy's opponent, Hubert Humphrey, for an unbiased assessment. My good friends, this is troubling...
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-07 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-07 Pub. Date: 2008-05-07
Image Number: 23353
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. America is outraged by Martin Luther King Jr., who recently said this… "We've committed more war crimes almost than any nation in the world but God has a way of even putting nations in their place. Wolf, I don't think it's fair to form an opinion of a man based on a 10-second clip. Well, in fairness, Mr. Abernathy... ...we've played that clip 9,000 times, so it's more like a 25-hour clip. What?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-05-06 eight 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-05-06 Pub. Date: 2008-05-06
Image Number: 23352
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events of 1968 happen in 2008. Martin Luther King, Jr. is condemning America's violent foreign policy? Only one thing to do about that. Yeah. Ask ourselves if his critiques are factually correct, and if so, take action to remedy the problem he's revealed. I was gonna say "tar and feather him and make politicians apologize for knowing him," but your idea's good too.
     
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