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Candorville

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-25 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-25 Pub. Date: 2017-11-25
Image Number: 165152
Caption: Is the city getting smoggier, Susan? I used to be able to count the windows on the buildings across the bay from here. No, Lemont. The city's not getting smoggier. It's gotten a lot cleaner, actually. Are they making gravity heavier? It used to be a lot easier getting up here. Old man.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-23 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-23 Pub. Date: 2016-04-23
Image Number: 142117
Caption: Tyrone, for whom did you cast your vote? Anderson Jackson Perot Bradley Dean Sanders Chisolm. I figured that was the only candidate who could create real change. Of course, Reagan Bush Gore Bush Kerry Clinton Nixon Clinton won, in the end. That one almost always wins. No change is always easier than change.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-29 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-29 Pub. Date: 2015-10-29
Image Number: 134385
Caption: Is the city getting smoggier, Susan? I used to be able to count the windows on the buildings across the bay from here. No, Lemont. The city's not getting smoggier. It's gotten a lot cleaner, actually. Are they making gravity heavier? It used to be a lot easier getting up here. Old man.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-23 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-23 Pub. Date: 2014-11-23
Image Number: 118627
Caption: Let me give you C-Dog's abbreviated history of the United States. Chapter 12: "Thanksgiving." Buncha immigrants get on a boat an' go someplace where they don't even know how to feed themselves. Some Native brutha - an ex-slave named Squanto - teach them fools how to grow corn an' how not to eat poison ivy an' spit like that. In return for savin' they life, these immigrants give Squanto a chicken leg an' a coupon to Red Lobster, an' then steal his country. Then Abraham Lincoln sign a licensing deal with Hallmark to make an official "Thanks-Squanto-Now-Stick-Em-Up" day. That's not exactly what happened. They shorten that to "Thanksgiving" cuz it easier to fit on a card.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-18 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-18 Pub. Date: 2014-05-18
Image Number: 110848
Caption: I got so burned the other week when I grabbed my Massacreforce 7 Sr-25 carbine sniper rifle and rushed to support that Cliven Bundy guy. I had no idea he'd turn out to be a big old racist who'd say that "negroes" are lazy, idle porch-sitter who were better off as slaves than they are receiving public assistance. What a fool! What an idiot! We should've used the official code words! You don't say "negroes," you say "inner city." You don't say blacks are lazy parasites who should learn to pick cotton again, you say "the inner city has an 'entitlement culture.'" It's much easier to pretend racism is over when racists aren't so indelicate about it.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-08 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-08 Pub. Date: 2014-02-08
Image Number: 106777
Caption: I was talking to this guy on Date-A-Dude.com and right after we made a date, he just vanished. Why are guys such flakes, Lemont? It's simple, Susan. Good writers are often not very good speakers. If a guy's writing impressed you, but he's not as witty in person ... the pressure is just too much to take and it becomes much easier to just stay home and Netflix a "Star Trek" marathon. ... Um, or so I've heard.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-25 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-25 Pub. Date: 2012-11-25
Image Number: 89912
Caption: Let me give you C-dog's abbreviated history of the United States. Chapter 12: "Thanksgiving." Buncha immigrants get on a boat an' go someplace where they don't even know how to feed themselves. Some native brutha - an ex-slave named Squanto - teach them fools how to grow corn an' how not to eat poison ivy an' spit like that. In return for savin' they life, these immigrants give Squanto a chicken leg an' a coupon to Red Lobster, an' then steal his country. Then Abraham Lincoln sign a licensing deal with Hallmark to make an official "Thanks-Squanto-Now-Stick-Em-Up" day. That's not exactly what happened. They shorted that to "Thanksgiving" cuz it easier to fit on a card.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-24 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-24 Pub. Date: 2012-09-24
Image Number: 87790
Caption: Brown? Hi, Mr. White. No, I haven't decided yet. It'd be easier to come to work for you again if you would promise things would be different. Of course! Anything you want! … Aside from money, respect of a parking spot. I'm gonna need at least one out of three.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-03 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-03 Pub. Date: 2012-04-03
Image Number: 78533
Caption: Trayvon Martin visits Lemont's dream. After the shock wore off, America settled into its usual pattern. People tried to justify your death. They pointed out that you may have fought back. They brought up every little dumb teenage mistake you'd ever made, made up a few more, and posted some of your slang-filled tweets ... Because it's easier to sleep at night if we convince ourselves that people deserve the horrible things that happen to them. How's all that make you feel? Not lol.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-13 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-13 Pub. Date: 2012-03-13
Image Number: 77313
Caption: Why ith the thky blue? Well, it's simple son. Y'see the sunlight? Uh huh. You feel the air? Uh huh. Y'know how sunlight is composed of all the colors in the spectrum, but blue has the shortest, most energetic wavelength so it's easier for it to ping-pong off the oxygen molecules and appear to fill the sky? There was a sale on blue paint at Home Depot. Oh.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-08 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-08 Pub. Date: 2012-02-08
Image Number: 76089
Caption: No, Clyde, I don’t "need a woman." I just got out of a relationship. When a relationship ends badly, you need to be by yourself for a while … … To figure out what went wrong, so you won't repeat those mistakes next time. But I find repeating the same mistakes is much easier than figurin' out new ones. Good talk, Clyde.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-17 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-17 Pub. Date: 2011-05-17
Image Number: 60997
Caption: How your custody battle goin', Big L? Terrible. Roxanne's pretending she's never even heard of me. Uh oh … that's THE BIG LIE. Ain't nary a defense against the BIG LIE. It's easier to believe it than to accept that someone low 'nuff to make up a lie that blatant. You'd have a better chance if she'd said something that was sorta true ... Y'know ... like if she said you was poor, inadequate, slovenly, sorta fat, ne -- I GET IT.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-22 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-22 Pub. Date: 2010-01-22
Image Number: 43150
Caption: What's wrong, son? Nothing. Sometimes it's easier to confess your demons to a stranger than to loved ones. Strangers ain't got no baggage with you, so they're often more compassionate than loved ones. You ever hate y'self so much that you pretended you had amnesia so you wouldn't have to be you no more? No, that's just crazy.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-16 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-16 Pub. Date: 2008-08-16
Image Number: 25789
Caption: Gall-Mart summons thousands of workers to mandatory meetings. We're not telling you how to vote… We're just pointing out that if you vote for Obama, we'll make it easier for you to unionize. Then you'd all lose your jobs, become panhandlers, and live in a moldy cardboard box that smells of tuna. Thanks for not telling us how to vote. In the end, you'd beg for sweet, merciful death.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-22 easier 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-22 Pub. Date: 2007-05-22
Image Number: 17317
Caption: Skywriting? You're telling me you can't see me anymore through skywriting? I've been trying to tell you for months, Susan… …But you kept interrupting. I figured maybe a less direct approach would be easier for you. So you publicly humiliate me in front of the whole @#$% city, you @#$% jerk?! Idiota! Should've gone with the singing telegram. HAVE THEY HEARD OF E-MAIL ON YOUR PLANET?!
     
Result page:     (16 images)