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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about doors.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-23 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-23 Pub. Date: 2017-09-23
Image Number: 162853
Caption: If I promise to get you a new book tomorrow, will you go to sleep? Ith that a bwibe? Awe we cowooding? What do you mean "are we colluding?" Where did you hear language like that? Are you listening at my door while I'm watching the news again? You know you're not supposed to do that. If you'we impeached, do I become the new daddy? Go ... to ... sleep.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-29 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-29 Pub. Date: 2017-07-29
Image Number: 160762
Caption: Hello, you've reached Concast Cable's reconnection department. To answer your question, yes, we can reconnect the tv service you canceled for an additional $85/month. What are you talking about? I didn't ask you any questions. And you called me. Yes, we can be there tomorrow between 8-5. You people are getting desperate. Do not lean on door.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-26 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-26 Pub. Date: 2017-03-26
Image Number: 155437
Caption: Yesterday, I visited my 97-year-old grandpa for the first time in six months. Dr. Noodle. He opened his door. I said "Grandpa! I missed you!" He looked me up and down and said "You gained a pound." It was all I could think about the whole time. As I drove him to his favorite restaurant, I was worried the seatbelt made me look bulgy ... When we ordered, I felt like he was judging my choices and so I only ordered crackers and water. When I hugged him goodbye, I sucked my gut in as hard as I could. Why don't we just focus on the fact he hugged you? When he hugged me, he said "You at that whole cracker."
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-16 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154535
Caption: You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed censored I can't believe I owe five censored thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when He's doing his taxes? You're grounded.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-17 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-17 Pub. Date: 2017-01-17
Image Number: 153405
Caption: Ok … so here's what happened after Vancouver opened her door. Keep in mind, it'd been a year of longing anticipation. I'd had a year to rehearse what I would say and do once we met each other again. "I would stun her with my friendly smile, and melt her with my bedroom eyes ... I would approach her with a confident swagger and embrace her with loving arms ... I would whisper something charming she'd always remember." Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-16 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-16 Pub. Date: 2017-01-16
Image Number: 153404
Caption: Ok, I'm going to tell you what happened when Vancouver answered her door. Ok, since you asked. She and I … wait, what? What do you mean "since you asked"? I thought you asked how my week was. How did "I'm going to tell you what happened when Vancouver opened her door" sound like "how was your week?" How'd it sound like what? "How was your week?" Well, since you keep asking, I guess I'll tell you ...
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-19 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-19 Pub. Date: 2016-12-19
Image Number: 152369
Caption: So how'd Canada go, Lemont? How'd it go when you and "Vancouver" saw each other for the first time in a year? It went horribly. When she opened the door, it was fireworks all over again. The evening was pure magic. The next few days were even better. That does sound horrible. It was as if the great author in the sky were setting me up for a soul-crushing plot twist.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-15 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152113
Caption: Maybe I should just go back to America and forget about "Vancouver." If I cross this street, walk up that hill, and knock on her door … I'll ruin it for both of us. In-person romance is way different from Facebook. In person, you can't delete or edit your comments before hitting "send." You can't send perfect photos with perfect lighting and perfect angles. I would say "Stop being a punk #@$%," but we don't cuss in Canada.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-20 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-20 Pub. Date: 2016-09-20
Image Number: 148762
Caption: You're with what? "Jehovah's Alibi." Wit' all the terrible things happening in the world today … you may be wonderin' if a higher power know you done some o' that … and you may be wonderin' how you can blame that higher power for the stuff you done did. Tell me more. Kevin, give her a copy of the I-Ain't-Seen-Nothin' Tower.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-19 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-19 Pub. Date: 2016-09-19
Image Number: 148761
Caption: We don't want any. We ain't sellin' any. We jus' spreadin' the good news. Oh. No offense, but we don't want Jehovah's Witnesses ringing our doorbell. Me neither. But … I thought you were saying you were a Jehovah's Witness. Never said that. Oh. We with Jehovah's Alibi.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-06 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-06 Pub. Date: 2016-09-06
Image Number: 148215
Caption: This just in: Astronomers discover an earthlike planet orbiting the nearest star, Proxima Centauri. Click Some are starting to question whether there's proof Donald Trump's grandfather immigrated from Germany. He could have come from anywhere. Click ... Proxima Centauri is just 4.24 light years away. In cosmic terms that's right next door. This end up.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-22 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-22 Pub. Date: 2016-04-22
Image Number: 142116
Caption: Hi, this is Lemont Brown. I'm looking for a good preschool for my son, and you come highly recommended. Yes, he interacts "well" with other kids Yes, he "follows" directions Yes, he's potty "trained." What do you mean you're rejecting my son? Seriously? How could you tell I was using air quotes over the phone? ... Hello? Do not lean on door.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-13 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-13 Pub. Date: 2016-04-13
Image Number: 141798
Caption: I've been looking for you all day, Clyde. I'm in hiding, bruh. My phone be ringin' off the hook. People be bangin' on my door an whatnot askin' me for favors. Sometimes the only way a brotha can get some peace an' quiet is to run far away. I still have no idea how you came to be a superdelegate. It all started back in sixth grade when I set up that "Alibis Provided for $2" stand near city hall.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-15 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-15 Pub. Date: 2015-11-15
Image Number: 134847
Caption: I think I'm getting jaded, Doc. Dr. Noodle. A few weeks ago, Blingy & Poshman Jewelers in Candorville did something very, very racist. S. Pookie Blackman is a multimillionaire quarterback for the Candorville Chickens. He stopped by to check out some jewelry. As soon as they saw the 6'10" black man coming, the store employees locked the door, begged him to leave, and then when he rang the doorbell, they called the police. But when I heard all that, all I did was shrug and think "I hope he didn't end up buying anything." I see. It's normal. Sometimes your outrage-muscle needs a rest. I was able to work up some anger about the cops who asked him why he had a nice car.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-23 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-23 Pub. Date: 2015-06-23
Image Number: 128672
Caption: Hobbler Day Care. Saul Crusher speaking. Yeah, I'm Lemont Brown. Lionel's dad Yeah, two-year-old Lionel. He told me you said he was "bad" because he didn't want to go to sleep at nap time. When you tell a kid so early in his life that he's "bad," it affects how he sees himself. I don't pay you $500 per week to ruin my baby boy's self-esteem. When I say "you're a bad caregiver," how does that feel? Imagine if you were only two. Do not lean on door.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-21 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-21 Pub. Date: 2015-04-21
Image Number: 125855
Caption: Hello, you've reached Concast Cable's re-connection department. To answer your question, yes, we can reconnect the tv service you canceled, for an additional $85/month. What are you talking about? I didn't ask you any questions, and you called me. Yes, we CAN be there tomorrow between 8-5. You people are getting desperate. Do not lean on door.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-12 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-12 Pub. Date: 2015-04-12
Image Number: 124956
Caption: I read the government's using planes to spy on our cellphones. I think it's funny people care about that #$%@. The government been spyin' on me all my life, and didn't nobody care 'bout that. What do you mean? I step out my front door, the police watch from they car. If I walk by a cop, he ask what I got in my jeans. If I walk to 7-Eleven, the police ask where I'm goin'. When I get there, the security guard follow me around the store. Didn't nobody care about "government surveillance" when they thought it only happened to me. Where was Edward Snowman when cops was feelin' me up? Technically, security guards aren't the government.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-12 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-12 Pub. Date: 2015-02-12
Image Number: 122692
Caption: You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed (censored) I can't bewieve I owe five (censored) thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when he's doing his taxes? You're grounded.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-01 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-01 Pub. Date: 2014-11-01
Image Number: 118206
Caption: Did you and Lionel get a lot of candy when you went trick-or-treating? None at all. He wanted to go as a vampire. But I told him vampires are so clich. So I dressed him as a Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Not one of my better ideas.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-07 door 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-07 Pub. Date: 2014-09-07
Image Number: 115372
Caption: I taught Lionel how to call 911. WHAT?! What that little two-year-old boy ever done to you, Big L? Huh? Cops be outta control, bruh. If there a emergency an' he call 911, there a 50/50 chance the police'll help an' a 50/50 chance they gonna knock down the door without a warrant, toss in a flashbang grenade, an' pepper spray your toddler before draggin' his dad out in the hallway half naked. What is you thinkin' Big L? He's be better off if you teach him to call Domino's. Well, they would probably get there faster.
     
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