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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (47 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-16 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159772
Caption: Cool shirt. You gonna watch the new Star Trek tv show? No way! It's a horrible show and it's going to fail! What? Why? All the angriest people on the internet agree with me. It looks to much like J.J. Abrams' J.J. - Trek nonsense … It's a scam to distract from CBS suing fan film creators ... O ... K ... it looks too advanced to be a prequel, the bridge is on the bottom of the saucer and not the top, the Klingons look stupid ... O ... K ... I guess I can ... There are too many minorities on it ... it's on CBS All Access instead of on broadcast or Netflix ... Wait ... What?! I shouldn't have to pay $6 month and watch it where they want me to watch it. They should give it to me how I want it! Didn't you just get all racist for a second? It should be free. It shouldn't force "diversity" down my throat. I should be able to see it on the channel I want to see it on. There! Right there! You just did it again!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-15 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158076
Caption: This just in: A week's worth of oil has been found deep beneath Canardville, a suburb of Candorville. Oil companie … click. Photo of the Trump sons, Uday and Qusay, hunting an endangered bearicorn. The elusive half-bear, half-unicorn hybrid was once thought to be a myth, but ... Click. Putin appoints the notorious oligarch Kovarstvo Prestupnik to head up the newly created "Ministry of Blackmailing White House Stooges." Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiiife ...
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-04 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-04 Pub. Date: 2017-04-04
Image Number: 156466
Caption: Good game, Big L. You only put it in the wrong basket once. I was preoccupied, Clyde. Taxes are due. If I take too many deductions, my income'll look tiny and I won't qualify for a mortgage. I see, bruh. When we was kids, your excuse was "the sun was in my eyes." Also, I saw an unfamiliar mole and wondered if it was malignant.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-21 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-21 Pub. Date: 2016-12-21
Image Number: 152371
Caption: Ok … but what actually happened when you and Vancouver saw each other again? I want details! Well, after we spent a few days making up for lost time … After we were convinced that our entire lives led us to this point and we were meant to be together ... Oh wait, my pants are vibrating. I'm getting a call. For some reason, I'm starting to sense it all went horribly wrong. Y'know, what I just said to you would've made no sense at all when we were kids.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-05 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-05 Pub. Date: 2016-08-05
Image Number: 146692
Caption: Whachoo think of abortion, Big L? I think you're bringing up an emotional, divisive issue in order to distract me. Do you think Jesus woulda been against gay marriage 'cause he was black? Whatever, Clyde. I said I want that $2 you owe me. Did you know Jesus was an illegal immigrant?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-07 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-07 Pub. Date: 2016-06-07
Image Number: 144220
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of stepping out in her with her mother. I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! Lie detector results are in, and they show that you DID have relations with her mother. Sometimes you just need a break from the stupidity of the Donald Trump elections. Shh! They 'bout to say it Brian's son also be Brian' brother-in-law.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-04 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-04 Pub. Date: 2015-08-04
Image Number: 130584
Caption: Did you hear, Clyde? It's looking more and more like the EM drive may actually work! It could get from earth to the moon in four hours. It could reach Mars in 70 days. It could reach the nearest star in just 100 years! Don't you see? This is the "impulse drive" from Star Trek! This is the "Epstein drive" from The Expanse, only it's real! It could be the most important development in human history. Yet everyone's still talking about Donald Trump. When you talk geek, it make me physically ill, bruh.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-21 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-21 Pub. Date: 2015-05-21
Image Number: 127174
Caption: Erethang come an' go, Big L. Ain't nothin' forever. Good looks come an' go. Youth come an' go. Money come an' go. In the end, we all - every last one of us - be left with none of that. I'll say it again. Do you have my wallet, Clyde? All y'all wanna do is fight the inevitable.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-06 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-06 Pub. Date: 2013-11-06
Image Number: 103507
Caption: Garcia, hypothetically speaking, would it be considered appropriate if a CEO asked one of his executives to wear longer skirts Because this CEO's wife is SO afraid the CEO will stare at the executive's legs CEO of the YEAR 2002. That she's installed a surveillance camera in the CEO's glasses? I've got work to do, sir. Hypothetically, she's asking if you'd be willing to grow a mustache.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-21 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-21 Pub. Date: 2013-06-21
Image Number: 98187
Caption: Whatchoo think of abortion, Big L? I think you're bringing up an emotional, divisive issue in order to distract me. Do you think Jesus woulda been against gay marriage 'cause he was black? Whatever, Clyde. I said I want that $2 you owe me. Did you know Jesus was an illegal immigrant? Thug 4 Life.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-14 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-14 Pub. Date: 2013-06-14
Image Number: 97913
Caption: You know what I love about the comics, Susan? They make me forget about all the awfulness. For ten minutes, I get to pretend the world is nothing but goofy people doing goofy things. I get to pretend that things like prostate screenings dont even exist. It's not gonna be as bad as you think, Lemont. You never see a doctor probing Garfield's censored.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-07 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-07 Pub. Date: 2012-11-07
Image Number: 89423
Caption: Were surprised when the President stripped to his undershorts and shouted "Thank God that's over!" Click. Thug 4 Life. After the tornado carved out a path of destruction that looks like a middle finger, scientists believe Earth is not only alive, but very sarcastic. Click. Thug 4 Life. Walking toward the Mars Rover. It appears to be mankind's first image of a - Click. Thug 4 Life. This End Up. " ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiiiiife ... " Thug 4 Life.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-10 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-10 Pub. Date: 2012-07-10
Image Number: 51939
Caption: Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep. Oh. Go right ahead. By the way, did I tell you about the bed bug epidemic? Your bed may be infested with millions of blood-sucking insects. I can't sleep at all. 100% of those who suffer from insomnia will DIE!!! ... eventually. (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-18 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-18 Pub. Date: 2012-01-18
Image Number: 43927
Caption: twitter.com/candorville. Driving down the coast. Was about to complain about ugly offshore oil drilling platforms. Then I remembered: I'm DRIVING. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. (Originally published on 2010-02-12.)
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-08 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-08 Pub. Date: 2011-12-08
Image Number: 31626
Caption: Sir, I deserve a promotion and a raise. Garcia, ever seen my valedictorian trophy? After Yale, I did graduate work at the Larry Tate College of Advertising. All my years of training have prepared me for this moment. Hand me that trophy. Click. RUUMBLE. ...Sir? (Published originally on 2009-04-16)
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-08 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-08 Pub. Date: 2011-11-08
Image Number: 72735
Caption: Lemont interviews Herman Cain. Yeah, some women accused me of sexual harassment when I was CEO of the National Restaurant Association. And yeah, I said I didn't know anything about that, only to admit later I knew plenty about it. But this is all just a distraction. Can we please get back to discussing how I'm going to run government like I run a business.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-02 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-02 Pub. Date: 2011-10-02
Image Number: 65731
Caption: Mainstream Media. #1. Tea Party! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! MSM. Tea Party! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Do you have cough drops? I', not used to talking about things that really matter. Makes my throat itch. Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Wait ... what?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-17 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-17 Pub. Date: 2011-03-17
Image Number: 58579
Caption: Sir did you say your wife is dying? We should have seen it coming. Elizabeth drank nothing but diet cola for years. She was addicted. She drank a six-pack of that aspartame-laden concoction every day. Which led to some metabolic disorder, or to a stroke? Which led to her driving into the lake while trying to open a can.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-30 distraction 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-30 Pub. Date: 2011-01-30
Image Number: 56625
Caption: Whutsis? This is your wake-up call. No matter what you say or do, they'll call you a socialist who's trying to destroy capitalism. Saywhat now? You could give every CEO a big wet kiss Wrong number And they'd say you're forcing businesses to buy chapstick. Also, your ears aren't getting any smaller. YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!!
     
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