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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (32 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-16 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159772
Caption: Cool shirt. You gonna watch the new Star Trek tv show? No way! It's a horrible show and it's going to fail! What? Why? All the angriest people on the internet agree with me. It looks to much like J.J. Abrams' J.J. - Trek nonsense … It's a scam to distract from CBS suing fan film creators ... O ... K ... it looks too advanced to be a prequel, the bridge is on the bottom of the saucer and not the top, the Klingons look stupid ... O ... K ... I guess I can ... There are too many minorities on it ... it's on CBS All Access instead of on broadcast or Netflix ... Wait ... What?! I shouldn't have to pay $6 month and watch it where they want me to watch it. They should give it to me how I want it! Didn't you just get all racist for a second? It should be free. It shouldn't force "diversity" down my throat. I should be able to see it on the channel I want to see it on. There! Right there! You just did it again!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-15 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158076
Caption: This just in: A week's worth of oil has been found deep beneath Canardville, a suburb of Candorville. Oil companie … click. Photo of the Trump sons, Uday and Qusay, hunting an endangered bearicorn. The elusive half-bear, half-unicorn hybrid was once thought to be a myth, but ... Click. Putin appoints the notorious oligarch Kovarstvo Prestupnik to head up the newly created "Ministry of Blackmailing White House Stooges." Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiiife ...
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-04 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-04 Pub. Date: 2017-04-04
Image Number: 156466
Caption: Good game, Big L. You only put it in the wrong basket once. I was preoccupied, Clyde. Taxes are due. If I take too many deductions, my income'll look tiny and I won't qualify for a mortgage. I see, bruh. When we was kids, your excuse was "the sun was in my eyes." Also, I saw an unfamiliar mole and wondered if it was malignant.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-21 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-21 Pub. Date: 2016-12-21
Image Number: 152371
Caption: Ok … but what actually happened when you and Vancouver saw each other again? I want details! Well, after we spent a few days making up for lost time … After we were convinced that our entire lives led us to this point and we were meant to be together ... Oh wait, my pants are vibrating. I'm getting a call. For some reason, I'm starting to sense it all went horribly wrong. Y'know, what I just said to you would've made no sense at all when we were kids.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-14 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-14 Pub. Date: 2016-10-14
Image Number: 149613
Caption: I finally ran into Vancouver at a party that night. One thing led to another … and we found ourselves parked in her car at 2am on a bluff overlooking the moonlit ocean. It was magical. It felt as if the earth was no bigger than that car, that we were the only two people on it, and it was moving beneath our feet. Turns our we'd forgotten to set the parking break. We rolled downhill into a police car.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-05 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-05 Pub. Date: 2016-08-05
Image Number: 146692
Caption: Whachoo think of abortion, Big L? I think you're bringing up an emotional, divisive issue in order to distract me. Do you think Jesus woulda been against gay marriage 'cause he was black? Whatever, Clyde. I said I want that $2 you owe me. Did you know Jesus was an illegal immigrant?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-07 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-07 Pub. Date: 2016-06-07
Image Number: 144220
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of stepping out in her with her mother. I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! Lie detector results are in, and they show that you DID have relations with her mother. Sometimes you just need a break from the stupidity of the Donald Trump elections. Shh! They 'bout to say it Brian's son also be Brian' brother-in-law.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-21 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-21 Pub. Date: 2015-05-21
Image Number: 127174
Caption: Erethang come an' go, Big L. Ain't nothin' forever. Good looks come an' go. Youth come an' go. Money come an' go. In the end, we all - every last one of us - be left with none of that. I'll say it again. Do you have my wallet, Clyde? All y'all wanna do is fight the inevitable.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-02 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-02 Pub. Date: 2015-05-02
Image Number: 126135
Caption: OK, I have to admit, that was a really good film. What was your favorite part? Avengers. My favorite part was seeing Elizabeth Olsen play the Scarlet Witch. I remember when she was the baby on "Full House." So not only did I get to feel incredibly old, I also got to be distracted by the image of "Uncle Jessie" singing to her that kept running through my head. She wasn't on "Full House." Those were her older twin sisters. Avengers. Well then they should've put "she wasn't on' Full House'" on the posters.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-21 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-21 Pub. Date: 2013-06-21
Image Number: 98187
Caption: Whatchoo think of abortion, Big L? I think you're bringing up an emotional, divisive issue in order to distract me. Do you think Jesus woulda been against gay marriage 'cause he was black? Whatever, Clyde. I said I want that $2 you owe me. Did you know Jesus was an illegal immigrant? Thug 4 Life.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-23 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-23 Pub. Date: 2010-12-23
Image Number: 55458
Caption: It's gonna be a good Christmas. How do you know? The president believes the debt commission hasn't gone far enough in recommending cuts to services for the poor, the middle class and the elderly. So, meet the new Co-Chairmen of the debt commission: The Grinch, and Ebenezer Scrooge. I don't believe that happened, Lemont. With those two guys distracted, Christmas is gonna be great.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-12 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-12 Pub. Date: 2010-11-12
Image Number: 53960
Caption: Sasha Mitchell, my "one who got away" from college, just Facebooked me. I'm not sure I should write back. You can either use this Sasha Mitchell as a drug to help distract you from your disastrous relationship with your evil ex or you can take time to really examine your life and figure out what YOU need in order to have a happy, healthy relationship. There are lots of good drugs. Aspirin ... Tums ... Fascinating.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-07 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-07 Pub. Date: 2010-09-07
Image Number: 51715
Caption: People always say the clouds are like heaven. But it actually looks kind of boring. Do you mind? I feel like this day lasted three and a half months. I just want a nap. Sometimes I think of napping on the clouds, 'cause they look really comfortable. ... But then I'd end up falling straight through them to my death. Are you sure? Why don't you try?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-09 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-09 Pub. Date: 2010-05-09
Image Number: 47016
Caption: Hello? This is your wake-up call. Whenever you dont' want to face your problems, you distract yourself with meaningless details. Whenever? You do it an awful lot. "Whenever" implies always. I think "whenever" is a common idiom. But that's beside the ... what was I saying earlier? Earlier when? Just now, or years ago?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-31 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-31 Pub. Date: 2009-08-31
Image Number: 37997
Caption: Big L, whachoo doin' sitting in here where it all dark and depressing? It's life, Clyde. Life is a dark, hopeless abyss of darknessy hopelessness. Nothing means anything. Nothing's important. It's all a futile waste of How'd you get in my apartment? That's not important right now.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-24 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-24 Pub. Date: 2009-07-24
Image Number: 36555
Caption: This just in, for the past 3 weeks Iran has held an American journalist hostage! His paper kept quiet about it in an effort to safeguard his life. Once my translator escaped, he bravely came back and distracted my Basij captors, giving me a chance to escape. Aside from brutally suppressing democratic protests, the Basij also fancies itself the "Moral Police." Lalo's solution was pure genius, someday -- Naked cartwheels. Opp-stay! Ave-say at-thay or-fay the ook-bay eel-day! ?Que?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-22 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-22 Pub. Date: 2009-07-22
Image Number: 36429
Caption: In other news, a government jet was lost today when it accidentally flew straight up instead of horizontal for five hours. Officials suspect the pilot may have been distracted because he was text messaging. I told you, we're fine. We're exactly where we need to be to rescue your journalist. See? I'd know the white sands of the Iranian desert anywhere. Nuts. Foompsh.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-08 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-08 Pub. Date: 2009-07-08
Image Number: 35970
Caption: Michael Jackson visits Lemont's dream. Ever heard of parents selling their innocent little boy's soul to the devil? Heh. Yeah. "Reaper." Now that was a TV show. Of course, since I loved that show, it got canceled. I've got a pretty bad track record when it comes to my favorite show getting-- Hello! Dead superstar here shedding light on his inner demons! Can we please focus?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-13 distract 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-13 Pub. Date: 2009-05-13
Image Number: 32346
Caption: I'll run that way to distract the cops, you go in an' get Lemont. It's not TV, Clyde. That won't work. Let's say you a cop. You see a brutha dressed like me running down the street. You wouldn't keep an eye on me? Go get Lemont in 3 2 I admit nothing.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (32 images)