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Result page:    2  3  Next  (49 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-28 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-28 Pub. Date: 2017-11-28
Image Number: 165418
Caption: Of course my mama's fine. She has a memory like a steel trap. She remembers every cute thing I ever said to her. She remembers every time I snuck out to meet a boy. She remembers every time I called her to tell her I won a new client. She just doesn't remember she remembers all that. I just remembered the definition of "denial."
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-29 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-29 Pub. Date: 2017-10-29
Image Number: 163801
Caption: Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one in the office who notices the boss is a moron. Dr Noodle. Well … is he a moron? Certifiably. I even looked up the definition to be sure. A "moron" is defines as "a stupid person." So then I looked up "stupid" just to be sure. It means "having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense." I see you've given this a lot of thought. Yeah. Problem is, the last time he displayed his dingbattery I lose my temper and said "moron" out loud. The cretin heard about it. So to cover my behind, I had everyone gather around me and I praised him effusively. I laid it on thick, really buttered him up. Any intelligent person would have seen right through that. But your boss bought it. Instantly! See? Moron! How come no one else at works sees it?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-15 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-15 Pub. Date: 2017-10-15
Image Number: 163143
Caption: Hello, you've reached Lowe an' Sharke Lending Club. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad from you in the mail saying I'm pre-qualified for an $80,000 low-interest loan, with no collateral needed. That's right. All I need is for you to answer a few brief questions so we can see if you qualify. What do you mean? You said I was already pre-qualified. Doesn't "pre-qualified" mean I've been qualified already. No. It means you haven't been qualified yet. What the -- By that definition, everyone in the whole world is "pre-qualified"! That's incorrect, sir. There are about 101 billion post-living people who wouldn't qualify.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-23 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-23 Pub. Date: 2016-09-23
Image Number: 148765
Caption: "Fraud: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesn't. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "Prison: A building in which people are legally held as a ... " Never mind, it was just an idea.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-17 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-17 Pub. Date: 2015-01-17
Image Number: 121389
Caption: ... So then I told the cry-baby "stop all this continual begging and pleading, and take this like a man." Pardon me, I couldn't help overhearing. "Continual" means it happens regularly with obvious lapses in time. If you meant the begging was nonstop, the proper word is "continuous." What if the pleading only happened whenever there was a pause in the sobbing? Oh. Well then, you were right.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-07 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-07 Pub. Date: 2014-11-07
Image Number: 118499
Caption: I miss those late-night dorm room conversations that could make me see the world differently. For instance, if we were in college right now … … I might point out that we're all basically surgically attached to our Smartphones. Which means we've evolved into A SPECIES OF CYBORGS. ... And that if you Google the definition of "cyborg" to prove me wrong, THAT'LL PROVE ME RIGHT. You right, that DID make me see things different. Now I know I didn't miss nothin' not going to college.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-18 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-18 Pub. Date: 2014-09-18
Image Number: 116481
Caption: "FRAUD: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesn’t. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "PRISON: A building in which people are legally held as a punishment. Never mind, it was just an idea.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-25 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-25 Pub. Date: 2014-08-25
Image Number: 115528
Caption: I had the strangest dream last night, Susan. I dreamt I was coming home on a subway train. From where? I don’t remember. Someplace incredible, is all I know. Anyway, just as the train. "Incredible" good or "incredible" bad? It was a place where a person could tell a story without being interrupted. Sorry.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-24 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-24 Pub. Date: 2014-07-24
Image Number: 114099
Caption: We're being overrun by illegals. You're gonna have to narrow that down. Do you mean jaywalkers? Embezzlers? Contractors who ignore environmental regulations? Bosses who ignore workplace safety laws? People who don’t pick up after their dogs? People who cheat on their taxes? People who speed? People who litter? People who sing copyrighted songs like "Happy Birthday" in public without paying royalties? There are an awful lot of "illegals" out there. I think you know what I mean.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-03 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-03 Pub. Date: 2014-01-03
Image Number: 105641
Caption: I don't want to argue. This isn't arguing. I'm not even yelling. Arguments don’t need yelling. Arguments can be intense discussions filled with obstinate logic and infuriatingly literal reasoning. Arguments do need yelling. Shall we look up "need" in the dictionary? Whatever. You can't win a non-argument with an incomplete sentence. Whatever WHAT? (This cartoon originally published 2011-01-07).
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-12 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-12 Pub. Date: 2013-02-12
Image Number: 93311
Caption: Whachoo mean e'rething be dying? There are fewer family farms, fewer newspapers … Seems like fewer everything. Thug 4 Life. The only things growing are our waistlines. … That's a little hyperbole. It might not be completely right, but I wouldn’t call it "hyper-bull-y." If I thought you knew what I meant, I'd thank you. Hyper-depressing, maybe. Thug 4 Life.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-08 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-08 Pub. Date: 2012-12-08
Image Number: 90582
Caption: The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not … It's lack of mental capacity legally freeing one from civil or criminal responsibility. The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not ...
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-26 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-26 Pub. Date: 2012-08-26
Image Number: 86040
Caption: We raised your APR because one of your credit cards maxed out. I know. It's your card, and it's only maxed out because you lowered my credit limit to exactly what I owe you. Sir, if you keep a high balance on your card, you appear to be a credit risk and so we have to raise your APR. Did you listen to what I said?! That depends. I always confuse the words "listen" and "hear." Which one means purposely paying attention to noise for the purpose of comprehending it? "Listen." Oh. Then I hear you, sir.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-23 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-23 Pub. Date: 2012-01-23
Image Number: 75717
Caption: Tyrone, in all the years we've been together, I've never once seen you dance. What a coincidence, I was just thinking that I've never once made a rude observation about your inability to enjoy life. I don't think "coincidence" means what you think it means. What a coincidence, I don't care. Spare change?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-06 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-06 Pub. Date: 2011-12-06
Image Number: 31624
Caption: "Promotion: (noun) the act of raising someone to a higher position or rank." See, sir? It IS a real word. Oh ... IS it? Sir, you can't refute a fact just by questioning it in a cynical tone of voice while raising one eyebrow. Oh, CAN'T I? No, you can't. (Published originall on 2009-04-14)
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-05 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-05 Pub. Date: 2011-12-05
Image Number: 31623
Caption: I'm not sure why you need to talk with me about your promotion. You're my top man, Garcia. You've been handling promotions on your own for years. You handled Pepsi, and Dr. Sasquatch's Depilatory for Extremely Hairy Chicks. No ... Sir ... By "promotion," I mean I want to take on more responsibility for more money and a better title. Oh, I see! I'm not familiar with that usage of the term. (Published originally on 2009-04-13)
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-24 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-24 Pub. Date: 2011-09-24
Image Number: 65730
Caption: The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not. It's lack of mental capacity legally freeing one from civil or criminal responsibility. The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-07 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-07 Pub. Date: 2011-01-07
Image Number: 55835
Caption: I don't want to argue. This isn't arguing. I'm not even yelling. Arguments don’t need yelling. Arguments can be intense discussions filled with obstinate logic and infuriatingly literal reasoning. Arguments do need yelling. Shall we look up "need" in the dictionary? Whatever. You can't win a non-argument with an incomplete sentence. Whatever WHAT?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-02 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-02 Pub. Date: 2010-10-02
Image Number: 52456
Caption: I can't hardly wait for the full moon, when I get to turn into a we-- Pardon me, I couldn’t help but overhear … I think you meant to say "I can hardly wait." "Hardly" already means you can barely wait. "Can't hardly" is a double negative. It implies that you CAN wait. I can hardly believe no one's punched you in the face before now. Perfect!
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-10 definition 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-10 Pub. Date: 2010-08-10
Image Number: 50719
Caption: Lemont wrote his book, Katrina's Ghost, as if he'd interviewed the ghost of a Hurricane Katrina victim. How'd you come up with that ingenious metaphor? By interviewing the ghost of a Katrina victim. Metaphorically, of course. No, actually. By "actually," you of course mean "metaphorically." By "actually," I actually mean "actually."
     
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