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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about things that are deep .

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (65 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-10 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-10 Pub. Date: 2019-11-10
Image Number: 180284
Caption: My Uncle Elroy passed away. I have so many regrets. We were never all that close. But he was always there, for all my graduations, for all the family dinners, and to take me to ballgames. But the last three years, our relationship was … not good. We argued all the time about Donald Trump. Oh my. He fell for ever conspiracy theory. He'd send me link after link to dailynutjob.com, and I'd respond with links of my own to actual news, to scientific journals, etc. The last time we messaged each other, he accused me of being part of the Deep State, and I accused him of being gullible. I see. You regret that you wasted his last years on earth arguing about Donald Trump. I regret that Uncle Elroy's not here to see Donald Trump finally get impeached.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-06 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-06 Pub. Date: 2019-11-06
Image Number: 180253
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window and saw the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib- Lionel later told me he'd called anonymously, using the name Daniel Tiger, so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-18 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-18 Pub. Date: 2019-07-18
Image Number: 178562
Caption: Candorville.com says we discovered tons of microbes living deep inside the earth. You know what this means? Scientists are pretty sure both Venus and Mars were habitable a long time ago. If microbes ever existed on either planet, then it's almost guaranteed they're still alive there, deep inside the earth ... I mean, deep inside the Venus. And the Mars. Hey, if we get to call dirt by our planet's name, so do those alien microbes ... and so the advocacy begins. That's your earthier privilege talking.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-16 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-16 Pub. Date: 2019-07-16
Image Number: 178560
Caption: In just one handful of soil, there are about 50 million bacteria. Oh wow. There's a biomass of billions of tons of microbes living 600 meters underground. Do you have any idea what this means, Susan? It means there's more bacteria deep inside the earth than animals on the surface of it. But on the other hand, it's all gross, so we still come out ahead. Don't get the biomass angry, Lemont.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-20 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-20 Pub. Date: 2018-12-20
Image Number: 175482
Caption: What should I get your two-year-old for Christmas, Big L? Lionel would love a bronze replica of the starship Defiant, from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. You a bad father, Big L. I said what's he want? That IS what he wants! … Also an adult sized Captain Sisko uniform he can grow into. BAD father. (This cartoon was previously published on 2014-12-04)
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-29 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-29 Pub. Date: 2018-11-29
Image Number: 175157
Caption: Did you catch the Ask Sadie Show? They were talking about immortality. You're interrupting today's How to be an Alpha lesson, little buddy. They said that in just 30 years, we'll be able to transfer our minds to a server, shoot it into deep space where the cold will help the hard drive to survive for eons, and live in a virtual. But what if we've already done that? What if it's like the Matrix, or like Elon Musk's theories, and nothing we see is really real? What if right now, we're in a hard drive orbiting Ur ... As I was saying ... Alphas don't tell Uranus jokes.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-17 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-17 Pub. Date: 2018-09-17
Image Number: 174072
Caption: What ever happened to that book you was writing? I don't want to talk about it, Clyde. Nineteen months of secret interviews, rigorous fact-checking, dozens of clandestine 2a.m. meetings in a parking garage with over 25 deep throats … and just before my book comes out, fifteen dozen other books come out with the same !@#$ information. Run for Your Lives! An inside look at the kookiest White House in history got shelved. I ain't sure I don't want to talk about it mean what you think it mean, bruh.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-22 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-22 Pub. Date: 2018-08-22
Image Number: 173656
Caption: A voice from somewhere deep in the air duct system told me to be still, and to listen for the cries of a child, for it would lead me to a refugee whose story must be told. So I did. I stilled my mind … and it led me to wonder if I'd paid the gas bill, if I was missing an Amazon delivery, and if that cretin Gary226 had admitted defeat yet in our Facebook argument. Dios mio. Then I stilled my mind again ...
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-08 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169718
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard this computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he's discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-05 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168180
Caption: You know my favorite part of the president's State of the Union speech? Tell me. The lame SJW response by that beta Congressman Joe Kennedy III. It was equal parts virtue-signaling, multiculturalism, political correctness, and run-of-the-mill snowflakery. (Sigh) ... labeling-away speech and people we don't like is one of mankind's oldest pastimes. Spoken like a typical, deep-state, crybaby, anti-neoreacitonaryist.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-24 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-24 Pub. Date: 2017-05-24
Image Number: 158342
Caption: We don't suspect you of helping Russia blackmail the president. It's your college roommate, Rudy Park. He's the mole. Ithee. Thn hwcm imn hur? You and I go way back, Lemont. Of all the journalists I've monitored, you're by far my favorite. Mmble. Huh? I said "Untie me and let me go, you fascist, jack-booted thug!" Anyway, you've heard of "Deep Throat," right? Well ... first thing we need to do is come up with a good code name for me.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-15 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158076
Caption: This just in: A week's worth of oil has been found deep beneath Canardville, a suburb of Candorville. Oil companie … click. Photo of the Trump sons, Uday and Qusay, hunting an endangered bearicorn. The elusive half-bear, half-unicorn hybrid was once thought to be a myth, but ... Click. Putin appoints the notorious oligarch Kovarstvo Prestupnik to head up the newly created "Ministry of Blackmailing White House Stooges." Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiiife ...
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-04 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-04 Pub. Date: 2017-05-04
Image Number: 157548
Caption: I think you're just jealous, Clyde. Of what? Of me. Because I have a child. A little guy who looks up to me and loves me to death. A little guy I get to teach, and care for, and laugh and play with, and read stories to. A little guy I get to lead on a journey. Deep down, you wish you had what I have, Clyde. Admit it. I'll say it once mo' again: I ain't babysittin' for you tonight.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-30 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-30 Pub. Date: 2016-12-30
Image Number: 152628
Caption: Ever since I got back from Canada, I've felt like I'm just drifting through my days. Dr. Noodle. Like yesterday, I was interviewing a source I'll call "Deep Throat" at a big pharmaceutical company who told me they're purposely trying to spread the opioid addiction problem to other countries ... because getting people to become dependent on opioid painkillers here has been so profitable. But I ended up just taking Deep Throat to a hockey game. That's normal. For non-Trump-voters, thinking of Canada is a good substitute for opioids.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-30 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149667
Caption: What do you mean you're already dressed for the Halloween party? I'm going as a man who's been so crushed by the crumbling economy that he's sunk into a deep, dark chasm of despair … A man who feels so powerless and frustrated that he'll vote to overturn the rotten system, even if it means voting for a bigoted, thin-skinned, narcissistic chicken little who's always taken advantage of that system. Dios mio. Can't you tell? Make America Great Again.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-15 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-15 Pub. Date: 2016-09-15
Image Number: 148482
Caption: Hi. I'm Lemont. I'm on my way to the airport. Heading to Vancouver to spend a week with the girl of my dreams. O … K … It's weird how it feels like I haven't seen her in months. I mean, we text all the time. We send each other photos, too. Not "Anthony Weiner" style photos ... I'm talking completely tasteful stuff ... mostly. You're not really a "small talk" kind of guy are you?
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-30 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-30 Pub. Date: 2016-04-30
Image Number: 142414
Caption: Why do I keep a journal of my son's firsts? Because they're precious moments. Why they "precious"? … Because they happen once and then they're gone forever, living only in a parent's memories. Is they still precious if they ALSO live on in your hard drive, the NSA files and Edward Snowman's briefcase? First time I've ever heard Clyde be so deep. Yeah. I wish I'd recorded that. You ain't never learnin'. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-02).
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-24 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-24 Pub. Date: 2015-08-24
Image Number: 131713
Caption: I can't get to sleep, Clyde. Say what, Big L? When we were kids and you slept over, we'd talk about aliens and stuff all night if we couldn't get to sleep. Yeh, but uh … when you grown and you can't sleep, you call a woman, not no 'nother dude. That's kinda ... you know ... You think aliens are ever homophobic? Last thing I wanna hear when I'm in bed is a deep voice.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-10 deep 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-10 Pub. Date: 2015-08-10
Image Number: 130933
Caption: I just watched "Deep Space Nine" all the way through for the eighth time. But this time I didn't enjoy it very much. I was … bored. What does that say about me? Could it be I have a thyroid problem or cardiac condition or some other illness that causes depression? Maybe it just means you'd already seen it seven times. I tried to schedule a doctor appointment, but they refused. Thanks a lot, Obamacare.
     
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