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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about things that are dead .

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Result page:    2  Next  (26 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-18 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 164087
Caption: I want you to know how hard this is for me.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-21 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-21 Pub. Date: 2016-09-21
Image Number: 149006
Caption: New Tales of Wells Fargo. Where the hell did that Indian come from? Wells, Fargo & Co. Elizabeth Warren. Notice to Employees. Drop Dead.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-02 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-02 Pub. Date: 2016-08-02
Image Number: 146947
Caption: See … I prefer people who didn't get sons killed in wars … Humayun Saqibmuazzam Khan. Cpt US Army. Sept 9 1976.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-05-11 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-05-11 Pub. Date: 2016-05-11
Image Number: 143271
Caption: Transgenders! Think You Can Flout the Law In North Carolina? Not While Governor Pat McCrory is Around! What? Hmmm … Ah, hah! So Vote for Pat McCrory! Your tax dollars at work! Dead or alive!! SWAT
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-12-20 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-12-20 Pub. Date: 2015-12-20
Image Number: 136963
Caption: Trump Loves Putin. Where's the proof that Putin killed journalists? Look his hands are clean … So, what did you get him for Christmas? The usual … gloves.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-02-17 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-02-17 Pub. Date: 2014-02-17
Image Number: 107856
Caption: Over US Objections Karzai Releases Prisoners Including Taliban Terrorists. Watch your step … US Afghan war dead. US.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-01-23 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-01-23 Pub. Date: 2014-01-23
Image Number: 106893
Caption: Assad's Friends. It is great to have friends who understand … A hundred thousand dead … half the country in ruins? Russia. Perfectly understandable, nothing we wouldn’t have done. China.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-08-11 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-08-11 Pub. Date: 2013-08-11
Image Number: 100429
Caption: Out at Yankee Stadium Loyal Fans Advise A-Rod. Shame! On you. A-Fraud go home. Fuggedabaddit! Get lost! A-Rod drop dead! Beah! Beer. I can't remember when I've had more fun at a baseball game. Hey! A-Rod you stink! Loser! A-Rod die.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-07-03 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-07-05 Pub. Date: 2013-07-03
Image Number: 98994
Caption: Instruction from Assad. Egypt (heart) Morsi. You want to stay in power? Here, I'll show you. Assad. Syria (heart) Assad. 90,000 dead.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-04-15 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-04-15 Pub. Date: 2013-04-15
Image Number: 95964
Caption: Why can't congress get gun control legislation done? Well, we do have to think about re-election and retirement. Of course, we wouldn't expect you to understand any of that.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-05 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-05 Pub. Date: 2013-03-05
Image Number: 96032
Caption: Political Philosophy Department. I was dead set against Obamacare … But now, not so much. I was strongly against deficit spending! Now I think oh, well … I was never going to give in on gay marriage! But, now … who cares … That leaves tax increases … Which I will fight to my dying day! No tax increases! I mean ... a political party has to believe in something.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-11-07 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-11-07 Pub. Date: 2012-11-07
Image Number: 89671
Caption: Assad On the Election. Same here as in the United States. We just count the dead instead of votes. Syria.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-27 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-27 Pub. Date: 2012-08-27
Image Number: 86898
Caption: Assad Told Not To Use Chemical Weapons Or Else … You think anyone will actually interfere if we use chemical weapons? I doubt it … they haven't done anything yet.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-08-13 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-08-13 Pub. Date: 2012-08-13
Image Number: 86086
Caption: What Was the Best Part of the Olympics? We took a vote, m'a'm! The best part was you jumpin' out of the helicopter! Dead brill! ER. The Spotted Kilt.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-02-22 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-02-22 Pub. Date: 2012-02-22
Image Number: 76852
Caption: Journalist Marie Colvin and Photographer Remi Ochlik Die in Homs Trying to Get Message Out. Do something.
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-12-27 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-12-27 Pub. Date: 2011-12-27
Image Number: 74758
Caption: Mr. Assad explains the situation in Homs to Arab League monitors. Now, this fellow here ... well, obviously ... a heart attack or a regrettable suicide.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-12-19 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-12-19 Pub. Date: 2011-12-19
Image Number: 74537
Caption: Kim Jong Il Enters Hell. We though we'd have you bunk here with another dear leader … No smoking. Mgt.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-20 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-20 Pub. Date: 2011-10-20
Image Number: 67180
Caption: Khadaffy Dead. Well, Muammar, I don't know about the rest of the world, but I'll miss you. WAR. Job posting. Power-mad leader. Must be vicious meglomaniac. No regard for human life. Well-versed in mideast values. Apply Tripoli, Bengazi, wherever. Procedure is highly competitive.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-07-24 dead 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-07-24 Pub. Date: 2011-07-24
Image Number: 63756
Caption: The Situation in Norway. Intolerance.
     
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