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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about being dark .

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Result page:    2  Next  (32 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-03 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-03 Pub. Date: 2019-05-03
Image Number: 177387
Caption: You know what I ain't had in a long time? Someone throwin' me a party. That's because the last time I threw you a party, you punched me in the throat. Not my fault. That what you do when you walk in your apartment an' somebody be lurkin' there in the dark. It was a surprise party. You looked surprised.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-11 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-11 Pub. Date: 2019-03-11
Image Number: 176724
Caption: I agree with Steven Spielberg: If it's made for Netflix, it's not a movie. A movie is something made for a big giant screen in a big giant dark room where you watch it with big giant crowds munching on big giant tubs of popcorn. A movie is something you can loudly talk over to register your opinion with the masses. you almost had me. it's a communal experience.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-02 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174289
Caption: I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-11 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-11 Pub. Date: 2018-04-11
Image Number: 170411
Caption: Maybe you'd understand owning a gun if you were a single female living alone. Wait … are you trying to tell me you own a gun, Susan? Remember how I was walking home six year ago, and a guy stepped out of a dark alley, dragged me into it, and got the better of me? What? Oh my god, I don't remember that at all! That's 'cause it didn't happen. Because I was armed and he ran away. What else could've made him do that? A taser ... pepper spray ... souvenir nunchucks from Panda Express ... the list is endless.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-08 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169718
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard this computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he's discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-19 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-19 Pub. Date: 2017-08-19
Image Number: 161536
Caption: It's estimated the Amazon contains about 100 tribes never contacted by outside civilization. And there are hundreds more uncontacted people in jungles all over the world. They've probably never heard of the black plague, or the Dark Ages, or the Mongol hordes, or World War II, or Donald Trump ... and we've never heard of all the calamities they've survived, either.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-04 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158134
Caption: I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it could be day-old sludge made with tap water from Flint? I thought you said you'd never been here before. Siri, where's the nearest Starbucks?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-05 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-05 Pub. Date: 2017-02-05
Image Number: 153474
Caption: Larry Wilcox ain't happy 'bout that new Chips movie, dawg. Larry who? Larry Wilcox, bruh. Can't believe you ain't remember "Jon" from Chips. Ponch & Jon, bruh, you know. Anyway … I saw the trailer, I laughed, ain't gonna lie. But then I checked his Facebook, like I often do. You do? Often? He pointed out this ain't nothin' like the show he was on. The one we watched when we was kids. An' he right. An' it got me thinkin' about all these reboots. Why they always takin' serious shows an' rebooting them as comedies? Why can't they go the other direction? I think I speak for us all when I say I wanna see a dark, gritty remake of Mr. Belvedere. I'm not sure "us all" means what you think it means.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-04 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-04 Pub. Date: 2017-02-04
Image Number: 153976
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, I'm not happy with the changes you made to that movie trailer I produced for DC. It's supposed to be a light-hearted superhero comedy. And? Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. And, you somehow made it look all dark and gritty and brutal. And? "Bat-Cow" is not supposed to seem this serious. Let's agree to disagree.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-30 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149667
Caption: What do you mean you're already dressed for the Halloween party? I'm going as a man who's been so crushed by the crumbling economy that he's sunk into a deep, dark chasm of despair … A man who feels so powerless and frustrated that he'll vote to overturn the rotten system, even if it means voting for a bigoted, thin-skinned, narcissistic chicken little who's always taken advantage of that system. Dios mio. Can't you tell? Make America Great Again.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-01 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-01 Pub. Date: 2015-05-01
Image Number: 126134
Caption: Hey Lemont, feel like catching the "Avengers" movie later today? … Yeah, I'll get the popcorn. … Sure, I'll be fine with seeing it in 3-D. … Yeah, I promise not to heckle the movie. … No, I won't be embarrassed if you dress up as Captain America. … What the -- It's dark in there. How would you even know if I roll my eyes when they win against all odds? (Sigh) ok, I promise.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-17 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-17 Pub. Date: 2015-04-17
Image Number: 125566
Caption: Heavenly Father, should I preside over a gay wedding even if it means half my congregation will quit in protest? Should I lead my flock to the right side of history … Reverend of the Year 2000 … Even if the sheep that put the most in the collection plate feel cozy on the wrong side? Give me a sign, Heavenly Father ... So you're saying I should ponder on this a few more years.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-23 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-23 Pub. Date: 2014-05-23
Image Number: 111558
Caption: Lemont, what's the one thing you'd change if you could go back in time. Kill Hitler. Something personal, I mean. Like maybe missed opportunity. I guess I'd have prevented the dark ages. That way we'd be 1,000 years more advance right now. How's that "personal"? I'd get to avoid your question from my roof on Neptune.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-28 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-28 Pub. Date: 2012-10-28
Image Number: 88731
Caption: VH1 PRESENTS WHERE ARE THEY NOW? The Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter Story. The last four years were a dark time for Ozzy. He tried not being able to decide what to order at McDonalds. He tried not being able to decide whether to bring an umbrella. But the media just didn't care. Staying dry is important. Or not. Mainstream Media. Ozzy had become a nobody. He was alone. Forgotten. Unwanted. Toilet paper should be hung over. Or under. Yawn. Mainstream Media. But his fortunes were about to change. He heard another election was coming up. He said "This is right up my alley. Or not." Anonymous Friend. He's even been training 8 hours a day. He can't even decide whether to bathe at night of in the morning. He's at the top of his game. After the break, Ozzy thinks about registering to vote. Or not/
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-18 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-18 Pub. Date: 2012-05-18
Image Number: 80979
Caption: 1982. Do you get an allowance? I'll put it this way … I'm not allowed to play house, mailman, pizza-delivery-guy (whatever that means) or hockey. I'm not allowed to cross the street, say hi to strangers, read in the dark, sit close to the TV, talk back, spit, slouch, stay up late or eat without saying grace ... Never mind, Lemont. I AM allowed to do what I'm told.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-18 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-18 Pub. Date: 2011-09-18
Image Number: 65251
Caption: Still talking to Sasha Mitchell? We've been Facebooking. In like one month she's become my best friend. I've never felt like this before. Like I can tell her anything … All my hopes and my deep dark secrets … And she doesn't judge me at all. That's great, Lemont! I'm glad you have someone who has no opinions about you. Someone ... Who never challenges you to be better. Tap tap tap tap tap. Bing! Sasha agrees with me that sarcasm is lazy. She's right. Enabling burns more calories.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-05 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-05 Pub. Date: 2011-08-05
Image Number: 63975
Caption: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, out of the swirling black clouds above, a freak lightning storm! I ducked into Groceryville to escape certain electrocution. Unfortunately, so did all the people who'd snuck out of the adjacent fat camp. The place was crowded. ... Except, obviously, for the produce aisle. Mr. Brown, all I asked was, "how did you allegedly meet Roxanne?" I'd have taken my chances in the snack aisle, if I'd known the pure, unadulterated evil - and the high prices - that were lying in store for me in produce.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-02 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-02 Pub. Date: 2011-06-02
Image Number: 61587
Caption: WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?! I had hundreds of pictures of Lionel and me, I was gonna use them to prove to the court I'm his dad! Susan? Why you sittin' in the dark in Lemont's apartment e'retime he away? An' is that your evil dog using computer? GILLIGAAAAAAN ... The Skipper tooooo .... FOCUS! I'm having a problem here! Huh? What? Snap snap.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-31 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-31 Pub. Date: 2010-10-31
Image Number: 53539
Caption: What do you mean you're already dressed for the Halloween party? I'm going as a man who's been so crushed by the crumbling economy that he's sunk into a deep, dark chasm of despair … … A man who feels so powerless and frustrated that he'll vote against everyone in power, even if it means replacing them with the people who caused this problem in the first place. Dios mio. Can't you tell?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-27 dark 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-27 Pub. Date: 2010-07-27
Image Number: 50000
Caption: Both Stephen King and Lemont Brown create books that fall into the realm of satire … … And, I would argue, pretty dark satire sometimes. Both were raised by single, working-class mothers … Both worked as columnists for their college newspapers … Both have social security numbers that end in 5555 ... Google is evil.
     
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