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Candorville

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Result page:    2   (20 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-24 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-24 Pub. Date: 2017-12-24
Image Number: 165815
Caption: Why are we here, Michael? First, doc, thank you for seeing me on Christmas Eve. Dr. Noodle. I'm having a crisis. There we were, sitting around the crackling fire, eggnog in hand. We were roasting chestnuts over the open fire. We were singing carols. We'd opened several of the gifts already. That's when the owners came home early. We jumped out the window but I'm pretty sure Vic left his crowbar behind. I see. So you want to know if turning yourself in would make you feel better? I want you to tell anyone who asks, the therapy sessions began at 4 a.m.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-18 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-18 Pub. Date: 2017-05-18
Image Number: 158079
Caption: I had a weird dream last night. Some blond chick showed up, and then our earth crashed into another earth. Weird, no? That's funny. I dreamt that DC Comics' "Harbinger" showed up and warned me about some huge calamity. She's blond … and when she did that in the comics, all the parallel earths ended up collapsing into one. With my luck, I'll end up like Psycho Pirate at the end of "Crisis on Infinite Earths." ... You were supposed to laugh. Never go full-geek, Lemont.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-16 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-16 Pub. Date: 2017-05-16
Image Number: 158077
Caption: Lemont, we have need of you. What the -- Color-blinded. I am the harbinger, I'm … Here to warn me about a calamity threatening the entire multiverse. DC Comics' "Crisis on Infinite Earths," 1985. Oh … wait … this must be Earth Prime, where heroes only exist ... Heroes only exist as comic book characters or as dreams. Anyway, why are you in my dream? I was due to testify before Congress about President Trump's Russia ties, but Trump fired me. So I have some free time.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-24 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-24 Pub. Date: 2014-06-24
Image Number: 112912
Caption: Why do people revere the "founding fathers" as if they were infallible gods? Seriously, a lot of these guys were know-it-all twenty-somethings who had very little life experience. And then there were the ones in their forties. You never trust a guy in his forties. That's when a guy flips out, leaves his wife and buys aa shiny new horse.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-24 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-24 Pub. Date: 2013-09-24
Image Number: 101943
Caption: You called? Yeah, what's another word for "ventriloquist"? What? Another word for "ventriloquist," I was just wondering. Lemont, they told me at work that you called. You never call, you always text. So I thought it was an emergency and dropped EVERYTHING! Would now be a bad time to ask how your day's going? And why don't you have your phone on you?!?!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-10-13 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-10-13 Pub. Date: 2012-10-13
Image Number: 88330
Caption: Mumblello? You're black. Wha … I … Wha? Which means statistically speaking … You've already lived more than half your life. @#$% wake-up calls. Good news is you can have your mid-life crisis early.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-02 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-02 Pub. Date: 2011-10-02
Image Number: 65731
Caption: Mainstream Media. #1. Tea Party! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! MSM. Tea Party! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Do you have cough drops? I', not used to talking about things that really matter. Makes my throat itch. Obama! The economy! Jobs crisis! Wait ... what?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-15 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-15 Pub. Date: 2011-08-15
Image Number: 64449
Caption: What is this, Brown? What is what? This blog you wrote about some sort of famine in the horn of Africa. There's not a single word in here about the Tea Party or Obama or the stock market crash or our jobs crisis. Sometimes - every once in a while - things happen to people who aren't Americans. I want a rewrite by 5.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-24 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-24 Pub. Date: 2009-05-24
Image Number: 33646
Caption: I'm tired of people blaming big business for this awful recession. It's not the banks' fault that people accepted ridiculous loans the banks offered them. And I'm tired of people whining about how the banks got billions in bailout money but the people got next to nothing. We "the people" didn't fight a revolution to rob the multinational corporations of their right to give us all the shaft. Yes we did. Google "East India Company." Can't. Bank repossessed my computer.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-22 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-22 Pub. Date: 2009-02-22
Image Number: 30259
Caption: My newspaper told me the car industry was dying. But I don't make cars, so I was fine. Then my paper told me the financial industry was dying. But I'm not a banker, so I was fine. Then my newspaper told me America's influence in the world was dying. But I don't care about the world, so I was fine. Then my newspaper told me my NEWSPAPER was dying. But there's still TV and the web, so... Fine. Everything's dying, Doc. What's it mean? ...Doc? DOC!!! Heh. Just kidding. Couldn't help it. Where were we?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-21 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-21 Pub. Date: 2009-02-21
Image Number: 30205
Caption: Lost job & home. Obama limited my CEO salary to $500.000.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-16 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-16 Pub. Date: 2009-02-16
Image Number: 30185
Caption: I'm telling you, your fiancée and her dad…They're vampires! Yeah, I get it, they're bossy. No! Look, when Obama limited CEO pay to $500k at bailed-out companies…Roxanne's dad got mad. Went around the office biting everyone's head off. Yeah, he can yell. "That reminds me of my first day as the paper's White House correspondent..." Press. It was a bloodbath! Y'mind? You're interrupting a perfectly good flashback.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-21 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-21 Pub. Date: 2008-10-21
Image Number: 27501
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 16: Airmail caught up with us outside Burger Queen 12 klicks up the Nodung River. I wish to God it hadn't. Dear Lemont Brown, we regret to inform you… …that due to the complete collapse of the American economy, we have reduced your Feudalbanc Massacard credit limit from $7,200 to $48.50. Also, you are now 50 cents over your credit limit, so your APR has been raised to 33.25%.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-12 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-12 Pub. Date: 2008-10-12
Image Number: 27225
Caption: Let's play house. You pretend the bank foreclosed on your home, and I'll challenge your right to vote 'cause you no longer have a local address.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-07-19 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-07-19 Pub. Date: 2008-07-19
Image Number: 24978
Caption: I warned you not to get an adjustable-interest loan. This end up.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-13 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-13 Pub. Date: 2007-10-13
Image Number: 18871
Caption: More than three times as many Blacks live in prison than in dorms. It's a crisis. CRISIS! (Although counting those who live off campus, there are far more Blacks in college than in prison). Wait… back up. CRISIS!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-06-08 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-06-08 Pub. Date: 2007-06-08
Image Number: 17457
Caption: In the year 75066… Extinct Species Exhibit. Museum. You said an alpha male called "The Bush" led the Democratus Congressorus to extinction. Records are really incomplete. We think they let the unwise "Bush" grow incredibly powerful. In May 2007, The Bush issued orders giving himself vast powers in the event of something called "National Emergency." What is a "National Emergency"? Pretty sure it had something to do with an odd creature called a "Sanjaya."
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-14 crisis 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-05-16 Pub. Date: 2006-05-14
Image Number: 13724
Caption: 2006. Latino Menace. Sure, America has always prospered 'cause of hard-working immigrants, but today's problem is different! This time it's a real crisis! 1956. Mexican Menace. These migrants can do our menial labor, but they they've gotta go! There's too many of 'em! Our fragile society just can't handle it! 1896. Italian Menace. They're taking jobs from real Americans. It's never been this bad before. I say deport them all. 1882. Chinese Menace. They won't even learn the English. Why, the magnitude of this calamity is unprecedented! 1856. Irish Menace. There's not way we can assimilate all these foreigners! They'll pollute our culture and steal our jobs! This crisis is unparalleled! Something must be done. 1751. German Menace. And it must be done now. Forbid their entry, else the filthy hordes shall surely flummox us, verily! It hath never been thus before, sire!
     
Result page:    2   (20 images)