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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about couples therapy .

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-12 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-12 Pub. Date: 2017-02-12
Image Number: 153753
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. And you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. "Your life being over" IS one condition. Note to self: Never, ever, ever say "take me back."
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-07 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-07 Pub. Date: 2016-12-07
Image Number: 151815
Caption: What's the point of this relationship if it doesn't give me what I want? Dr. Noodle. Couples' counseling. Three years ago. Like the other day, I came home from a long day at work. All I wanted was a quick "Munsters" rerun. Not that again. I give him plenty of shows, but just because I don't give him the one show he wanted ... Why don't you go get "Munsters" from Netflix if it's that important to you? Maybe I will!
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-06 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-06 Pub. Date: 2016-12-06
Image Number: 151814
Caption: It's been a while since I've seen you two. How are you love birds doing? Dr. Noodle. Couples' counseling. Three years ago. Great. Just great. I mean, sure, we were on the verge of breaking up. And sure, the internet is young and hot, and willing to do just about anything I want ... but tv and I have been together forever, so we might as well just stick it out. Oh. So I'm just a habit to you?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-15 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-15 Pub. Date: 2015-10-15
Image Number: 133795
Caption: I showed him plenty of "Munsters" in the beginning of our relationship. Why can't he be happy with the memory? Why's he still need it all the time? Lemont? Can you at least acknowledge the validity of its point? Sooner or later, each of us finds our favorite show is no longer in our programming package. I say whatever it takes to get me, that's what it takes to keep me. Yeah right, you wouldn't know what to do without me.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-14 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-14 Pub. Date: 2015-10-14
Image Number: 133794
Caption: What's the point of this relationship if it doesn't give me what I want? Dr. Noodle. Couple's counseling. Like the other day, I came home from a long day at work. All I wanted was a quick "Munsters" rerun. Not that again. I give him plenty of shows, but just because I don't give him the one show he wanted ... Why don't you go get "Munsters" from Netflix if its that important to you? Maybe I will!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-13 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-13 Pub. Date: 2015-10-13
Image Number: 133793
Caption: It's been a while since I've seen you two. How are you lovebirds doing? Dr. Noodle. Couple's counseling Great. Just great. I mean, sure, we were on the verge of breaking up. And sure, the internet is young and hot, and willing to do just about anything I want ... But TV and I have been together forever, so we might as well just stick it out. Oh. So I'm just a habit to you?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-03 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-03 Pub. Date: 2013-03-03
Image Number: 93765
Caption: So you've been fighting less? Yes. And I see right through that, doctor. Dr. Noodle. The other day, I caught her reading "The Art of War." M.A. What's wrong with that? Clearly she's using it to get the upper hand in our marriage. She'd dog-eared the page that said "supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." I see. It hurts you to know that in her mind, you fill the role of "the enemy"? Ph.D. No, I just don't want to be tricked into being happy. That really makes me mad! OMG.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-14 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-14 Pub. Date: 2012-09-14
Image Number: 87233
Caption: If she complains about me giving her ultimatums ONE MORE TIME, it's over. PhD. M.A. Couples Therapy.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-13 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-13 Pub. Date: 2012-07-13
Image Number: 51942
Caption: Lemont, why don't you tell her exactly what you want? I want her to stop scaring me spitless with all her talk about bed bugs and asteroids and flesh-eating viruses. How do you feel about what Lemont just said? What if I only scare him twice a week. THIS IS NOT A NEGOTIATION!!! Ok, three times a week, but I feel like I'm compromising more than he is. (this cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-12 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-12 Pub. Date: 2012-07-12
Image Number: 51941
Caption: She's crazy! She's been scaring me spitless for YEARS. Have not. Very few SCIENTISTS BELIEVE AIDS MAY or may not HAVE MUTATED INTO AN AIRBORNE VIRUS!!! HOLDing YOUR BREATH is not necessary! You forgave me for that! You can't keep throwing that in my face! And what was all that mess about asteroids blowing up the Earth? I thought we moved past that. (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-11 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-11 Pub. Date: 2012-07-11
Image Number: 51940
Caption: She's always trying to scare the spit out of me. I can't take it anymore. I see. And how do YOU feel about what Lemont just said? I care about him. I want him to be informed. Is that so bad? Scratch scratch scr-- SCRATCHING YOUR NOSE CAN LEAD TO CATCHING THE FLESH-EATING VIRUS!!! Fascinating. ... What? You see what I'm working with here?! (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-10 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-10 Pub. Date: 2012-06-10
Image Number: 81209
Caption: I said you have a communication problem. I hear that part. Dr. Noodle … Lem. What's a "Lem"? It's me finishing my sentence. You sound just like my wife. She's always whining about me not letting her finish her sentences. Why on earth should I? Why should I be subjected to hearing a bunch of blather if I already get the point? Because cutting someone off before she can fully express herself is disrespectful. You're essentially telling her she's a waste of your time. PhD. Well, what a more respectful way of telling her she's a waste of my time?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-27 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-27 Pub. Date: 2011-11-27
Image Number: 72871
Caption: "Stupid arguments" are the most important. But a parking spot? Yes. She yelled at me for two hours! She felt belittled. If a parking spot is within ten feet of a hydrant, it's not a spot. It's a ticket-trap! She doesn’t understand these things. I parked right across the street, where I was more comfortable. What's wrong with that?! When you told her "that's not a spot." she heard "You're a woman, you don't know what you're talking about." Well tell her to use the English-to-English dictionary, not the English-to-history-of-gender-inequality dictionary.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-04 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-04 Pub. Date: 2011-09-04
Image Number: 64822
Caption: Couples Sessions Today. Dr. Noodle. I"ve been thinking about how you said men are nonverbal communicators. So, lately I've paying to Ebenezer's body language. Go on. His silence, his distance, his late nights at the office, all forced me to realize I cannot fulfill his needs. In opening the door to leave, he let in the light that illuminated all the roaches in our relationahip. Last week, I paused at the door before leaving with the kids, the dog and my luggage. His refusal to even look away from his baseball game so say goodbye told me he was hurting, and couldn't bear to watch. Ebenezer's courage in reaching out to me in nonverbally has made me fall in love with him all over again. Pate, please get me tix for tonight's game. Yes, Ben ... we can get back together. Wait ... we broke up?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-13 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-13 Pub. Date: 2010-11-13
Image Number: 53961
Caption: I think this whole session's been very one-sided, all about her needs … … Well, what about MY needs? Nonsense. We've spent the whole hour talking about what you need to do. You're not a very good listener. I need you to be a better listener.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-06 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-06 Pub. Date: 2010-11-06
Image Number: 53695
Caption: He won't take out the trash. Not true. Dr. Noodle Couples' Counseling. Why, just the other day I took your mother to dinner. Heh heh … She doesn't get it. … and neither will you. Let's go another hour.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-26 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-26 Pub. Date: 2010-09-26
Image Number: 52197
Caption: I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. Ok … Good … Lemont, how do you feel about what it just said? IT'S B.S.!!! Don't I spend a whole hour every day just listening to you and gazing into you? He used to spend four hours a day doing that. But now he spends most of his time with the internet. I can't deal with this jealousy! It's like he gives the internet a meal. And all I get are crumbs. I bet he's thinking about his iPhone right now. I AM! ... NOT! I AM NOT!
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-02 couples therapy 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-02 Pub. Date: 2010-05-02
Image Number: 46759
Caption: Since you're new to therapy, I'll tell you the ground rules. Since you're new to therapy, I'll tell you the ground rules. What you say is just between us, unless you tell me about abuse or you threaten someone. What you say is just between us, unless you tell me about abuse or you threaten someone. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that? Stop that. Stop that. I think we can dispense with me asking why you're seeking therapy. I think we can dispense with me asking why you're seeking therapy.
     
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