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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-08 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147284
Caption: A-Rod Leaves the Yankees. Hey, can a couple of you guys help me get this out to my car? Could I get a little cooperation? A little teamwork? Hmmm? Anybody else? Good-bye party for A-Rod. Please sign if you intend to go.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-06-21 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-06-21 Pub. Date: 2016-06-21
Image Number: 146005
Caption: Donald Trump said to have less money than he claimed. The old pre-nupper.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-03-15 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140708
Caption: Missus Trump. I just realized that if Donald gets elected, I'll have to stay married to him for four years maybe eight! Hmmm eight years that was not not in my business plan.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-02-10 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-02-10 Pub. Date: 2015-02-10
Image Number: 122952
Caption: In Alabama, Same Sex Marriages Run Into Local Resistance. You sure we gotta give them a marriage license? I don't feel it's the Alabama way Well, look on the good side. At least they're the same color Marriage Licenses.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-01-30 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-01-30 Pub. Date: 2015-01-30
Image Number: 122622
Caption: Kim Jong Un will visit Russia. You sure this will make my people respect me more? Definitely ... Especially when coupled with a ruthless secret police, a captive press and political prisons for any annoying person who doesn't respect you.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-03 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-03 Pub. Date: 2013-11-03
Image Number: 103713
Caption: The New US Army Now Allows Same Sex Marriage .. But other things don't change. Would you and the missus like some more sh*t on your shingles? C Company Mess Hall.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-10-21 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-10-21 Pub. Date: 2013-10-21
Image Number: 103128
Caption: Same Sex Marriage Now Legal in New Jersey. Ok Does youse two mint-flavored goombahs, promise t'love, honah, an' obey, f'bettah or f'worse, in sickness an' in helt, 'til death or some sort of unfortunate unsolved incident should occur out in the meadowlands south of D'vince Lombardi service area ... ... Do youse part? Fredo's Concrete. One Size Fits All. Now kiss d'freakin' bride.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-05-08 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-05-08 Pub. Date: 2013-05-08
Image Number: 96842
Caption: Mark Sanford Wins in South Carolina. Well, I was in doubt, but that little Argentina firecracker made my knees knock, too I know. An' if I hadn't of broken into my own ex-wife's house couple times I wouldn't have understood.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-13 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-13 Pub. Date: 2012-09-13
Image Number: 87643
Caption: Let Market Forces Decide. Next item: Couple of old sick people, whaddya bid? The Market. Auction today.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-05-24 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-05-24 Pub. Date: 2012-05-24
Image Number: 81484
Caption: The Zuckerbergs on Honeymoon. Well, darling, we've lost a couple billion and we're being sued by everyone, and criminal charges are being threatened. But we'll always have each other, right? This Ol Pre-nupper.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-02-03 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-02-03 Pub. Date: 2012-02-03
Image Number: 76224
Caption: Donald Trump endorses Mitt Romney. Romney. You have no choice Naturally, Ann and I are delighted to have Donald Trumps endorsement So, whatdy'a say? You come up to my room later and we'll have a couple pops, talk about hair
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-14 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-14 Pub. Date: 2011-11-14
Image Number: 73156
Caption: Education and Football. Next time you need an electrical engineer, call a football player. Next time you need a surgeon, call a football player. Next time you need a nuclear physicist, call a football player. Next time you need a Chinese translator, call a football player. Next time you need an architect, call a football player. Next time you need a computer scientist, call a football player. Next time you need an aerodynamic designer, call a football player. And of course if you need someone knocked on their ass at a cost of a couple million dollars, give us a call. Hey you!
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-10 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-10 Pub. Date: 2011-11-10
Image Number: 73109
Caption: There you go, Alice! A couple of good traditional American kids with their heads screwed on straight. I (heart) Cancun. Occupy Mexican Beaches. Cerveza.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-06-17 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-06-17 Pub. Date: 2011-06-17
Image Number: 62401
Caption: Laissez les bons temps rouler! Let's celebrate! Weiner is gone! Get some booze! Couple of hotel rooms! Buncha broads! Some red hot mamas! You comin' along, Senator Vitter? Just like old times!
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-11-17 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-11-17 Pub. Date: 2010-11-17
Image Number: 54395
Caption: Prince William and Kate Get Best Wishes from Everyone. OWW! Wot did I say? All I said was good luck with the ol' ball and chain! Pip-pip squire! And all that
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-09-14 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-09-14 Pub. Date: 2010-09-14
Image Number: 52050
Caption: Senator McConnell, a friend of the upper classes. But does he actually have to be in bed with us? It's for a hundred thousand dollars, my dear, and it's only for a couple of nights.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-08-17 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-08-17 Pub. Date: 2010-08-17
Image Number: 51064
Caption: The Taliban stones young couple to death. Another day in the 16th century.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-24 couple 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-24 Pub. Date: 2010-05-24
Image Number: 50467
Caption: Rachel Maddow Interview with Rand Paul Continued. Just a couple of points I think people are still wondering about Why certainly, Ms. Maddow, and may I say how much I appreciate the opportunity to fully explain my political philosophy for example
     
Result page:     (19 images)