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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about counselors.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-16 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-16 Pub. Date: 2017-09-16
Image Number: 162602
Caption: Everyone goes through this at one time or another, Lemont. It's important not to worry about what other people think of you, if you know you're doing the right thing. It's important to get to a place of self-confidence. Self-assurance. Peace. Whatever. I still think your new "get your 10th psychosis treated free" punchcards make you look tacky. And yet I'm at peace with that.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-23 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-23 Pub. Date: 2017-07-23
Image Number: 160037
Caption: Nobody's proper anymore. Dr. Noodle. What ever happened to the good old days, when gentlemen were gentlemen? Men never spit in public. Men never had tattoos unless they were pirates. And ladies were ladies. You never would've caught Queen Victoria twerking on Instagram. Sometimes I feel like I was born 150 years too late. That's a common affliction. "Guy-who-would-never-have-been-a-slave-150-years-ago-itis." There are 45 million slaves today, y'know.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-25 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-25 Pub. Date: 2017-06-25
Image Number: 158877
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-30 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156792
Caption: What brings you to therapy … "Steve"? I feel like everything is slipping out of my clutches. Dr. Noodle. I spent years cozying up to the boss, isolating him from the advice of others, stoking his paranoia. I subtly convinced him that everyone was against him and that he could trust no one but me and his family, and even they were a little fishy. I had him in the palm of my hand. I said "buy," he bought. I said "sell," he sold. I said "destroy," and he ruined the lives of the people I said were his enemies. I was the most powerful man in the world! I was the man behind the throne! Did I say I charge $100 an hour? I meant to say $1,000. But then I made the mistake of turning off his tv in the middle of Finding Dory. It's his favorite movie.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-17 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155656
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A man laughed at me when I asked for help. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-16 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-16 Pub. Date: 2017-03-16
Image Number: 155655
Caption: Everything's good. I'm happy doctor. Dr. Noodle. Excellent! That's great news! As long as your happiness is genuine. As long as its not actually denial. Or as long as it doesn't cause you to become complacent. Nope. Genuine happiness over here. Let's schedule an extra sessions so we can find out if that's the case. M.A.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-03 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-03 Pub. Date: 2017-03-03
Image Number: 155070
Caption: Every single-parent feels this way, Lemont. When you look at your baby, you know everything he will one day be ultimately depends on you, and you alone … and every time someone else watches him, they're doing you a favor. So you feel pathetic … I was going to say I felt very grateful. Oh. Never mind, then. M.A.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-11 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-11 Pub. Date: 2016-12-11
Image Number: 151363
Caption: Grandpa's 97th birthday is coming up. I have no idea how to time my gifts for him. Dr. Noodle. What do you mean "time" gifts? One year, I bought him a new set of dominoes, and he hated it. He gave it to the mailman. The next year, my sister bought him the very same set, and he loved it. He brags about it to me all the time. The next year, I bought him a gold pocket watch. He gave that to the pizza delivery guy. My sister gave him the same one the following year and he loves it so much that he's always putting it in my face and asking me what time it is. Maybe we should talk about the concept of "denial." Ok. But after we talk about why I keep picking the right presents in the wrong years.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-07 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-07 Pub. Date: 2016-12-07
Image Number: 151815
Caption: What's the point of this relationship if it doesn't give me what I want? Dr. Noodle. Couples' counseling. Three years ago. Like the other day, I came home from a long day at work. All I wanted was a quick "Munsters" rerun. Not that again. I give him plenty of shows, but just because I don't give him the one show he wanted ... Why don't you go get "Munsters" from Netflix if it's that important to you? Maybe I will!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-06 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-06 Pub. Date: 2016-12-06
Image Number: 151814
Caption: It's been a while since I've seen you two. How are you love birds doing? Dr. Noodle. Couples' counseling. Three years ago. Great. Just great. I mean, sure, we were on the verge of breaking up. And sure, the internet is young and hot, and willing to do just about anything I want ... but tv and I have been together forever, so we might as well just stick it out. Oh. So I'm just a habit to you?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-02 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-02 Pub. Date: 2016-12-02
Image Number: 151554
Caption: What're you doing? Just setting up. Dr. Noodle. I'm livecasting a reaction video to my therapy. It's streaming on Facebook Live and Youtube right now. Well? What're you waiting for? I think I can dispense with asking "Why have you come to therapy." Make sure you skip all the boring questions, I don't want to lose viewers.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-25 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-25 Pub. Date: 2016-09-25
Image Number: 148272
Caption: It all started when I considered voting for Donald Trump. He's against illegal immigration. I'm against illegal immigration. So why not? People said that made him racist. But I agree with him, and I know I'm not racist. And if people were wrong to call him "racist" about that, maybe they're wrong to call him racist about everything. I started arguing with my own wife. I said demanding Obama's birth certificate wasn't racist. I said wanting to ban all Muslim immigrants wasn't racist. Trump saying a judge couldn't do his job because he's Mexican-American? I said that wasn't racist. I said the fact he kept retweeting white supremacists wasn't racist. But yesterday ... I caught myself saying "What's so racist about white supremacists anyway?" You're worried that supporting Trump is desensitizing you to racism? No, I just wondered if I can bunk here tonight. My wife kicked me out.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-24 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-24 Pub. Date: 2016-07-24
Image Number: 145560
Caption: It all started when I was a tiny kid. My grandpa made me get up on stage at the family reunion and sing. Dr. Noodle. He'd really built me up. Told everyone how great a singer I was. But when I looked out at the crowd of 200 or 300 people who were strangers to me ... I froze. The room was completely quiet and I saw 200 or 300 sets of eyes staring at me. Burrowing into my soul and holding me in contempt. I forgot all the words. I started to cry. And then I wet myself. The first step toward overcoming shyness is crawling out from beneath my couch. Never!!!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-12 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-12 Pub. Date: 2016-06-12
Image Number: 143982
Caption: It all started when hired me to they flew me to to meet the CEO. Dr. Noodle. I was so excited. I'd never been to before. They took me to a reception for their biggest clients. There was wine and cheese and an awesome best I've ever That's when they brought out the 900-pound ... and the albatross. They all started ... around them. They stripped off all their clothes, and beneath then they were all wearing robes made of actual living ... Look, there's abiding by a non-disclosure agreement, and then there's paranoia. I think they may have bugged my ...
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-08 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-08 Pub. Date: 2016-06-08
Image Number: 144221
Caption: You know how I've been seeing a lady from Vancouver long-distance? Dr. Noodle. I'm finally going to see her again in person, in just two weeks!!! But now I'm terrified. The one time we were together in person, it was hot and steamy and magical. We tend to build things up in our memories, and reality can never live up to our memories. Try to temper expectations. Too late. She's already started calling me "Thor." Ph.D.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-27 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-27 Pub. Date: 2016-05-27
Image Number: 143641
Caption: It's too bad the National Cartoonists Society's awards ceremony happens to be in Memphis tomorrow. Tennessee just passed a law allowing therapists to discriminate against lesbian, gay, and transgender people. So now these hundreds of cartoonists are going to be basically supporting a new Jim Crow state. Every hamburger will have segregation sauce. Every glass of booze will be a glass of separate-but-equal. Every Snickers they pull from the minibar will taste of nougaty injustice. I'm getting very hungry.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-07 counselor 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-07 Pub. Date: 2016-05-07
Image Number: 142723
Caption: The therapist told me I have to go to sleep tonight, even if I have that dream I've been trying not to have. He said some nonsense about how I have to face my fears or else they'll become "phobias." Doctors are always making things sound worse than they are. Since when has an all-encompassing, debilitating fear been such a big deal?
     
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