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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-11 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172240
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-10 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-10 Pub. Date: 2018-06-10
Image Number: 171805
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-08 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-08 Pub. Date: 2018-06-08
Image Number: 172099
Caption: I feel as if an interlude is coming to an end, Rosencrantz, and a new chapter begins anon. Stop using archaic words!! Fie! I have an appetency to force the world to bethink itself of anon.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-07 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-07 Pub. Date: 2018-06-07
Image Number: 172098
Caption: Given enough time, audiences know what to expect, Rosencrantz. And with expectation comes acceptance. Give them crudty, and that is what they will accept. Give them erudition, and they will rise to accept that. Feed them a diet of lies, and they will learn to crave them. I still would prefer to eat my sandwiches before you've chewed them. Give it time.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-29 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171958
Caption: I did some research. I read the respected New England Journal of Astrophysics, and it looks like you're right … Gamma ray bursts have to come from pretty close by in order to fry all life on earth. So we won't die. Their calculations showed that the worst a gamma ray burst could do is turn us green and make us very, very angry. Might want to doublecheck to make sure you weren't reading their April 1st edition. It's not all bad. They found it may also boost stamina and strength.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-28 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-28 Pub. Date: 2018-04-28
Image Number: 170880
Caption: Don't tell anyone, but I'm pretty sure I saw a TR-38 last night. I was lounging on my roof, bathed in the supple blue glow of my iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Apple Watch, laptop and mini TV. Like ususal. Suddenly, I had the inexplicable urge to turn them all off. That's when it came into view: A huge, black, triangle floating right over me. It began to vibrate, and suddenly a single thought was projected into my head. "Keep at least one of these things off please. Your gigantic wattage is messing with our warp drive." Could've been swamp gas.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-20 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-20 Pub. Date: 2018-04-20
Image Number: 170596
Caption: How come when I ordered my coffee, you told me the deep state is out to get our president? Because it is, Randy. Also, all news about dear leader is fake, except for the news that tells you about how all the news is fake. What? What are you doing? Did the boss put you up to this? That's fake news. Did your boss happen to strike a deal with Sinclair Broadcasting? Also, white supremacists aren't all that ba -- Oh, I just can't do it.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-18 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 169018
Caption: The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singularity had it coming.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-13 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-13 Pub. Date: 2018-03-13
Image Number: 169406
Caption: You wanted to talk to me, boss? Yes, Rudy. I'm going to give you some time off to expand your horizons. You are? But you've never given me any time off ever. That was before patrons began complaining about how boring you are. I'm going to need you to visit exciting locales, get into interesting exploits, and come back with tales with which to enthrall the average cafe patron. Wow. Thanks. I'll give you four hours off every day between midnight and 4 a.m. Use them wisely. Wow. Thanks.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-24 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168671
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet it's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies. If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-13 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-13 Pub. Date: 2018-02-13
Image Number: 168442
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? It's come to my attention Youtube demonetizes your videos … and that you're considering asking our patrons to subscribe to your channel so you'll meet the new Youtube threshold for monetization. Obviously, I cannot allow you to do this minion. Soliciting favors from patrons is highly unethical. Wait ... all I did was make a note of the idea on my phone. How did you know I was considering it? That's beside the point.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-04 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167390
Caption: I've been thinking about how out of control things have gotten, minion. This won't end well. This is a land of immigrants. But the republic elected a leader who says things like "Why are we having all these people from censored countries come here?" … A president who says we need more people form countries like Norway. Who said "Why do we need more Haitians? Take them out." ... A guy who said some of the white supremacists with torches in Charlottesville were very fine people." A guy who tweeted an image during his campaign that suggested the vast majority of white murder victims are killed by black people, when in reality they're mostly killed by white people. A guy who shouts about every single instance of Muslim terrorism, but was totally silent when the DOJ charged a white supremacist with terrorism ... but he's good on taxes for the 1%, so it evens out ... Get back to work, lackey, my gold coins won't polish themselves. Wait ... you were serious about that?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-01 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-01 Pub. Date: 2018-02-01
Image Number: 167932
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-28 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-28 Pub. Date: 2018-01-28
Image Number: 167103
Caption: You've reached Trump. At last! We've finally reached the leader of your blue rock. We come bearing scientific advances. You're so boring. Listen to you. I fail to understand your form of greeting. I-fail-to-understand-your-form-of-greeting … I prefer people who understand, that's all I'll say. We don't need your scientific advances. I don't know where you're from. You're all dangerous, bloodthirsty monsters. Although some of you, I assume, are good people. I say we blow up this geographic area and try another. Go ahead, Rocket-Man, I can blow you up bigger than you can blow us up. Believe me.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-25 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167659
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you were talking to patrons about "Star Wars" again. I don't think so … I did talk about Star Trek. Oh … I see. I love Star Trek. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've looked up to its main characters my whole life. Really? Which ones, Kirk? Spock? Picard? Data? Sisko? Who? No, I mean the Ferengi. The most greedy businessmen in the galaxy. In a whole galaxy of Communists, they kept the predatory capitalist torch burning. Unsung heroes. Very bad man.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-24 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-24 Pub. Date: 2018-01-24
Image Number: 167658
Caption: My people came from a paradise. We were all rich, well-educated homeowners who spoke English. Really? Of course not! It was a censored hole! We were all little censored who escaped, came here, and made this place censored too! Funny thing about censored when you spread it around and give it time, it sprouts roses. I thought you weren't supposed to use censored on flowers 'cause of parasites. All metaphors break down at some point. But you get the idea.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-22 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-22 Pub. Date: 2018-01-22
Image Number: 167656
Caption: This week on Youtube, I counted 150,360 comments beneath 178 "Star Trek: Discovery" reviews. That's amazing. Yeah. And 49% of those comments were people saying the show is unwatchable. 1% of the comments are people asking if the show's unwatchable, how come you've been commenting on every episode and you're still here at episode 11? 50% of the comments are praise for the show. 30% of that 50% of the comments is from people pointing out that they used to only be 40%. I'm not sure the math god sanction this usage of numbers.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-05 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-05 Pub. Date: 2018-01-05
Image Number: 166789
Caption: Randy, if you could be any superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-31 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-31 Pub. Date: 2017-12-31
Image Number: 166139
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea coming up.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-28 come 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-28 Pub. Date: 2017-12-28
Image Number: 166542
Caption: The guy who led the Pentagon's research into UFOs says they're real. Whooptie-doo. What else is new? The year was nineteen hundred and forty-seven. I was on guard duty in Roswell, New Mexico. To make a long story short … we came from different worlds. Her father did not approve. But her love for me is the only reason we still have a Northern Hemisphere. I promised not to call her and her father spared the planet, is what I'm saying. I got that.
     
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