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Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-02 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-02 Pub. Date: 2017-10-02
Image Number: 163550
Caption: Trumps is mysteriously airdropped into a remote part of Puerto Rico. Day 1. Hey, why can't I tweet about the football players anymore? We have not power! Tap-tap-tap. Day 2. This place is a dump! Want to help us clear the road? Nah, I've got heel spurs. Day 3. Aauuugh! I'm missing my tee time, you politically-motivated ingrates! Um ... Suddenly: A mass shooting! the Puerto Rico news cycle is over! I'm outta here! But -
     
2. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-19 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-19 Pub. Date: 2017-06-19
Image Number: 159665
Caption: The Scarlet Lunch. For decades, many U.S. kids without lunch money have been given low-grade substitute lunches and sometimes put to work. Five more minutes of mopping and you can get your shame sandwich! Clearly, there's a problem here … with poor kids not pulling their weight. These little moochers, sitting at desks being taught. Back in my day, the poor kids shoveled coal into furnaces at the carriage factory! Maybe it's time to stop giving free textbooks and chairs to these education queens. Emmie, can you read page 126 about Reaganomics for us? Actually, no. America: Keepin' it class-y! I'll take one. Loser. Poor.
     
3. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-12 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-12 Pub. Date: 2016-09-12
Image Number: 148666
Caption: Video surfaces of Hillary playing Van Halen's "Eruption" note for note. Bleeee. Neenle - neenle - neenle! Eh, kind of dates. Not speaking to Millennials. Oh, no now she's pandering to children of the '80s! Clearly all she does is practice. Have some fun, you know? Why doesn't she do her own solo instead of riding Eddie Van Halen's coattails? She faked it. it's a SCANDAL! Hey! Are you saying I can't criticize Hillary? What? No, of cour - Brave voices like mine will not be silenced! Investigate Guitargate!rn
     
4. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-15 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-15 Pub. Date: 2016-02-15
Image Number: 139428
Caption: Scandal: President to nominate Supreme Court Justice. In a controversial move, Obama plans to nominate a replacement for Scalia! Um, this says I'm supposed to We the People. A president doing president stuff in his final year?! Tyrant! Beatrice Bamboozler. Center for Nakedly Partisan Priorities. But wait! Justice Kennedy was confirmed in Reagan's last year of office. Clearly he's illegitimate and his rulings must be voided ... including the one that made George W. Bush president which voids his appointees ... Roberts. Alito ... giving the court a 4-1 liberal majority! Uh-oh.
     
5. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-01 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-01 Pub. Date: 2016-02-01
Image Number: 138794
Caption: The Trump-Supporting Union Member. I like Trump because he speaks his mind. I'm fed up with Washington - all those crooks and liars. At least with Trump, you know where he stands. Three more Clarence Thomases, no minimum wage increase, and you're fired! See? Very clear.
     
6. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-09-21 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-09-21 Pub. Date: 2015-09-21
Image Number: 132954
Caption: How to be a Republican "Feminist". 1. Borrow ideas from movements you denounce. Women heard very clearly what you said. Not that I support left-leaning ideology. 2. Spread horsesh!# about Planned Parenthood to show you're a maverick lady. I saw the brains being harvested with my own eyes. 3. Put poor women in their place. Avoid STDs through willpower, bitches. 4. If all else fails, pose with guns while simultaneously giving birth to octuplets. Blam blam. Blam blam. Foomp! Foomp! Foomp! (Prop babies are ok!)
     
7. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-25 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-25 Pub. Date: 2015-03-25
Image Number: 124879
Caption: It was so hazy and unreal, I didn't think of it as rape. Because of the drug, it didn't feel forced. In the 70s, everyone seemed to be having lots of consensual sex. Sex itself was no big deal. Nave, I didn't know about "Roofies" yet, and the term date rape was many years from entering my vocabulary. Unlike many rape victims, I was not traumatized so much as puzzled and creeped out. I don't remember talking about it to anyone at college, though I may have. Never saw Carl after that. I heard he transferred to another school ... again ... Years passed. It eventually became clear to me that he must have spiked my drink that day. Newsbeat. The Date Rape Drug. ! As it slowly dawned on me what happened, I grew angry. Mostly, I considered it a lesson learned: Never leave your drink alone with an asshole. (This is a long form cartoon. To see next panels, use "Image Number" box at left and enter 124880.)
     
8. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-08-25 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-08-25 Pub. Date: 2014-08-25
Image Number: 115724
Caption: If cops treated bankers the way Ferguson cops treat black people. Bar d' Fern. What're you boys up to? Shouldn't you be home with your wives and kids? He posed an imminent threat to my 401k! The shooting was justified because we had video of him conspiring to defraud investors. Our strategy: Betting against our own financial products. A real thug. Clear the area! But it's speech! $ Vote me. Tear gas.
     
9. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-23 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-06-24 Pub. Date: 2014-06-23
Image Number: 113066
Caption: Iraq: Now and Zen. Welcome to Punditspew. I'm here with Iraq war architect and recent convert to Zen Buddhism, Bolt Perkins. Good evening, Bolt. Iraq kablooie! Namaste. Now that Iraq is falling apart, do you regret starting the war in the first place? Ah, my child, but the past does not exist - only the present. And what I see at this moment is a bloodbath in Iraq and Obama in the White House. Yes, but many people warned of civil war - Please, you must empty your mind of thought. Only then will you see clearly that I am still to be taken seriously. All right. So if a puppet government falls in the desert and the whole world is around to witness it, does it make a sound? Yes, it goes: O ... baa ... maa ... O ... baaa ... maaa ...
     
10. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2013-04-01 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-04-01 Pub. Date: 2013-04-01
Image Number: 95410
Caption: Good news: There's only a handful of people left in the U.S. who seriously oppose gay marriage! Bad news: They all sit on the Supreme Court. Surely they have lofty reasons for objecting. Let's ask Scalia. Homosexual sodomy? Come on. For 200 years it was criminal in every state. (Actual quote from Oct. 2012) Okay, then clearly he's try to protect our constitutional right to condemn gay sex. It's right here! Section 6. Each citizen shall be free to exclaim "Ew, pervy!" at the thought of hot and sweaty patriot-on-patriot (or Lady-upon-Lady) acts of sexual congrefs. So let's compromise: Gays can marry and Scalia can come to the ceremony and voice his concerns. Any objections to this marriage? Yes! It's grody! Thank you, sir. I now pronounce you legally wed.
     
11. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2012-01-02 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-01-02 Pub. Date: 2012-01-02
Image Number: 89011
Caption: Slowpoke. 2012: A Mad Lib Odyssey. (Presidential candidate) will commit a gaffe during a campaign stop at a deep-fried (dessert) eatery in (rust belt state). Someone who refuses whipped cream on fried fudge is clearly out of touch with the people! (Rabidly anti-gay political figure) will be caught in a (luxury automobile) with a male escort named (beloved tv action hero). I don't know how I wound up in that car, but I do know marriage equals one man and one woman! You will intimately get to know the life story of an Olympic athlete who was run over by a (large farm equipment) at age three, and overcame a harrowing addiction to (animal tranquilizer) to become a champion at (sport you haven't thought about since the last Olympics). Wheaties. Hammer throw champ. After a brutal election cycle dominated by wildly inaccurate attack ads from (shadowy superpac), (conventional wisdom spewer) will declare "the system worked." No problems here!
     
12. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-21 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-21 Pub. Date: 2011-11-21
Image Number: 89610
Caption: Slowpoke. Violent spin. A Palin aide claims that a map targeting democrats - including the recently-shot Gabrielle Giffords - doesn't who rifle sigh crosshairs, but surveyor sembols. Betha didnt know I've got a thing for cartomagraphy! Clearly we are mistaken to erad violence into right-wing rhetoric! When senate candidate Sharron Angle (R - NV) called for "second amendment remedies" ... I mean we should all buy guns to help support the economy! It'll help small businesses and steelworkers! When REp. Michele Bachmann (R - MN) called for voters to be "armed and dangerous" over carbon credits ... I simply wanted them to have arms so they could call their elected officials in Washington! Together, we can put the global warming hoax in danger! When Giffords' tea party opponent ran an ad saying "Get on target for victory in November - Help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office - shoot a fully automatic M-16 with Jesse Kelly" ... I just wanted to improve peoples. hand-eye coordination at the voting booth! Some of these ballots are so confusing, you need to be an expert marksman!
     
13. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-24 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 89606
Caption: Slowpoke. Year of the Mombies. The "Protect Life Act," recently introduced in congress, says doctors can let a pregnant woman die if saving her life kills the fetus. Blastocyst = life. Fully-grown woman: Expendable fetus-mobile! But if pregnant women don't count among the living ... technically that makes them undead. Baby ... want ... Chunky ... Monkey ... Pick ... les ... Which raises important legal questions, such as: Do undead baby-incubator zombies need to pay taxes? Report all W-2 income UNLESS you are but a vessel for an actual human being. And clearly pregnancy tests will be required at the polls so that only living women vote: I'm afraid you'll have to pee on the stick, ma'am, before you can proceed to the voting booth.
     
14. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-07-09 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-07-09 Pub. Date: 2011-07-09
Image Number: 89286
Caption: Slowpoke. Drooly Julie in "Hard Science". In lab 102B at NASA's Goddard Institute Drooly Julie, you've been brought in because climate change is being ignored while all people talk about is a politician's crotch! Can you help us?!? Hmm Well, all this extreme weather gives me an idea ... Tap-tap-tap. TWEET! Breaking News: Florida caught tweeting lewd satellite images of itself to the Panama Canal. yfrog. StateOfFlorida@PanamaCanal. Baby, I want to put my Keys in your locks! NASA. Soon: A media frenzy! What is NASA's response to this? Clearly the Florida penisula-er, peninsula is seeking the safe harbor of an interior passage as we enter hurricane season. It's a pointed alarm about global warming. NASA. But Cable News has its own interpretation. This just in" Could Trinidad and Tobago be Florida's love children? ARGH! We've FAILED! Okay, I've got a better publicity stunt: CLIMATOLOGIST ORGIES on melting ice caps!
     
15. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2011-06-25 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-06-25 Pub. Date: 2011-06-25
Image Number: 89275
Caption: Slowpoke. Welcome to Ball*Mart. The conservative majority on the supreme court just killed a class-action lawsuit against Wal-Mart despite overwhelming evidence of sex discrimination. The company has written a policy against discrimination, so it can't be sued. Duh! Actual reasoning. Um ... Clearly we should only concern ourselves with companies that have officially gone on the record with their sexism. Recruitment video. At Galactabank, we're proud to be an unequal opportunity employer. Bros before hos, as we like to say! But short of that, what would it take for Scalia to see a problem? Ball*mart executive boardroom. Bitchez keep out. Under my thumb! Seems fine to me! Perhaps if glass ceilings were tinted? Bonk. See? It's really there! Hmm ... No, I still don't see it. Management.
     
16. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-11-08 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-11-08 Pub. Date: 2010-11-08
Image Number: 89903
Caption: Slowpoke. Welcome back to PUNDITSPEW! With me again is beltway democratic strategist Dan Doormat, and chairman of the Archaic Values Coalition, Mr. Perkins. (Sigh) Hello. WE SMOTE YOU, HITLER-BREATH! So, why DID the Dems do so poorly in the midterm elections? Well, there was a lot of misinfor - YOU TROD UPON THE FOUNDING FATHERS' GRAVES LIKE WILD, FAECES-SPOUTING BOARS! Do either of you have any regrets? I'm sorry we said some not-so-nice things about Wall Street. I REGRET THAT I HAVE NOT WATERED THE TREE OF LIBERTY WITH THE BLOOD OF TYRANTS! Yet. Fascinating! So what happens now? Clearly, we Dems must move to the right. AND WE SHALL REACH ACROSS THE AISLE ... TO TEAR YOUR LOINS ASUNDER! Bipartisanship at last!
     
17. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-24 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-24 Pub. Date: 2010-05-24
Image Number: 90120
Caption: Slowpoke. More E-holes. The black hole - emails go to this person to die. Oh, a little person has asked me a question, as though I would actually answer it. IGNORE! The Famesquatter - claims celebrity names on her social networking sites for herself. Maybe more people will love me if I Tweet as Oprah. Oprah Winfrey: Just saw dentist. No cavities! The reckless inviter - invites ALL Facebook friends to events they couldn't possibly attend, not would they want to. You are invited to the Sixth Annual Baking Soda Symposium to be held Saturday at the Yakima Doubletree. The Oblivinerd - person clearly unaffected by the recession who boasts about gadget expenditures. Can't decide on skin for iPhone. Guess I'll get all six. Already bored with my iPad. What's next?
     
18. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2009-07-27 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2009-07-27 Pub. Date: 2009-07-27
Image Number: 90703
Caption: Slowpoke. Its the newest movie sensation in a land that's 90% gay bluto The Flaming Hetero. Bluto journeys around wearing ridiculously straight fashions! Pleated Khakis. Played By Gay Actor. Gadgets on belt. Dockers. He thrusts himself into hilariously awkward situations that expose anti-straight prejudice. C'mon, everybody! Do The Locomotion! Oh. My. God. 45. But watch out - Bluto craves wild and crazy sex ... With WOMEN! Who's your lawn boy? Rrrr. Clearly Bluto is changing gay's views of straights! What a bunch of weirdos!
     
19. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-10-20 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-10-20 Pub. Date: 2008-10-20
Image Number: 91257
Caption: Slowpoke. Great Moments In Equality. The glass ceiling cracked some more this week as Sarah Palin showed female politicians can be WORLD-CLASS lying scumbags. For so long, the people have asked "Where are the great female liars in politics?" Well, Sarah Palin had proven those sexists wrong! Pamela Tutwillow. Historian of Presidential Prevarication. "This strong, proud, defiant woman is clearly not afraid to stand up and tell the untruth!" I said "Thanks but no thanks" to the Bridge to Nowhere! Our enemies in Iraq planned and carried out and rejoiced in the death of thousands of Americans. Even Bush admitted there was no link between Iraq and 9/11. You go girl! Next week: Will women ever close the shooting spree gap? We'll talk to one young lady who's GUNNING FOR GLORY! Keep the faith, sisters!
     
20. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen  Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons 2008-08-18 clear 
Cartoonist(s): Jen Sorensen
Comic/Cartoon: Jen Sorensen's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2008-08-18 Pub. Date: 2008-08-18
Image Number: 91249
Caption: Slowpoke. NOISE WAR. It started with the cell phone dipwads. YEA, I'M HAVING MY INVERTED NIPPLE EXTRUDED TODAY! Noise-cancelling headphones ensued. Blah blah blah blah. HA! But in this age of advanced ringtones, 4-wheelers, and fat tailpipes, it's only a matter of time before we see ... Mini personal leaf blowers to clear crumbs off of public seats! A Plexiglas bubble must be added to the anti-noise ensemble. Parents can no linger hear their wee ones above the din, so they use BABY AMPLIFIERS. I think she's crying WAAA. People resort to full-body suits made of sound-dampening eggshell foam, on top of everything else. Ah, peace and quiet! I can't move.
     
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