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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (23 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-01 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-01 Pub. Date: 2019-01-01
Image Number: 175657
Caption: I read your article about how 13,000 or so years ago, an apocalyptic catastrophe cause an ice age that lasted 1,000 years. The Younger Dryas cold period. And 1,000 years later, that ice age suddenly ended, maybe in a single day, causing a global flood. It would explain the sudden disappearance of a lot of megalithic civilizations ... the end of Atlantis ... all the ancient flood myths ... we may have come close to extinction. I'm just saying, there've been worse years. 2018 wasn't that bad, Lemon.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-27 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-27 Pub. Date: 2018-10-27
Image Number: 174605
Caption: What'd you mean when you called it the Republican Supreme Court? They're not all Republicans. Ever since the Republicans voted as a bloc in 2000 to end the recount and make Bush president … and with all the 5 to 4 votes … it's become increasingly clear that the court is a political body, just like Congress. There's no point in pretending it's still some unbiased arbiter of justice. Nothing's legitimate anymore. This is just like the last days of Rome.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-13 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-13 Pub. Date: 2018-09-13
Image Number: 173985
Caption: Lemont … I've been thinking about your theory that The Eye of Africa is actually the lost city of Atlantis. I checked it out on Google Earth. Not only is it exactly as Plato described it, but all the sand in the Sahara to its west looks like it was pushed toward Atlantis by some ancient cataclysm. And that could've been the impassable barrier of mud he mentioned that cut voyagers off from the sea. Problem is, the whole thing is 485 meters above sea level. Details.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-10 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-10 Pub. Date: 2018-09-10
Image Number: 173982
Caption: Did you know they've probably found the advanced, lost city of Atlantis, Susan? They found it decades ago in the Sahara Desert. They call it The Eye of Africa. It fits almost every description Plato wrote: Equidistant, concentric rings of land and what probably used to be water ... mountains to the north showing evidence of ancient rivers, etc. You'd think an army of archeologists would've gone there by now to explore ... but nope. Nothing. I still don't think it's true that They don't want to admit Africa ever created anything. Do you have any idea how many people insist aliens must've built the pyramids.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-02 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 2018-09-02
Image Number: 173653
Caption: I read your latest article about the Fermi Paradox. It's the likeliest explanation … We've only been transmitting radio signals for about 100 years, Susan. And since radio waves travel at the speed of light, our radio bubble's only about 200 light years across. Our radio waves have only reaches 15,000 or so stars out of 400 billion. It'll be tends of thousands of years before most of the galaxy ever sees I Love Lucy. There could be 399,999,985,000 stars out there with civilizations broadcasting I Love Splorg or something, and we won't even notice it until the year 201818 ... and if most aliens skipped radio and went straight to internet, we may never, ever know they exist. Is that why your headline was We'll Never See a Splorg Get Trolled on Facesplorg?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-08 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171290
Caption: Y'know ... if there were a human civilization 13,000 years ago that was more advanced than we are now, it would explain everything. How so, Lemont? Sorry, no time to tell you right now. It'd take more time than we have. Well, just summarize it. Can't do that. I'll be just getting to the amazing part, and you'll check your watch and say Sorry, gotta go. In the time it took you to say all that, you could've told me. Do we have time to set up a time when we'll have time?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-07 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-07 Pub. Date: 2018-05-07
Image Number: 171289
Caption: How do we know we're the first advanced civilization to ever walk the earth? We think fossil records teach us all we need to know about the history of life on earth. But the only creatures to get fossilized were the ones dumb enough to get stuck in the mud. If there was a civilization smart enough to say Hey, don't lie down in that muck pit, you idiot, we'd never even know they existed. If they were so smart, how come they all disappeared? Maybe they saw us coming.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-19 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-19 Pub. Date: 2017-08-19
Image Number: 161536
Caption: It's estimated the Amazon contains about 100 tribes never contacted by outside civilization. And there are hundreds more uncontacted people in jungles all over the world. They've probably never heard of the black plague, or the Dark Ages, or the Mongol hordes, or World War II, or Donald Trump ... and we've never heard of all the calamities they've survived, either.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-06 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-06 Pub. Date: 2017-08-06
Image Number: 160565
Caption: Your latest article was a little confusing, Lemont. What's confusing about my having solved Fermi's paradox? I've single-handedly explained how the universe could be filled with civilization, even though we've seen no evidence them. Did you know there's a possibility our universe exists within a black hole? ... and every black hole in our universe may contain an entire universe of its own? I've heard that. And did you know that people ultimately just can't stand those who are different from them? Don't you see, Susan? There is no paradox. When a civilization advances far enough, it doesn't fly to other stars. It thinks much bigger. It creates a black hole and vanishes into it so it can have a whole universe to itself. They could shape it and write its natural laws however they want. The Berniezoidians could have a whole universe full of single-payer healthcare, ... and the Trumpmagans could have a whole universe full of no undocumented immigrants. Oh. I was just confused about the part where you wrote "The Trumpmagans still insist Mexico will pay for the event horizon."
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-31 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-31 Pub. Date: 2016-12-31
Image Number: 152629
Caption: 2016 wasn't no joke, bruh. Hundreds of unarmed people shot by police didn't even make the news … Thousands of unarmed people shot by civilians didn't make the news. You know what made the news? Rich people an' racists exploit the fears of average people to seize power. How that news, bruh? That's how it always been, ev'r since the Egyptians invented money. You're totally wrong. It was the Phoenicians.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-08 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-08 Pub. Date: 2015-11-08
Image Number: 134381
Caption: NASA has hinted they'll find "definitive evidence" of alien life within 30 years. What if they're not just talking about microbes? I just read that the Kepler telescope discovered something amazing. Far away, around a star called KIC 8462852, Kepler spotted clumps of what seem to be artificial megastructures orbiting the star. Maybe the reason NASA's so confident they'll find life is because Kepler seems to a Dyson sphere under construction. A Dyson sphere is a megastructure that totally encompasses a start that whoever builds it can harness most of the star's energy output. KIC 8462852 is 1,500 light year away, Clyde. Do you know what that means? It mean you finally out-geeked y'self? It means we're looking 1500 years into the past at what may be the emergence of a type II civilization on the Karshev scale!!!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-30 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-30 Pub. Date: 2015-08-30
Image Number: 131280
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I was just thinking about how the oceans make up two-thirds of our planet. And most of the underwater world is basically unexplored. We have no idea what or who may be living down there, Susan. What does it matter? We've been here for hundreds of thousands of years. If there's anyone down there, they obviously don't want to meet us. We don't know that. What if they're just as clueless as we are? What if they've just never thought to explore what's at the top of the water and don't even know life exists up here? There could be a whole civilization of mer-bears who think they're the paragon of animals. That's just silly, Lemont. Would a mer-bear be silly for wondering if there are air-fish at the top of the water?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-04 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-04 Pub. Date: 2015-07-04
Image Number: 129041
Caption: I was sick the other week. I had the sniffles for two days. … and then I spent the next five coughing and hacking up a whole civilization of green leprechauns. At one point, I coughed so hard that my nose started bleeding. Look on the bright side, bruh: At least it ain't happened to me. I don't think the "bright side" thing works the way you think it does.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-05 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-05 Pub. Date: 2014-11-05
Image Number: 118497
Caption: Well, the republicans did pretty well yesterday. Of course they did. For the first time, the younger generations are doing worse than the older ones, and our influence in the world is waning. Whenever a civilization's in decline, whoever's better at pointing fingers wins control. Little known fact: before he was emperor, Napoleon taught a class on scapegoating at a junior college. I thought you were going to stay away from Wikipedia.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-09 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-09 Pub. Date: 2014-10-09
Image Number: 117065
Caption: What makes us think we're the first civilization on Earth? You got five seconds, Big L. Five seconds for what? To make it clear what this conversation has to do with C-Dog. Before we got here, there 4 … were billions of years of plate tectonics that 3 ... would've melted or buried any trace of older civilization 2 ... beneath tons of rock. 1 ... NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU!!! Time's up.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-01 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-01 Pub. Date: 2013-02-01
Image Number: 93013
Caption: On the bright side, when western civilization collapses into a post-apocalyptic orgy of violence and exploitation, and the newly unemployed hordes desperately struggle to survive, you and I can teach seminars. (Published originally on 2010-09-24.)
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-09-20 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-09-20 Pub. Date: 2012-09-20
Image Number: 87547
Caption: There's death in the air, Clyde. I wonder if this is what the British felt when their empire began to die. TIME. Tell me, might those poor beggars the Romans have felt this very way? Blimey! When the noble Babylonians didst descend, couldst they have suffered thusly? Dang. This stinks. (Originally published on 9/30/10).
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-12 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-12 Pub. Date: 2012-03-12
Image Number: 77312
Caption: Whath that? A tree. A twee? Yes. Whath that? A car. A caw? Yes. Whath that? A PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!!! Pudda panth back on? Western civilization is going straight to HELL … o … kitty. Wethtun what?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-25 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-25 Pub. Date: 2012-02-25
Image Number: 76742
Caption: Have you ever thought that in the hundreds and thousands of years man has been here … We've only heard the best singers of the last 100 or so? For all we know, there was an ancient Mesopotamian donkey-herder whose voice could make the angels weep. But we'll never, ever hear her because time screwed her out of a recording contract. I don't think they "herded" donkeys. No, I googled it. Donkeys were all ever ancient Mesopotamia.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-30 civilization 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-30 Pub. Date: 2010-09-30
Image Number: 52454
Caption: There's death in the air, Clyde. I wonder if this is what the British felt when their empire began to die. Tell me, might those poor beggars the Romans have felt this very way? Blimey! When the noble Babylonians didst descend, couldst they have suffered thusly? Dang. This stinks.
     
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